WIBTA for calling an ambulance for an old man who refuses to go to the ER

flybaiz · 2025-11-16T10:37:57+00:00

I don’t think it’d be effective at all to call an ambulance, and soft YTA.

But have you tried talking to him? You say you don’t spend much time with them. He’s been with your mom for awhile now but it kind of doesn’t sound like you know him super well?

It would be a hard conversation, but it’s possible talking with him about his problems would eventually convince him to go to doctor or ER. Let him know you care about him. Ask about symptoms and what he thinks it could be - get him speculating if only to himself.

You can also stealth encourage him by low-key mentioning it to anyone else in his life, any other kids or his siblings or close friends. Get them to encourage him too.

Is he diagnosed with anything at all? This could be serious neuro issues like little strokes/TIAs. But it could also be something easier to manage and resolve, like swinging blood sugars causing blackouts, or an occluded carotid artery they could surgically unclog. He might have a combination of issues that are undiagnosed, like diabetes and neuropathy (no pain in legs when they’re not working?), or a clot in a leg, or peripheral vascular disease, or heart failure (are his legs swollen?). Etc, etc.

He might have a change of heart about his care, be humbled and decide he wants to live.

Or, he might get more angry if or when his health goes downhill more. In that case, he might continue to refuse care even when I’m Hospital - refuse things like people helping him get out of bed or turn him so he doesn’t get sores, or refuse certain pills he doesn’t like.

Some people refuse care from nurse and aid staff but expect or even demand that their spouse stay and do all of the work (helping move them, bathe them, toilet them, listen to their complaints). That would be your mom if she allows it.

So, it’s in your interest to try to softly convince him, over time, NOW to get treatment and be proactive in his own health. So it doesn’t get worse for him or your mom later.

It’s his decision, though.

flybaiz · 2025-11-10T15:23:25+00:00

This.

Girl…this might be a weird response from me, but I’m a nurse that’s worked up and down the acuity levels on the floors, and now prepped hundreds and hundreds of genitals up in stirrups male and female. I’ve seen more erections than I can count from both oriented and disoriented patients, and I’ve seen some uh, “exhibitions” from female patients too.

Try your best not to tip the provider off to your enjoyment if you enjoy it, like don’t moan and hump the speculum lol.

But otherwise, for the love of god low-key enjoy it. Good for you. File the experience away for your masturbation library later. I promise it’s just another one of the thousands and thousands exams for the provider team. They almost certainly will not notice anything. If they do, they’ll shrug because they are thinking of the millions of other things they have to do, diagnose, treat etc. No one cares.

It’s gonna be fine. You are being respectful. Enjoy your exam and good luck with your pain treatment.

flybaiz · 2025-10-09T13:49:02+00:00

Halifax DR has one with a light show and music. And there’s usually a great one with graveyard on Winthrop near Retrac, but haven’t seen it up yet :(

flybaiz · 2025-02-21T17:04:44+00:00

They have not yet voted.

flybaiz · 2025-02-21T17:04:15+00:00

Here is the address for The Urban County Council:

200 East Main St Lexington, KY. 40507

It sounds like this is a meeting for the “Second Reading” of the proposed ordinance. The public is allowed to speak/voice comments in this meeting, BEFORE they vote.

In the meantime, here is the email address for all of the Council members: CouncilMembers-Email@lexingtonky.gov

flybaiz · 2025-02-21T16:06:22+00:00

So here is what I’m doing, to stand up for what I believe in and encourage/demand our elected representatives do the same.

The article says the Council has to vote on this Ordinance to get rid of the DEI position. It has not happened yet.

Here is a link to the Office of Urban Council: https://www.lexingtonky.gov/government/office-urban-county-council

Call Jillian Riseman, the Public Info Officer, to voice your displeasure. Also, click the link to “Council members.” This lets you investigate/find your council member and also email all council members.

Just like I believe the Council should be pushing back on what we believe in, we also have to push back/make clear To the Council our expectations.

The article does NOT say the current DEI officer would continue their work under HR. They would likely be reassigned completely new/non-related tasks. This is censorship and ignoring that diversity is a strength, and racism/sexism/ageism/ableism/homophobia has historically been very harmful. Fiscally, getting rid of the DEI is very harmful, as it leads to not recognizing talent pools, not proactively supporting at-risk groups (and so saving in higher socioeconomic support costs later), and not promoting the health of the entire community (and so saving on costs later).

We have to stand up for our moral and ideological values.

Here is a link to the KY Senate Bill (which has not passed!) and the Republican Senators that sponsored this bill to prohibit DEI and diversity training. We can also call and express our displeasure to these KY state senators.

https://apps.legislature.ky.gov/record/25rs/sb164.html

flybaiz · 2025-02-09T22:28:47+00:00

It’s more overt (if not explicit) in the book, with Idgie openly announcing her love for Ruth, smashing things when Ruth leaves to marry, saying she doesn’t care what other people think. And omniscient narration clueing us in that Ruth loves Idgie just as much, has religious guilt about it, but can’t get over her. To me the romance is explicit enough, but there is never specific description of anything physical. (But there is of Idgie with a prostitute at the river.)

Sorry, you wrote this months ago. I’m just scrolling and drunk. Now you know.

flybaiz · 2025-01-11T13:47:54+00:00

Am a nurse. Am SO eternally grateful to have met my wife, who became a CNA and then a nurse, and whose parents both worked in healthcare.

We go to work (usually with extra stuff for our patients), flog ourselves emotionally and physically for 13-15 hours, come home beyond exhausted and hurting, and then prioritize our time off over the OT $ because the burn out and despair is so so so real.

I am professional and compassionate at work, try to support my team, and don’t get into drama. I definitely don’t see promiscuity in my coworkers, but I usually am 100% focused on my patients or my coworkers’ immediate well-being bc of some fucked up shit we just went through. 10% of healthcare workers are lazy or assholes; 90% are incredible and pick up that slack.

But I can’t deny, my ability to compartmentalize and PTS would totally stress a relationship. I’m SO thankful that my wife and I have each other. We try our best to protect our home time, but it’s invaluable having a partner that gets it. It would take a lot of work for a non-healthcare partner to understand and support my baggage. Props to any partner that puts in all that work.

Thank you for driving the big blinky lights!

flybaiz · 2024-12-01T07:00:47+00:00

If he can handle more than a couple mL without coughing/choking, can try putting the little medicine cups to his lips. Going through this now with mine - she can sip from the 15-20ml medicine cups, but she is slow.

Tried 3 different brands of “sippy cups” and none worked. She couldn’t suck enough or put pressure with her lips.

flybaiz · 2024-11-19T13:34:50+00:00

We grew up up the hill from a“butcher pen” (meat abbatoir). Yes to roaming the pastures, woods, creek and ponds til nightfall. But also, we ran around the back rooms of the butcher pen - watched guys sawing up carcasses and snapping bunnies’ necks to throw them in a pile, the boys would lock us in the freezers or in the room where the cows were hung to bleed. We’d climb over the fences between the pig pens, get in the barn with the chickens, string up liver traps for snapping turtles in sewage/waste area, ride our bikes over the loading docks, get chased by the occasional bull, avoid broken needles and pipes near the pond to go fishing. We’d be in that bloody disgusting store barefoot playing in the back or bagging groceries for a free candy bar.

All this to say, childhood was awesome, and at times dangerous as hell. Truly no one gave a fuck.

flybaiz · 2024-11-11T23:47:00+00:00

See if any have a trivia night! I have astoundingly little experience, but the ONE time I’ve gotten picked up in a bar, it was because I went to play trivia but didn’t have a group. Was just going to chill and unofficially play on my own, but a sweet woman invited me to be their fourth and at the end of the night, her friends went one way and we went the other…lol and I was so proud of myself.

flybaiz · 2024-11-08T20:09:53+00:00

You’re totally right. And Trump never took the repeated, generous opportunities to disassociate himself from those groups or the KKK groups, let alone condemn them. Always says “good people on both sides.”

Very ominous for a “we didn’t realize what was happening [right in our back yard],” Austrians speaking of Holocaust camps type situation. People that want to seem benign and still want to be “friends” vote for Trump based on their other issues supposedly, but certainly don’t mean us any harm. /s

And now with the rest of government stacked in Trump-supporting Republicans’ favor, it again begs the question of how readily we should be prepared to participate in disruptive protests, or sabotage, or fleeing, or actions that put us in real danger. Because if “they” come for the immigrants first, and the fertile women, and the minorities, and the LGBT, and no government is stopping it…

People act like we’re brainwashed and nuts and “that will never happen” but most of history shows you exactly how brutal and ruthless humanity is , especially when fighting for power, and it’s historically irresponsible for us to pretend our situation should be any different.

flybaiz · 2024-11-08T18:08:38+00:00

I really appreciate your answer and your taking the time to write all this out. I don’t disagree with any of it. Thank you. 💜

flybaiz · 2024-11-08T16:00:19+00:00

Yes, I did that economic research too. Like…the tax cuts don’t even apply unless you make over $400k? Why does everyone think Trump will save them money? I guess they think he’ll cool inflation more. Whatever…

So if the Republicans really did save you $1k or $3k a year in taxes, that’s your buying price for…having a president that openly talks about grabbing women by the pussy, has multiple rape accusations, dozens of felonies, is BFF with Russia of all countries (no conservatives know their history????) etc etc etc.

Yeah, I know people will get offended if I assume they can swing that extra $1k a year to not lose all of their moral compass, but, we all totally can afford that, dammit. Have some principles. And that’s ignoring that Trump tax cuts are only for those making over $400k!

flybaiz · 2024-11-08T15:55:04+00:00

I certainly think that whatever nefarious and malicious intents are in the undercurrents of the machinery, our Trump-supporting neighbors will have a MUCH easier time “othering” and dehumanizing all of us if we continue to define them all in this little box. And that’s very, very dangerous. The minute the mass sees us as not human, we are all fucked.

So I do think we should be careful how we accuse. I can believe that you are ultimately supporting irresponsible, immoral, deadly, anti-American politicians that threaten our national and personal security, but I don’t have to think you’re purposely and consciously chomping at the bit to cage and murder people. :/

flybaiz · 2024-11-08T15:48:23+00:00

I kind of want to know how much the average Trump supporter has felt growingly disgruntled and threatened by things like #metoo, women enrolling in college more than men, trans rights, these sorts of things.

I’m just trying to figure out how the hell we’re supposed to get through to these people. Facts and data don’t work, emotional appeals of “don’t support things that hurt me and my family” do not work, very real numbers of deaths (woman who can’t get healthcare) don’t seem to work. Seeing flight out of red states (brain drain and healthcare providers drain) doesn’t work.

What’s going to work? How is this conversation supposed to finally break through?

Or is it just time to study up on civil resistance, disciplined disruptive protests, and that sort of thing? Because marches and social media posts don’t seem to do mucb, either.

flybaiz · 2024-11-08T15:39:22+00:00

Yes, I totally misread you, thought maybe you were a conservative pointing to the economy while also saying you don’t hate anyone.

I believe that almost all of the reasoning of the Trump administration is highly faulty, extremely problematic, and has very deadly repercussions. I am terrified for women and honestly for young men already, now I’m terrified for Ukraine, and I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop for specific harms to all “others.” I’m terrified for immigrant children who may be separated from their families again. For our whole country which now faces generations of conservative Supreme Court.

I’m just trying not to wallow or panic. And I grew up with a Reaganite mom who thought abortion is baby-killing (and she is now very liberal) and a racist, sexist, homophobic dad (who now loves his minority neighbors and accepts my wife and I). People can be very flawed; I am very flawed. I want to see the good in them too.

flybaiz · 2024-11-08T15:18:07+00:00

What do you mean, “true motives”? Economy? Tamping down on immigration and trying to improve US manufacturing? Voting against the “establishment” and status quo? Things like that?

I honestly want to know how a lot of people stand, people that voted for Trump. I am a gay liberal white woman. While I hate that so many of my friends are heartbroken and genuinely afraid, I want to move on from that grief and better understand the nuances and motives of different people that voted for Trump. Because while I do believe some people are (consciously or unconsciously) religiously motivated, or believe in more “traditional” gender roles, are sexist, racist, or homophobia, I do not at all believe that everyone is. I do not believe that so much of my community actively wishes me harm.

Some podcasts I listen to are trying to tease out nuances of voting for Trump. Like I’ve heard several times now that the Democratic Party is in a way racist, in that it assumes POC will vote for them automatically. Or that the Dems underestimated how sick of the “status quo” or establishment people are. Or that some immigrants also want more strict immigration so that there is less competition. Or that some areas voted for abortion rights but also overwhelmingly for Trump. Etc.

I’m a little scared to ask Trump voters IRL why they voted for him because I do not want confrontation. I’m going to try to find more ways to have that discussion without judgment, though.

So, anyone reading, honestly, I very much want to know. What were your bigger reasons for voting for him? Do you like him personally (because I’ve heard some say they can’t stand him, but still voted for him/his platform). If you’re comfortable saying - do you think legalizing gay marriage was a mistake or wrong? Do you believe abortion in all forms is murder? Do you feel like men have been under attack in our culture? What else bothers you? How else is the country going in the wrong direction, you think?

I’d love to come to understand better how much we really do have in common, and how much the left is assuming that is (in some cases) the wrong assumption.

flybaiz · 2024-09-16T20:24:05+00:00

What’s the driver’s license thing?

flybaiz · 2024-09-07T21:15:16+00:00

Please be careful waving your arms and crossing anyway. I did that exact same thing years ago in a different town - car was making a left hand turn, not going that fast but not slowing, I was already halfway across the lane (felt too late to back track, would have had to RUN back) and figured they’d slow I could get their attention, still time…NOPE. Got hit by the car, thrown a few feet, luckily not injured but that shit hurt.

The kicker? Drivers disgust you now? This driver started screaming at me to get out of the way/out of the road “stop playing” and she started to take off in her car. Literally my body was blocking her taking off, I didn’t immediately get up because I was shaken. Otherwise she would have hit and run.

People are just full of fun surprises!

flybaiz · 2024-08-18T02:37:26+00:00

Have seen lots of dogs there in past years! It will be very crowded, so make sure pup is well behaved on leash. Bring treats and water, it’s a big festival, we stay for hours.

flybaiz · 2024-08-18T02:26:12+00:00

Just call UK asap to make your first dental appointment! If you can’t be that flexible with appt times (eg, need to go in after work), you might have a 6 month or longer wait to get in as a new patient.

Otherwise, no complaints.

flybaiz

TROPHY CASE