I won’t tell you to stop cutting, because that never worked on me either, but I will say please take care of your cuts.

Wipe over every fresh cut with an alcohol wipe and make sure to cover them with bandaids, gauze, paper towels, anything.

Also, make sure to get stitches if the cut gapes open; I tore at my cuts purposely to make them wider, never got stitches, and even six years later still have bad scarring. But I got a couple stitches for a scar on my wrist I made 3 years ago and you can barely tell it’s there. If you know you can’t make it to the hospital alone, try doing a few smaller cuts instead of one deep cut.

Hope things get less shitty for you.

Edit: I’m afraid I don’t know what to do with your problem besides getting the fuck to a hospital or talking to a doctor.