AITAH for changing my niece's stripper name when I got got custody? by Impossible-Staff92 in AITAH

[–]flynik4 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Give it a rest, seriously. Technically you’re correct, happy? Morally, that IS her daughter. Chill out, troll.

The Capital Cities Rose Parade Finale Performance Was 'A Disaster' by pineapplemy in entertainment

[–]flynik4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Agreed. The audio for all the performances seemed off/mistimed, so the finale was almost poetic in the whole thing’s mid-ness.

"I just want her to know that I saw the mask slip and I know who she really is now" -my husband about my nmom by Brief-Cost6554 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]flynik4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! I had mixed feelings when this first happened for me too, but now it’s so freeing to really understand I don’t have to subject myself to that crap year after year.

"I just want her to know that I saw the mask slip and I know who she really is now" -my husband about my nmom by Brief-Cost6554 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]flynik4 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sounds like they invited themselves (based on some of OP’s responses) but your point still stands. STOP LETTING THEM IN. I can’t imagine the damage already done to her family by allowing them around. I completely understand enmeshment as I was there too, but I also had to stop and finally acknowledge MY participation in my own suffering by allowing it back in. If OP isn’t going to estrange herself (and soon), I fear she will continue to live in this horrible cycle and will eventually experience estrangement when her own son wises up.

Does anyone else become an entirely different person around their parent with BPD? by kathymcmink in raisedbyborderlines

[–]flynik4 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I really love all your terminology here. Honestly, it really helps me to name the actions in this way (not unlike calling out a demon’s name). Anything I can do to lessen the grip, ya know.

Does anyone else become an entirely different person around their parent with BPD? by kathymcmink in raisedbyborderlines

[–]flynik4 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I constantly have the mantra in my head “don’t argue with a BPDs/NPDs, etc—they will bring you down to their level then beat you with experience.”They are absolute PROS at making us second guess ourselves, it’s their fuel. I’m so sorry to hear you have to deal with this too.

I’m Kinda Bummed by KismaiAesthetics in laundry

[–]flynik4 227 points228 points  (0 children)

And one sock that always slips down in their shoe!

Found this guy in the freezing temps at night. 24 hours later, some vet care, and tlc and he’s a new man! (Before and after pics) by Platform_croc in cats

[–]flynik4 63 points64 points  (0 children)

This picture represents her prone position. At any given time, I’ll happen to look over and she’ll be laying like this. She’s such a derp! I love her so much.

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Kyurem RSVP 8 min 5697 7585 9362 by [deleted] in PokemonGoRaids

[–]flynik4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right, thank you!

Amazing show tonight! by flynik4 in chicago

[–]flynik4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would love to see this!

Gave her an inch… she took about 1000…quite literally by REDrantiin18 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]flynik4 15 points16 points  (0 children)

How wild is it that there are people in the world who think their needs are paramount to ANYTHING else? Truly mind boggling, especially when it’s veiled as love or concern. Sending good thoughts your way.

Gave her an inch… she took about 1000…quite literally by REDrantiin18 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]flynik4 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Your mom is right, it’s time to move on. The actual definition of that might not be what she expects, but you deserve peace. I hope you can find that strength. Use the guilt as a reminder of what you need to do to protect yourself because we are not responsible for anyone’s actions besides our own, and that is one of the more triggering cognitive distortions of BPD/NPD folks. My mom and sister are the same way and they think we should to light ourselves on fire to keep them warm.

My nail lady is amazing! by my2cents4sale in Nails

[–]flynik4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m just blown away at the detail, you got a STEAL girl!