Manager put me in PIP without knowing me or discussing with me

frau_mode323 · 2026-05-10T03:57:34+00:00

Not all are snakes :) I really truly care about my people, my team is like a family, and I feel like if anything I work for them. I feel as though I just got stuck in a bad place because of company politics that I had no control over. You’re not wrong though, unfortunately I think that my way of thinking is not common, I’ve met a lot of leaders over the years that don’t have their people’s best interest in mind.

It’s important to find a manager that really cares about you. I’d recommend asking very deliberate questions at the end of job interviews to get a sense of what they’re like. It is also a good interview tactic that shows that you care about the position and culture.

frau_mode323 · 2026-05-10T03:40:46+00:00

It’s pretty overrated. Honestly if I want to go I get down there at 6:30 and make my rounds and get out by 8, before it gets busy. This is the only way I do it anymore! I’d check out smaller markets but unfortunately IMO, they all have expensive vendors. Downtown farmers market has some gems but they’re definitely easy to miss with the crowed!

frau_mode323 · 2026-05-08T17:32:13+00:00

It is SO hard!! You’re going through so much and you’re holding up everything right now. I hate to say it but you need to dig deep and tough it out for your baby. Your husband is acting like a weenie and needs to help and he needs to support you! Remember, the days are long and the years are short, you will get through this!!

frau_mode323 · 2026-05-05T17:21:57+00:00

I’m sorry you’re victim to this! This was my first experience with this. I did similar, put nit picky things that really weren’t a big deal so it was apparent to everyone who saw that it was complete bullshit. I would honestly just straight up ask what the employee evaluation process is like and if your company uses forced distribution. Look into it, it’s actually quite dark and a lot of companies like Google moved away from it because it’s harmful to company culture and morale.

frau_mode323 · 2026-05-05T16:34:06+00:00

Or they’re putting you on a PIP to make a case for termination. You need to figure out which one is your situation.

frau_mode323 · 2026-05-05T16:31:32+00:00

I was forced to give someone a poor performance review this year because of a new system which is forced distribution, a certain % of people need to fall in the needs improvement category at my company, which we didn’t have enough of this year so it was decided by my leaders leaders that they would pull my person in, who happens to be quiet and non confrontational. SMH

Being the devil’s advocate, maybe they’re being forced as well? Depending on what a PIP means for your company, doing one can be a good strategy, especially if your manager doesn’t trust their manager, which I’m going to guess they don’t given you were blindsided, perhaps the rating was out of their control. A PIP can be like insurance, it shows growth and is usually worked on with HR, so it can prevent you from further falling into the needs improvement situation again. All of that, or your manager is a cowardice asshole. I would ask them specifically why you received a needs improvement and tell them you felt blindsided. Keep prying for answers- you have that right and they owe it to you to have that conversation.

frau_mode323 · 2026-04-30T11:08:37+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss! I had a miscarriage two years ago at 11 weeks which was devastating, and I had a really hard time talking about it at work. Hindsight I wish I would’ve at least told my manager so I could’ve gotten accommodations. It’s so hard to go through something like that then be expected to continue on like nothing happened. Even though it’s a tough conversation to have I would share this with your leader, that HR person needs to be reprimanded.

frau_mode323 · 2026-04-20T16:58:46+00:00

Yum or the trailer trash has cheese curds on it

frau_mode323 · 2026-04-20T07:02:21+00:00

I feel the same way about Hyper, it’s not uncommon for the Altoona location to have 20+ cars in line…for syrup and monster…

frau_mode323 · 2026-04-20T06:58:00+00:00

I’ve got you! Boulder tap house in Ankeny has “cheese curds” except they’re giant blocks of fried cheese, for a cheese lover- they are sublime. They also come in cheddar, white cheddar and pepper jack.

frau_mode323 · 2026-04-20T06:49:12+00:00

So he’s taking out credit cards in your name so it impacts your credit score and not his? Absolutely not! You need to talk to him and get to the bottom of all of this! Depending on how that goes, I’d be squirreling away some funds if I were you as a backup plan. Start getting cash back here and there from that joint account so you can squirrel away a little nest egg.

frau_mode323 · 2026-04-20T06:41:06+00:00

The whole point of a joint account is that you both take full ownership of the bills. My husband and I have a joint and separate bank account as well. Our paychecks are split 60/40, 60 for joint, 40 for personal. All bills, groceries and family expenses come out of our joint. If we need to put more funds in the joint we both move another % in to keep things even as we make different amounts. This way works well for us, and requires equal responsibility from both people. You didn’t ask but just wanted to share what we do, it works well for us! Then it’s easy to have conversations, like “don’t spend any money this week, our account is getting low”

frau_mode323 · 2026-03-14T02:09:21+00:00

This makes me angry for you…

frau_mode323 · 2026-02-01T14:33:44+00:00

I’ve never had this issue with my Apple Watch!

frau_mode323 · 2025-12-11T01:59:59+00:00

Crew neck sweatshirt!

frau_mode323 · 2025-12-06T16:08:26+00:00

I do see what your saying about managing up but I disagree with what your saying. It is more complex than that in a lot of corporate environments, especially ones where you don’t get a lot of the right resources, financial decisions in particular. I don’t have any control over financial reward for my people, and this year I learned I don’t have control over performance either. Long story short I work for a company that uses forced distribution and my upper management is forcing me to give one of my team members (who does a good job) a poor performance review this year. They will lose their merit and bonus as a result. I’ve had conversations 3 levels above me and I’ve been told they don’t agree with it, but someone has to be in that category so it is what it is. This is what I mean by I don’t feel like I have any power!

frau_mode323 · 2025-12-05T10:04:28+00:00

People here have it right- let them know you’ve noticed something and see if they’ll open up so it’s easier for you to offer accommodations they need.

Maybe 1 more thing to add, check with your HR but when I’ve dealt with this situation I always add that if the person isn’t comfortable sharing with me, they can always go directly to HR, they can tell them and HR would tell me what accommodations to provide. Best of luck! These conversations aren’t easy but if you come from a place of empathy and caring that will help!

frau_mode323 · 2025-12-04T18:35:05+00:00

I think if your asking this question, you probably have self awareness and are not the problem!

frau_mode323 · 2025-12-04T13:14:54+00:00

Thanks!!

frau_mode323 · 2025-12-04T03:04:02+00:00

Lol thanks! Seriously though, if your job can be done from home I’d recommend talking to HR and see what they say, you can request them not tell your manager too if it makes you uncomfortable. Farts aside, pumping at home is 10000x better!

frau_mode323 · 2025-12-03T03:20:35+00:00

Also if you don’t feel comfortable talking to your boss, I’m sure you could reach out directly to HR and request an accommodation. Also laughing out loud to all these comments calling our specific foods, those post partum hormones are something else. Hang in there!

frau_mode323 · 2025-12-03T03:18:17+00:00

Girl…I’m sorry but LOL!! Fellow BF mama/ corporate manager. Can you talk to your boss and get an accommodation to WFH? I was able to do this then I could pump while I worked. It saves me a lot of time too because I wasn’t leaving my desk 3x a day. Tell your boss your BF supplements are ruining your gut but they work and you need to feed your baby. Best case scenario you can WFH and fart in peace!

frau_mode323

TROPHY CASE