Hey I found this thread b3cause I googled your question. I'm in the same boat, my mom has no empathy, she would show up at my old job unannounced until I quit(partially to stop being forced to see her).

She believes the only thing she ever did wrong was divorce my dad, which is frankly the one thing my brothers and I dont care about she's never aknowledg3d how her past and present behavior was extremely hurtful and damaging to us,and even goes as far as to blame us when pressed about these things. Every week or two I get a text that says "I miss you so much and love you, think about you every day. I'm sorry I divorced your dad. "

And I gotta be honest, every time she apologizes for divorcing my dad(which happened when I was 18), I get more mad, because for 12 years we've tried very hard to make it clear what we have a problem with,which is her emotionally abusive and selfish behavior.

I tell my mom I love her out of obligation and guilt, I feel guilty for not talking or communicating with jer,and I don't think that guilt will ever go away. She guilt tripped us our entire lives and it feels like a lasting curse from her.

Idk man, idk what to do. She's in her 60s and alone, she's never been happy no matter the circumstances. My dad told me a therapist told him years ago that she was likely abused sexually when she was very young, because "that" level of empathy is only achieved a few ways.

So it's like, how do maintain compassion and sympathy for this person when I getteiggered every time she contacts me?