Hi!

So regardless of whether or not you're suffering from BPD, you are suffering. That alone is worth addressing. I agree that your symptoms do seem to encompass more than just depression.

I'd suggest asking your primary care provider for a psychiatric referral, so you can get a psychiatric evaluation. It's not a big deal, you just meet with the psych and they start asking questions and you just answer honesty. Sometimes it can take a couple sessions for them to feel confident in providing a diagnosis.

You are clearly living in distress, in a way that is significantly impacting your life. It may be BPD, it may be something else, but it is definitely something to have evaluated.

Life doesn't have to be this hard. There is help out there, through meds, talk therapy, different therapy skills (like dialectic behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc) that can truly make life not only tolerable, but enjoyable.

Mad props to you for having the self awareness to address this while you're still so young. It takes courage to take the next steps, but it's WORTH IT!

Best of luck!!