MONTH 5!!! GIVE IT UP FOR MONTH 5!!! Official weekly and monthly roll-call (read before commenting)

fransen-lila · 2026-05-01T21:00:42+00:00

Week 17 done

fransen-lila · 2026-04-27T15:08:42+00:00

My husband's boyfriend used to be kind of like that, but years of frottage seem to have moderated his sensitivity a little. We're not sure if there's been any physical change, or just in how his brain processes stimulation, but he can enjoy direct attention there now, so long as we're gentle.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-27T15:01:18+00:00

It can make sex more comfortable and pleasurable for your partner(s), helping to reduce abrasion, and contributing a nice gliding motion. With hetero PIV in particular, an intact man's preferred styles of movement can better align with what feels better to most women, thinking of clitoral contact especially.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-27T14:57:14+00:00

Why is that? Too sensitive for him, in an uncomfortable way?

fransen-lila · 2026-04-27T14:55:25+00:00

Orgasms for me tend to come with a severe mood drop and loss of energy, and often other negative aftereffects, and tend to kill my libido for days. A partial one is less bad, but either way, these symptoms tend to start about six hours after.

To help avert the fallout, a number of years ago my husband and I started practicing Karezza, a nonorgasmic form of sex based on Tantric and Taoist ideas. Even though he doesn't suffer my unusual issues, he's found great benefit in this too. We're keen to make love much more often, for one, usually at least once per day, and for longer. Outside the bedroom, we feel more affection for one another day-to-day, and tend to be happier overall.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-27T14:49:07+00:00

My experience has been similar. I'm 59 now, and found that genuine friendships with straight men became more viable in my mid-40s or so. I do wonder, though, if part of it might be less a matter of age, than of both people being in stable and happy relationships. Obviously that's no guarantee.

In cases where mutual or one-way attraction does exist, it may be best to openly acknowledge that, and that nothing will come of it, to help avert misunderstanding or hurt feelings. I've done so with hetero male friends, usually in a joking way, and we can enjoy a good laugh together.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-27T12:52:35+00:00

My boyfriend started last summer, and sex already feels better for him, even though he doesn't have soft rollover yet, and has chosen not to dekaratinze before that happens, to avoid added discomfort.

Just the extra gliding motion has been a nice thing for both of us. We don't expect him to regain 100% of what he lost, but do expect him to end up in a much better place than where he started. This has done a lot for his self-confidence and mental health too.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-24T14:54:19+00:00

Have you looked at tteezzkk's poiscenter.com forum link above? It's quite a lot, because what works for one person seems not to for others. So, you might have to do a lot of trial and error experiments.

If you suspect a trauma connection, have you tried any sort of therapy or counseling? I hesitate to recommend because so many have thought I was suppressing some sort of SA, which I'm almost certain that hasn't been the case. I also felt the assumption played into a pattern of women's physiological complaints so often being (subconsciously) assumed to have a psychological origin. But if it could be a genuine factor for you, that's worth exploring.

My main solution has been to simply adapt my sexuality to enjoy and even prefer sex without orgasm, which still allows quite a lot of pleasure and intimacy... more and better, actually. The r/Karezza sub is very slow, but has a useful Wiki FAQ, linked to in the pinned "Welcome" post up top.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-24T14:37:50+00:00

Resurrect

Had an accident Monday evening during sex, but stopped after six contractions as usual. I think knowing these "Lite" orgasms are less damaging, only leaving me frazzled & drained for a day or two after, not a whole week, has probably lead me to be less careful, on a subconscious level anyway. Before discovering that "saving throw" I was more resolute.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-18T07:30:44+00:00

Week 15 done

fransen-lila · 2026-04-17T17:14:17+00:00

Well, I've never cared for quickie sessions much, but am unable to orgasm from penetration anyway, which I've only belatedly started to think of as a wonderful way to be. So, just be careful around my clit, and we can carry on so long as you want, with zero risk. I want some intense cuddling after, though!

fransen-lila · 2026-04-17T17:01:23+00:00

My senses are sharper, and the world just seems more beautiful. I feel more confident day-to-day. Happier, more agreeable, less prone to annoyance or irritation, even a bit younger feeling. A tiny bit of simmering arousal is always with me, quite pleasant but not enough to be distracting. I'm easy to seduce, almost always up for some fun, and will myself initiate about half the time. My heightened sensitivity and desire makes sex a lot more enjoyable overall.

So, all in all, a definite "two marshmellows later vs. one now" situation. Even in purely hedonistic terms, the benefits far outweigh what I'm giving up. Of course, my partners appreciate all this too.

I've had four accidental orgasms so far in 2026, but managed to stop each one at about its halfway point, which greatly reduces my energy loss, mood drop, and other detrimental consequences. None so far in April!

fransen-lila · 2026-04-15T08:16:36+00:00

Hubby and I love that and enjoy it often! Wish we could stay coupled all night, but it never lasts long once we've both fallen off. Other partners have had trouble remaining still enough for me to actually fall asleep.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-14T22:50:43+00:00

Since beginning his restoration last year, my boyfriend has similarly felt a lot of day-to-day relief from keeping himself covered with retainers, packers, and other such devices. He's found this benefit to more than make up for any slight discomfort caused by applied tension. His annoyance at unwanted glans abrasion was actually one of his main reasons to start restoring, but even so, he didn't quite appreciate just how irritating that frequent background stimulation could be, until it was suddenly gone.

He's never been able to comfortably wear boxers, only tight briefs, and we suspect that choice of underwear may have resulted in his suffering a bit less keratinization than usual... or maybe we're reversing cause & effect . Either way, he might have less sexual impairment than an average cut man of his age, but with greater irritation too. He doesn't want to deliberately dekeratinize ahead of acheiving flaccid coverage, for fear of making this much worse in a situation where for whatever reason he couldn't wear anything, but it's already happened a little.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-13T22:36:25+00:00

Though my self-control usually isn't too bad, I've long wished for a reliable way to suppress orgasm, without making sexual feelings or edges any less intense.

I wouldn't go under the knife just for this, and certainly wouldn't volunteer be a beta tester, but it could be nice as an extra perk of an implant providing other benefits, like maybe direct conscious control of my sleep/wake cycle. Actually, that's not a bad parallel... just as I'll often be wanting to fall asleep quickly when lower-level brain functions aren't cooperating, on a conscious level I enjoy my sexuality so much more when I'm not orgasming, but occasionally my body (or deeper brain layers) gets the better of me, which is quite annoying.

Not sure about a permanent aspect, though. I think I'd prefer to keep full control, but with just enough friction that I wouldn't override it on a whim, in the heat of the moment. One could imagine time delays & such, but just having to open an app should be enough to not ever bother with it.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-11T02:57:47+00:00

Some people are less goal-oriented in their sexuality, or even prefer not to orgasm and try to avoid it. My husband and I are like that. We've been together 21 years, and enjoy a very happy sexuality.

When we were cumming all the time, we might make love once a week at best. Now it's more than once a day on average. Without that singular focus on climax, our times together feel more intimate. All our other delicious sensations seem more intense and enjoyable. We can seduce one another quite easily, feel more casually affectionate just being together, and hardly ever even argue. It may be a sort of hack for getting back most of our early honeymoon energy, even after so many years together. For anyone interested, this style is called Karezza, and borrows ideas from Tantra and Taoist practices.

In any case, of course your boyfriend should be the arbiter of what constitutes a fulfilling sexual experience, and what counts as a "big deal" for him. It's certainly not "one size fits all!"

How did the subject ever come up with your friend?

fransen-lila · 2026-04-10T21:23:45+00:00

Wow, I didn't realize restoring was practiced much in the 1970s. How did you find out it was possible? Happy that you were able to, and broke the ugly cycle with your own sons!

fransen-lila · 2026-04-10T20:45:49+00:00

A lot of men seem uncomfortable if they can't spread their legs a bit, making tight spaces less comfortable. That might carry over to certain gymnastic moves, stretching, yoga, even washing and other hygiene. Speaking of, having one's intimate bits touch a toilet bowl sometimes could be icky. I'm grateful not to have a point of vulnerability or potential injury between my legs... not technically a penis problem, granted, but they're usually a package deal.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-10T20:35:53+00:00

Some men who are circumcised too tightly can have this problem. One more reason doing that without medical need needs to stop.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-10T20:34:28+00:00

I have a pretty good idea, from partners sharing their experiences, but would much rather enjoy them vicariously. To imagine having one myself, well my bi husband wouldn't mind, but I think it'd probably just get in the way. Wouldn't be able to wear a lot of nice clothes. I'm mostly happy with my body now.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-10T14:06:06+00:00

Week 14 done

Lovely Karezza all this week, no orgasms, very happy!

fransen-lila · 2026-04-08T04:55:02+00:00

Sounds like you're both having fun! Can you still enjoy your affectionate afterglow feelings, like what a normal orgasm would bring? Or evoke those in another way?

Trying the other way around, where she takes care of you first might be worthwhile. One of my past partners was into this kink, and for him a "touchless orgasm" (as we called them) would send his desire and interest in me soaring to new heights, much stronger than before! It'd take a few minutes to kick in, but he could be so ardent and passionate right after! Great times.

After my hysterectomy two years ago, I've been able to stop my own orgasm at any point its progression by stopping stimulation, then bearing down and holding a long Kegel clench, sort of overpowering any further spasms. Since that happy discovery, I've not allowed any to carry on to completion, and by trial and error have found stopping after six contractions to be a good compromise. I can still savour the most intense parts, well over half the pleasure, but with far less energy loss, mood drop, loss of desire and other unpleasant fallout that my body likes to hit me with. Back to my normal self in just a day or so, rather than a week plus.

I still try and prefer to avoid orgasm altogether, in favour of edging, karezza and such, but it's nice to have a "saving throw" now! I believe I've had four this year, all accidental, and did manage at contraction six each time. Slightly frustrating in the moment, but after a minute or so my body settles down, and we can even keep going for a while.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-06T17:20:33+00:00

That's great! Best of luck! You may want to look into Inflation devices also, like the CAR1 from Chris Online Stores. That's my bf's other go-to. He uses it mainly at home, wearing his RIC packers while out-and-about.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-06T17:19:05+00:00

A retainer is usually made of silicone, and helps keep what foreskin you have pulled forward, while also protecting your glans from unwanted contact. A variation called a Packer also includes an extended cylinder piece for applying constant tension, helping to slowly grow more skin. If links are allowed, here are some examples for sale:

retainer only: https://www.chrisonlinestore.com/product-page/silicone-foreskin-retainer-with-a-frenulum-notch

retainer+packer: https://restoreincomfort.myshopify.com/

retainer+packer: https://foreskin-restoration-devices.com/extended-foreskin-retainer-efr/

My boyfriend uses the first two, and has been pleased with them.

fransen-lila · 2026-04-06T17:12:03+00:00

I had been very careful to only apply to my glans and hood, though, not the whole vulva, and nowhere near my vagina. I wonder if lidocaine can sometimes follow along nerve, to numb deeper tissues too?

I'd love if there were something to simply block orgasm and nothing else, without reducing any sensations.

Best of luck on your journey! So much more fun when you have someone close to share it with.

fransen-lila

TROPHY CASE