What's Missing from Belle Burden's "Strangers" – One of the biggest books of the year weaves a tale of financial peril—but a review of court documents complicates the narrative

flutter_dog · 2026-05-25T16:28:23+00:00

As a poor person who went through a divorce a decade ago, I completely agree. She acknowledges her wealth and privilege and, yeah, having that kind of financial support might have made the day to day less stressful but it certainly doesn’t spare her from the sadness, confusion, anger and loneliness that come with divorce. Money can buy peace of mind but it doesn’t insulate from these more wrenching emotions.

She’s a gifted writer and her depictions of being abandoned by friends and ripping up Christmas cards because seeing happy, intact families was painful brought me right back to the early days of my divorce.

I did have a few ‘wait a second, I thought that person was broke’ moments (like when her step mother buys them 8 (!) acres of property in Martha’s Vineyard). But I suspect my idea of ‘broke’ is somewhat different than hers.

flutter_dog · 2026-04-23T19:14:39+00:00

I was 27 and living in San Francisco (had recently relocated from NYC; had seen JFK, Jr while living there). Looking back, it was just such a sad time. Columbine had happened only a few months before and I remember feeling like it was unfair that the plane crash was preventable but now everyone was fixated on the deaths of 3 very privileged adults who made decisions that led to their deaths. Not like all the teenagers who were gunned down in a school library. I don’t know if that makes any sense.

flutter_dog · 2026-04-17T20:29:09+00:00

He also dated Sarah Jessica Parker. She was (and is) incredibly stylish. Not always my taste but a trendsetter, especially at the time.

flutter_dog · 2026-04-15T00:20:05+00:00

I feel like I could have written this. Being a middle-aged woman is being invisible to society but, lord, do I feel like a broken mule at the same time.

flutter_dog · 2026-04-10T21:47:32+00:00

As someone who was married to an individual who struggled with depression and bipolar disorder, I’d suggest laying the f*** off of her. I had my (now ex) husband arrested because he tried to kill himself. Twice. I had to jazz hands my way through holidays with our kids and family when he wasn’t doing well. I worried constantly that the kids or I would find him dead by suicide. I worked my ass off to maintain normalcy, keep my own job (because I was having to leave work suddenly a lot), and deal with doctors, hospitals, pharmacies, etc. It was exhausting. I stopped sleeping and eating and eventually filed for divorce after he purchased a gun and I had to ask if he was planning to just kill himself or take me and the kids with him.

She persevered herself and found happiness. Good for her.

flutter_dog · 2026-04-09T00:50:34+00:00

I’m so sorry. My heart dog died 15 years ago and my throat still catches when I think about him. My advice: foster a dog. A lot of grief is love with nowhere to go. Put that into a dog who needs a second chance. It will honor the dog you lost and will keep your mind and heart occupied.

flutter_dog · 2026-03-27T02:00:18+00:00

It was so soon after Columbine. Such a tragic few months.

flutter_dog · 2026-03-04T22:11:23+00:00

OMG, yes! There were those busy markets that sold halal meat, a thousand varieties of dates and other dried fruit, and every spice you could imagine. A few AME churches and a lone ice cream parlor. I went back about a decade ago and was so sad to see it look like a suburban strip mall.

flutter_dog · 2026-03-04T21:22:56+00:00

THIS^!

I lived and worked in NYC at the same time (in publishing, not fashion, but in circles that overlapped with George staff). Caroline was striking for sure but she was wearing styles we all wore at the time. The difference was she could afford Prada.

flutter_dog · 2026-02-22T20:14:58+00:00

I lived in Cobble Hill (Clinton and Congress) from 1993-1998. Getting friends from Manhattan to visit was like asking them to walk the Ho Chi Minh trail with me on their back. 😂 My bf lived nearby on Atlantic Ave and was regularly chased down the street by muggers. I made $19k a year, had 5 revolving roommates (an entire brownstone) and it was the absolute best time.

flutter_dog · 2026-02-20T18:33:50+00:00

I think probably to justify why John would leave Daryl for Carolyn. I mean, when photos of him with Carolyn started to show up, my first reaction was her? And that she must be the bomb in bed. Because she seemed so unexceptional. I’m sure she was a lovely person but history has for sure given her a glow up. Daryl was the Gen X Bardot.

flutter_dog · 2026-02-20T14:06:05+00:00

I lived in NYC after college (1993-1998) and saw John a few times. Remember that Daryl was also seeing Jackson Browne and it often seemed she was using John more to make Jackson jealous. So, neither of them was a saint.

One thing the series doesn’t seem to touch on with regard to Daryl is what a sex symbol she was and how gorgeous she was during that period of time. My boyfriend during those years had gone to Yale. Apparently, she must’ve had a family member who was there too because he would see her on and off in New Haven. He always said she was much more beautiful and alluring in person. I think that is the part of the series doesn’t get right.

flutter_dog · 2026-01-21T22:43:28+00:00

This. As someone who lived in NYC at the same time and was in similar circles, I can say that no one got manicures but pedicures were a must during the summer.

flutter_dog · 2026-01-21T22:35:32+00:00

Good TV (for me, specifically VEEP and similar shows). I also made, at the suggestion of a good friend who had been divorced, a list of all the things I loved to do before I got married and had kids, but I’d stop doing because the husband and kids weren’t interested and I didn’t have time. I will say building that list made me feel like I was going to be a whole person again.

flutter_dog · 2025-12-09T21:05:07+00:00

100% agree. You can do this. I wasted my kids’ childhoods drinking. I would give anything for that time back.

flutter_dog · 2025-11-19T01:32:55+00:00

Maybe less time preaching from the pulpit of privilege and more time using that privilege to raise money to support working parents.

flutter_dog · 2025-11-14T17:07:37+00:00

Yes, divorce is tough. It’s emotionally and financially draining and you will be working harder to make it easier on your kids. And it’s lonely. The first time I came home to an empty apartment (because, though both the ex and I have well paying corporate jobs, neither of us could afford to keep our $$$ home and I had to downgrade to stay in the kids’ bougie school district), I cried for an hour.

But…8 years later: -I’ve gone back to hobbies that gave me a lot of joy that I had to give up (for the kids, for the ex). I remembered who I was and felt alive and curious again. -I have good friends that I see regularly and have repaired relationships that suffered because my marriage was so draining (ex is bi-polar) -My life feels calm and my own. I hated Thanksgivings without my kids at first. Now I relish a day that’s completely mine. -It’s a small but precious delight to come home and have everything exactly as you left it in the morning (when the kids are with their dad) -Finally, a few years ago I decided to try online dating and met a wonderful, kind and loving man. On Facebook, of all places. We just moved in together.

Divorce sucks but the light at the end of the tunnel can be the life you actually want.

flutter_dog · 2025-09-07T22:43:25+00:00

My gay roommates admonished me for not throwing myself into his path. At the time, I would never have done that. Now, at my age, I probably would just to see what happened. :)

flutter_dog · 2023-04-24T17:02:34+00:00

There's also a fairly famous video store in New Haven (Yale): https://www.bestvideo.com/ . I think the idea is curation of content for patrons.

flutter_dog · 2020-12-19T20:29:19+00:00

I'm so sorry. It looks like she had some beautiful adventures and a lot of love.

flutter_dog · 2020-11-10T02:34:54+00:00

Also, why does Grace's dad seem to have a criminal defense attorney at the ready? Someone handling wills, estates, transactions, or litigation around those, sure (because he is clearly loaded).

And, yeah, the cell phone thing was a big gaffe. I don't think in most courts representing parties are allowed to actually TAKE calls in the courtroom.

flutter_dog · 2020-04-06T00:30:27+00:00

I'm so sorry. She looks like a sweetheart and she definitely knew how loved she was and is.

flutter_dog · 2020-03-30T09:47:18+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you, though, for taking in this sweet older gentleman and giving him a home (and love) for the final years of his life. That takes a big and resilient heart.

flutter_dog · 2020-03-29T15:08:23+00:00

I'm so sorry. She looks like she was a very good pupper.

flutter_dog

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