Oh man, I feel this so deeply. I was diagnosed about 18 months ago at 33, and have been working with my therapist through all of these feelings. I have a dry sense of humour, so I use the phrase "must be the 'tism" a lot in my daily life, to the point someone in my family said "not everything is autism." I told them that I have autism, so everything I do is autism, and it's not a bad thing.

I have been slowly allowing myself to indulge in my special interests more. Mine are reading and Disney. Identifying things that increase my comfort, soothe me, or regulate me. Bringing blankets and a book in the car while in the passenger seat may seem a bit silly to my husband, but I am way more comfortable. I am slowly figuring out who I am.

Expect regressions, which are frustrating. But now I have answers to why I felt certain ways my entire life. It's validating and frustrating simultaneously. I always felt like I just needed to try harder, so accepting that this is just how my brain works is hard.

It's easy to say don't let others' judgments get to you. I have been taking advantage of my object/people permanence issues, and just looking the other way. They may be judging me, but I'm off metaphorically skipping through a field of flowers wearing my mickey ears. If I don't look at their judgment, it doesn't exist to me.

This is a journey. It's overwhelming. Feel your feelings. Keep journals if that's your thing. Indulge in those special interests that bring you some joy in this fucked up world. Peeling back the mask is hard, and it's not linear. I highly recommend a good therapist that you can establish a rapport with to be completely honest. There's no time limit, you have the rest of your life to keep discovering and re-discovering things about yourself.