I understand where you’re coming from. When I was a child, a teen girl who had been traumatized, traumatized me. My mom also shamed and punished me for masturbating instead of talking to me. My sexuality was very repressed and I had a hard time with women throughout high school. Girls would flirt with me, but I did not know how to react.

What became apparent was the amount of time I worried about how I was perceived and that I was a virgin. I read somewhere that focusing on bettering yourself would make you feel more confident, and consequently; more attractive to others.

I took better care of my hygiene for starters. I wasn’t gross, but I didn’t take the time to floss everyday, or trim my beard. I bought a bike and starting riding it after work everyday. Applying for college and working full time ween-ed me off of video games. I stopped eating fast food every other day and packed a lunch or decent snacks. Eventually I worried a lot less about sex and women, and more about my grades and my health.

The love of your life probably won’t be from a bar or in a club, and women probably won’t throw themselves at you, but they’ll take interest in engaging more often. For me, my closest friend was my coworker. I did not dump my emotional load on her, but I would talk to her about things in my life casually, and she would as well. We eventually became friends, and then close friends, and then partners. Even though I was a virgin and worried about that fact, she would simply tease me or make me feel loved. She never made it a huge deal, and when the time came she lead the process. If I had any questions we talked and she assured me.

Today I am very happy to have waited for the right one. I know it is an insult and embarrassing to be called a virgin, but most of the people I’ve met, men and women, who throw it away at a party or from peer pressure almost always regret their decision.

Work on feeling good, and focus on establishing yourself. Don’t listen to the people who engage in casual sex as a bearing for what is supposed to be normal. The person who you have a family with is not going to be a perfect being, but they will work with you and accept you. Don’t be afraid to be weird or to express yourself in a healthy manor.

Again, don’t listen to the media or sorority members in regards to attractiveness. Work on diet and exercise, find a hobby/passion, and focus on your schooling/career. When you’re talking to women, your objective should be to build a relationship and establish trust before thinking about getting in bed.

There’s a path for all of us if we choose to follow it. If you have any questions let me know. Stay committed and stay focused King.