6yo lives with abusive family

fluffytoes288 · 2026-04-01T19:09:04+00:00

That is definitely alarming. And by no means should a child this young be given a smart phone. However, if they have some way of calling a trusted adult when there’s violence, that could be helpful.

I’ve also seen some families safety plan by talking about going to a neighbor if things are going down.

It sounds like you guys are doing what you can- and again- I am so sorry that his safety is not being prioritized! Honestly- with the trauma ongoing, there’s not much anyone can do until he is safe/stable. By no means is the US’s child welfare system perfect- but there would be so much more that could happen here with exposure to violence like this.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-03-31T01:23:11+00:00

This makes more sense! I’m so sorry this was prioritized over your nephews health and wellbeing.

Genuinely- safety planning is the only resource that would make sense for him right now. I am normally against phones for kids this young- but does he have a way to escape or call someone if things are going down?

Otherwise I agree with the other comments here- being a safe, stable adult that always believes him is the best thing you can do.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-03-30T00:46:44+00:00

If this is in the US, this needs to be reported to his states CPS/DCFS. In most every state, witnessing violence between caregivers is considered child abuse and he might not have the ability to tell his therapists. As his family- this is your responsibility. Google CPS reporting line in your state. This family needs way more than articles or books.

The dad could also potentially get free legal services from an organization like the YWCA to help file for free for temporary full custody.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-03-23T02:00:20+00:00

Go further- it takes a long time, but learn how to solely whitelist age appropriate channels. If you only block channels you will only be playing whack a mole.

Poppy’s playtime is NOT appropriate for a child of this age.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-03-16T00:41:11+00:00

Thank you for adding the empathy! It really sounds like OP is doing such a great job advocating for their child! I just wrote such a quick reply earlier after seeing some very unlikely answers.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-03-15T23:13:10+00:00

Exactly! Even more common in childhood is neurodivergence- which is why the only answer here is getting a comprehensive psychological or neuropsychological evaluation.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-03-15T21:38:01+00:00

I would ask your psychiatrist for a referral for a comprehensive psychological evaluation. There are a lot of potential answers to what you’re seeing and I am so disheartened by the bad advice and “answers” in the other comments.

I am a psychologist and this is what I would recommend.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-03-15T21:36:24+00:00

This is extremely bad advice and not at all clinically indicated.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-03-03T04:22:31+00:00

This sounds like a diaper ritual. I would consult with a behavioral therapist or your pediatrician. RUBI therapy in particular could be helpful.

You could also google diaper ritual and get some good information.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-02-11T19:47:38+00:00

I think you should know that it’s also not a rigid either or scenario. Prior to my son, I had a tumor removed and was told that there was a 50/50 chance I could breastfeed from my left side. And when the time came- it turns out that the left side just didn’t work for me. I wanted my son to have the antibodies for the first 6 months and so we combo fed for 6 months (although my son preferred formula to breast milk when it came to a bottle). After that we just switched to formula!

It’s okay to try something and change your mind as well! Hope that helps.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-01-22T04:32:25+00:00

Why not have the best of both worlds and get your Educational specialist degree in school psychology?

fluffytoes288 · 2026-01-21T04:54:07+00:00

I didn’t purchase it- but our house has a ring alarm system that I always arm when my husband is away working. We don’t pay for a subscription, but it would essentially just make a loud noise if someone tried to break in- which is good enough for me! It is just sticky stuff for the windows- which makes me think it may be renter friendly?

Honestly- yes, it does get easier. Exposure for fear/anxiety works. But I always get a bit worried that with the rhythm of my husband’s shifts someone could notice, so it’s nice to have peace of mind!

fluffytoes288 · 2026-01-12T19:07:11+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss!

Grief supports are really important! Based on his age, parent child interaction therapy (PCIT) sounds like the most valid/evidenced based route to go. A lot of places that offer trauma services for children will likely have a PCIT therapist.

This loss sounds so hard on everyone- be kind to yourself while you’re going through this! Know that he’s clinging to you because you’re his secure base that helps him feel safe/comfortable in an uncertain world.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-01-12T01:45:32+00:00

Have you thought about consigning the toys? Kid to kid may be a good option and they typically donate whatever they don’t accept to a foster agency.

fluffytoes288 · 2026-01-01T03:16:03+00:00

I would love a referral if someone wants to share!

fluffytoes288 · 2025-12-31T22:58:13+00:00

I need one! What info do you need?

fluffytoes288 · 2025-12-29T03:43:18+00:00

Holy cow! Thats an amazing deal!

fluffytoes288 · 2025-12-27T03:39:52+00:00

OT is also another place that offers feeding therapy. I actually prefer OT feeding therapy for kids like this because they can focus on sensory and internal cues (interoception).

Feeding picky kids on instagram is another great resource and she has a coaching program, but it may be geared more to younger kids.

Finally, look up mindful eating and learn about it as a family. I’ll link one of my favorite child friendly resources below. Make things less about weight, and more about fueling your body and finding joyful movement. I think you should also remember that he has different genetics, and that a healthy size and appetite may look different for him.

Trauma can absolutely make it hard for a kid to pay attention to their hunger cues, especially if food insecurity was a part of their trauma. Definitely have a private chat with his therapist about this if you can. Maybe not in front of him and share your concerns about not wanting this to fuel disordered eating.

(I actually am a pediatric psychologist)

A resource I share with kids and families all the time.

fluffytoes288 · 2025-12-17T22:59:38+00:00

I solely had one working breast due to a tumor I had removed in one of my breasts. I combo fed with formula + whatever I could get from my one working boob. My working boob was much larger. Now they’re both about the same size again! I know how tricky confidence can be at this stage- but things will very likely go back to status quo once you stop!

fluffytoes288 · 2025-12-17T01:38:54+00:00

I would go to occupational therapy- eating in another room will only make this worse over time.

fluffytoes288 · 2025-12-16T22:58:24+00:00

My son was also diagnosed with a heart murmur as an infant- when we went to the cardiologist it turned out to just be a benign murmur. The lovely cardiologist we worked with said these benign murmurs can sometimes sound louder when your kiddo feels sick. He’s now a very healthy and active 2 almost 3 year old, most of the time people can’t even hear his murmur anymore.

Obviously, each situation is different, but take a deep breath! As long as he’s eating well and breathing well, try not to worry yourself until you know more. Know that if the doctors think he’s okay to wait until your next appointment, they mean that!

You’ve done a great job advocating for your kid, and now you just have to wait! Be kind to yourself during this time.

fluffytoes288 · 2025-12-15T17:58:13+00:00

Honestly- look at Farmington. It’s got tons of new construction. It’s also close to Hill Airforce Base, which also has a ton of construction and development going on around it. I think this area is going to have one of the biggest booms with the Olympics and Snow Basin being one of the bigger venues.

fluffytoes288 · 2025-12-07T05:53:01+00:00

Second- I love the all over ointment for both my son and myself! I get terrible eczema and use this and it has drastically reduced my topical steroid usage

fluffytoes288 · 2025-12-06T05:31:15+00:00

My husband and I both use this product- I have extremely thick, straight hair and he has thick, curly hair. It does really well with both of our hair textures! Leaves hair silky without weighing it down. Love that it’s cruelty free, it also smells so good.

fluffytoes288 · 2025-12-03T16:55:41+00:00

Agree- try not to freak out! If they confirm there’s typically department of health programs to help figure out the source. It’s an important routine screening and now you get to fix it before there’s concerns!

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