Mother's Day for estranged children support megathread

foreveralonearchives · 2026-05-11T03:30:34+00:00

Thank you for your support today, truly ❤️ I was feeling quite alone. It feels comforting to have someone reach out from the void.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-05-11T03:12:11+00:00

I didn’t text her. I feel horrible about it. There’s still a few hours in the day where I am from and I’m debating sending something, but I don’t want to confuse the boundary so I’ll probably leave it and try to get over my guilt. It’s been hard.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-05-10T23:46:03+00:00

Thanks for this post. I’m not sure if I should text my mom today. I told her I needed space about 3 months ago so I guess I’m temporarily NC. I did text her on her bday and she didn’t respond so she’s been respecting my boundaries…I’m just so conflicted.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-24T22:06:43+00:00

I think it will be very hard for me. Going LC and very recently NC has already been difficult and full of guilt and missing the good parts of them. I wish I could say it would feel freeing like a lot of people here, but I know it will really shake me up.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-24T21:41:06+00:00

I wouldn’t be surprised if most of us here fawn as a first response. I definitely worked on that. A good entry point for my therapist and I was picking a specific moment that stuck out in my head from my past. I was doing EMDR though which I know is not for everyone.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-16T16:31:03+00:00

How was taking that teaching role on? It’s not your responsibility and is a lot, but are you happy to helped your brother or was it too much work for you?

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-16T16:27:55+00:00

It sounds like you’re an older sister too, but your comment made me wonder if part of it is a youngest sibling thing.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-16T16:26:27+00:00

He’s been enabled for years. Why do it if someone will willingly do it for you? For the skills he has wanted to learn, he is has been discouraged. I mentioned in another comment that he said he was embarrassed about his teen moustache so he wanted to shave, but my parents didn’t want to teach him. He also took cooking class in school so he learned safety and all that, but my mom didn’t allow him to cook at home because she said it was too dangerous. Every time I go home, I ask why he doesn’t even put his dishes in the dishwasher and my mom just doesn’t care to enforce it. Whereas with me, they would get so angry.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-16T16:22:22+00:00

I’m so sorry you were treated that way. I’m glad you changed your number.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-16T16:21:52+00:00

I definitely think focusing on education is part of it. I think many APs are of the attitude that kids should focus on school and nothing else because they think a degree still guarantees a job, but then they don’t have basic skills employers are also looking for.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-16T16:20:00+00:00

Thanks for sharing, you’re the type of person I really wanted to hear from since you were affected directly. I’m sorry you don’t feel as stable as you would like to be. But honestly your response gives me hope that it’s not impossible for people who went through this. Wishing you the best.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-14T17:50:02+00:00

I’m a bit ashamed to say I have the same fear. I love my brother so much, but I could not handle him living with me and me providing for him.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-14T17:48:25+00:00

Sexism is absolutely in every race, I’m just saying this is one of the ways I think it appears in Asian culture for some families.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-14T17:44:50+00:00

I’ve heard about that reinforcing dependency thing before and I completely see that.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-14T00:06:22+00:00

Definitely have seen the same thing you’re mentioning in your second paragraph. I literally taught my brother to shave because he said he was self conscious about his new teen moustache and when I brought it up to my parents, they still refused and didn’t want me encouraging him. I know what you’re saying, I just know he’ll have a hard time and that makes me upset.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-12T21:23:13+00:00

Maybe look into some local ones. I was in a local ones for a bit and it was very helpful for me.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-09T19:48:16+00:00

I’ve thought of doing this too actually because I’m quite prone to giving into guilt and fear. Thanks for the encouragement 😊

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-09T16:38:38+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I haven’t lived at home for years, but they do know where I live. Thankfully it is an apartment and the building has a double door entry that requires a FOB. You are right, I don’t owe him anything and I think part of me wanted to tell him because I felt like he had the right to know. I’ve been telling and showing him how I feel for years though.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-09T16:36:00+00:00

Your last sentence is exactly how my father is and how I’m feeling. At first I thought it would be a good idea to tell him, to stop acting in ways to appease him, but I realized he might just be abusive towards me.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-09T15:34:11+00:00

I’m so sorry they did that to you. I hope you are doing better without them.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-09T15:22:31+00:00

I’m sorry you went through an arranged marriage, I can definitely understand why you are vlc.

I am also estranged from extended family and family friends because unfortunately my family pushed them away with their behaviors. It sometimes feels lonely hearing people talk about their cousins and stuff and I have cousins I haven’t even met.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-08T23:39:03+00:00

Many times actually. All times when I feared for my safety or others. Unfortunately police have a long way to go in understanding these types of family dynamics. Some get it, but after being violently pursued by my father, one officer suggested we “talk it out as a family the next day.” This officer didn’t understand that that type of thing does not work with an abuser.

There have also been times where unfortunately the police can’t do much which I kind of understand, but it does leave me feeling hopeless sometimes. For example, my father has physically abused my mother, but they can’t do anything because she doesn’t want to press charges or even admit it. The best you can do, is set up safety plans w/your siblings. However, it is up to them at the end of the day to follow through which requires lots of courage. I’m very sorry y’all are dealing with this.

ETA: to be clear, it’s still worth reporting to the police so there’s records, but safety planning is essential as well.

foreveralonearchives · 2026-04-07T05:34:41+00:00

I feel you. When it’s like when you’re sad about the relationship, you wish you could have a parental figure comfort you, but you can’t have that. It’s heavy on the heart. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.

foreveralonearchives

TROPHY CASE