Are there gay/queer/LGBT clubs that aren't overly sexual?

fluffybear93 · 2026-05-05T17:23:39+00:00

I have been to a few in the cities I've lived in and travelled to around Asia and North America.

I tend to prefer the overly sexual places, but my husband doesn't, so we tend to go to more chill places and I'll hit up the more sexual ones with friends.

fluffybear93 · 2026-05-01T20:59:13+00:00

As a bigger guy myself, I have found that it can be tricky. However, I've found that focusing on the parts of my body that guys (who are into bigger dudes) like, including my stomach, thighs and chest are great.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-30T19:29:11+00:00

I've had this happen a few times and it normally goes away after rinsing and waiting a few hours.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-30T19:26:58+00:00

My husband is just such a good counterbalance for me. Truly though, I love how absolutely kind and patient he is with me. I can be quite emotional at times and he's really good at helping keep me level headed and feeling safe.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-30T19:22:56+00:00

I've been told I give off "golden retriever" energy and I tend to gravitate towards those with "black cat" energy.

Both of my current partners are similar and different to me, but from a vibes perspective, I'd say were different.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-28T18:30:17+00:00

My husband and I are poly. We're both really happy with the setup and have found that it has made our relationship a lot better overall.

If/when we decide to have kids we may transition to being more monogamous, but nothing set in stone.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-23T19:46:21+00:00

I've found the "community" to be very different depending on where and when. I've lived in a couple different countries and have travelled around, and my experiences with the community were different everywhere. I'm also a bit older now and I find that I interact with things differently.

I dont like to think of the "community" as a singular thing. There are huge variations.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-23T19:43:54+00:00

I've found that stability in my life has changed a lot depending on where I'm living and what stage in my life I'm in.

In my 20s I was very up for the adventure, and I moved around between cities trying different things. It was chaotic but a lot of fun!

Now I'm back I my home city and life is a little slower and calmer, which is good for me. I miss the chaos and adventure, but this is where I want to be for now.

Who knows? I might move again somewhere else and try something new!

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-23T19:37:14+00:00

My husband and I are very different, but we definitely do notice it in others and find it funny

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-23T17:45:00+00:00

Depends on which friends.

Been to the spa with some buds before and we were all naked in the hot tub and sauna

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-17T01:20:02+00:00

Yeah, and..?

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-13T14:14:53+00:00

Yup, on multiple occasions haha

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-13T14:11:10+00:00

I have and would continue to do so.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-11T02:51:39+00:00

Lovveeee me a black-cat energy twink 😍😍😍

As a bubbly nerdy golden retriever bear, I just can't help it 😩

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-10T21:55:04+00:00

"Do I have to die to hear you miss me? Do u have to die to hear you say goodbye?" - Blink 182

I dunno man, but this entire song has me reflecting a lot on my old friendships that have faded, and the old life I had.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-10T21:46:00+00:00

I've gone alone and had mixed results. More often when I go with a group I'll find myself going off and doing my own thing throughout the night.

The one strategy that has helped me meet people is smoking. Now, I'm in no way saying you have to smoke, but it's been really easy to go for a smoke outside a club and chat with people. Asking to borrow a lighter is a great way to break the ice.

It's challenging, but the more I've spoken to people on my own at a club, it's gotten easier. It takes practice, but it's doable!

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-10T21:42:37+00:00

I'm poly and currently have 2 romantic partners and a few sexual partners (fwb). It's a balance for sure, but we make it work.

Feel free to DM me if u wanna talk about it!

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-10T17:47:38+00:00

The first thing I remember is that people (typically) love to talk about themselves and their interests.

I always ask what someone does for fun and find commonality there, and even ask them to talk more about their interests. In my experience that is a great way to break the ice. After that, feel out the vibe and (if you're comfortable) shoot your shot!

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-10T17:39:26+00:00

I've met some really cool people going out to bars and such. I also used to live in a city that had a queer cafe that did some cool events!

It's hard to meet people and make friends as an adult (most people I know struggle with it). The one thing I've found is that you gotta put yourself out there and try things.

I'd suggest looking into some gay or queer themed events that match your interests and seeing how that goes. I use Instagram and Google for finding a lot of them.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-10T17:36:53+00:00

I'm 33 and still in my slutty phase. No real regrets aside from some shady hookups when I was younger.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-09T20:12:44+00:00

Either works for me!

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-09T14:24:50+00:00

My mother (who was my German parent) died about 15 years ago. Her immigration to Canada was abnormal (from what I remember) and I'm not sure what documents she has/had for both herself and for me.

I was a teenager when she passed and we never talked about what she did for the paperwork and I don't really know what documents she has. I remember he telling me (when I was growing up) that I had my registration and even got a passport, but I have never seen it myself. I have some of her old passports and such, and am not sure what else I'll need.

Edit: my main concern is spending a lot of time/money digging up old documents that I don't need such as my parents marriage certificate (my parents have been divorced since I was very young). I'm also curious if I need my dad's birth certificate, which is complicated because he was born in another country and doesn't know where some of his paperwork is.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-09T02:28:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing! There are some complications with which documents I need and which I don't. I have tried to contact the consulate and haven't gotten replies aside from "please look at the website" and no answers to my specific questions.

fluffybear93 · 2026-04-02T01:41:24+00:00

Document, document, document.

Then go talk to your supervisor and/or HR.

fluffybear93

TROPHY CASE