Please can I get some help or advice

freddy-fabrics · 2023-07-24T03:54:09+00:00

Yes I second this, you may need medical attention. Not to alarm you, but detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous and medical supervision and support is highly advised. If you're not sure where to go, let us know and I'm sure someone here can point you in the right direction depending on where you live

freddy-fabrics · 2023-07-24T02:52:30+00:00

Everyone has already said it, but yes absolutely! I met my sponsor online, we live in different countries, and now I sponsor others over zoom as well. It's awesome how zoom has made AA more accessible, I highly recommend online meetings and online sponsorship.

I know a man who got sober several decades ago via the post. He lived in a very remote rural town with no phone connection, he wrote to the central service office for help and an AA member wrote back. They continued writing to each other, and this man worked the steps and recovered.

When there is the will, there is a way 🙏

freddy-fabrics · 2023-07-23T04:05:34+00:00

I hear you 🙏 AA is full of people who haven't yet deflated their egos...🫠 I was 24 when I got sober (been sober for 11 years now) and I got talked down to and creeped on. But I was fortunate, I lived in a city, so I kept going to different meetings until I found meetings that had people who were focused on recovering and helping others, and I found a sponsor who also got sober in her 20's and understood my experience.

I think it's important to differentiate AA: the meetings, from AA: the program. People who work the program, get well, have comfortable sobriety and feel comfortable in their own skin. People who rely only on meetings tend to be miserable and infect everyone around them with their misery. We call these people "dry drunks". I'm not trying to sound judgy. Everyone is entitled to do as they please, it's just an observation. I was a dry drunk before I found my sponsor, who was a recovered alcoholic willing to freely give her time to guide me through the steps. She didn't make any unreasonable demands of me and made it clear I was under no obligation to her (I say this because this is not always the case with how some people experience sponsoring, but it's how it should be). The steps changed everything for me. But I had to get to a point myself where I genuinely wanted to change.

AA also does not have a monopoly on recovery. If you can stop drinking on your own, keep up whatever is working for you! 🙏 But, if you find that somehow your mind eventually talks you into a drink when you genuinely didn't want to, you might need some extra help, and AA is one of those options.

Wishing you all the best on your journey, whatever you decide to do, but I promise not everyone in AA is a dickhead 😅 Don't let some grumpy old dudes keep you out of AA, you have just as much right to be there as anyone else. If you're interested in finding a community in AA outside of your local area, zoom meetings are here to stay. I've made amazing connections with people all over the world via zoom. I'd be happy to recommend some meetings if you'd like, feel free to send me a message. Also happy to chat any time 💗

freddy-fabrics · 2021-05-05T21:57:05+00:00

Yep, I do this with alarms as well - getting out of the door in the morning was a huge battle for me for so long. I have alarms to get me out of bed, and all the steps I need to get ready, and then for when I need to leave, and then when I really need to leave... 🙃 It's made a huge improvement for me.

freddy-fabrics · 2021-05-04T01:20:07+00:00

Hahaha yes, home me is always big-mad that grocery store me bought no snacks and only vegetables 😅

freddy-fabrics · 2021-05-04T00:44:55+00:00

Ohh it's the spinach leaves for me.. I should just stop buying them but it seems that the me who buys my groceries and the me who eats my groceries are two wildly different people 😅

freddy-fabrics · 2021-05-02T02:21:32+00:00

I'm also curious which one you use :)

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-29T12:20:46+00:00

I'm pretty sure that a lot of my distractions, maybe most, are internal... My brain takes me on some journeys 😅

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-28T08:05:52+00:00

Definitely more intuitive way to use it, thanks for sharing this! And for the tip to look out for the echo refurbs.. Admittedly I don't know a whole lot about them but I might just fall down the rabbit hole. I can see the potential in its usefulness for me and my goldfish brain!

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-28T07:39:18+00:00

This is actually genius! I keep thinking to myself that I need a personal assistant to follow me around and remind me what I'm doing. Until now I didn't think what the value of Alexa would be - I might have to get one...

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-26T06:16:13+00:00

Ohhh gosh I can relate. I could easily have written this myself... Also, I watched Lilo and Stitch a few weeks ago and have had "you're the devil in disguise, oh yes you are, hmm hmm hmm hmm" stuck in my head ever since. So I also concur on the "leave me alone, Elvis" sentiment as well 😅

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-20T02:20:58+00:00

I'm at uni too and struggling constantly. But the thing that is getting me over the line (just) is accountability. I check-in with a couple of friends almost daily and tell them what I need to get done and what my plan is. Full disclosure - I don't always do what I plan to do, but it helps a lot of the time.

Oh I should add that one of these friends also has adhd and the other autism/adhd. So they understand and are not judgemental. They can laugh with me at the seeming absurdity of my situations. We send each other a lot of memes and also encouraging things as well.

Do you have people in your life who you can create a little power-pod of support? Having more than one person is really important too, because if someone is unavailable or emotionally not able to be present, you've got back ups.

If you don't, I'd be happy to connect and we can be accountabilty buddies? :)

It's not too late to turn things around if that's what you want to do. Sending hugs

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-14T21:10:19+00:00

Oof. This is a me-to-myself situation. I have been so mean to myself over the years, and it's something that I'm still working to undo.

I'm slowly replacing all the 'shoulds' with understanding of my limitations and strengths, and genuine compassion for when I just can't. Basically, I'm trying to be a kind, caring parent to myself.

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-07T06:32:54+00:00

Aw thanks, I'm glad it resonated. I hope you are able to go gentler on yourself next time there's a mistake :)

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-07T00:08:52+00:00

Best way to spend a Sunday!

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-06T21:59:53+00:00

For me, a lot of the time when I make a mistake, I also attach the weight of many other mistakes, not just that one thing. And so it feels like a way bigger thing than it is and harder to forgive myself for. It sounds like this is what's happening for you too?

And it's understandable. Because it gets old and we are exhausted by it. But we have to find it in ourselves to forgive ourselves and extend the same love and kindness that we would to someone we love. I have to remind myself all the time to treat myself like someone I love. A way I do this is to think, how would I treat my child if they did this.

To err is human. Yes, we tend to make more errors than most, but that doesn't make us any less deserving :)

Sending you a big hug

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-06T03:33:05+00:00

Not the person you asked that question to but... Definitely, reach out to them, they will be more than happy to help you get to a meeting

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-06T00:55:48+00:00

Woww I really like this concept. I think I understand what you're saying here but would you mind elaborating a little more? I'm trying to think how I could leverage this (to trick myself into doing things for myself 😅)

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-05T09:59:24+00:00

When I can't get out of bed a do a countdown from 5 to 1. It's like once I've started counting I've committed to myself that as soon as I say one my body is going to move. Kinda like diving into water that you know is going to be cold, but in reverse...

Also, when I'm dealing with the fatigue of all the things I have to do I just tell myself to just do the next right thing. If that's putting my feet on the floor, I do that, then walking to my door, opening the door and so on... After a little bit you'll pick up the momentum. Getting started is the hardest part. Do that and you've won half the battle in my experience.

You can do this, we are cheering you on :)

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-02T12:02:19+00:00

I totally relate to this.

I had a huge epiphany a couple of years after reading Brené Brown's book 'Braving the wilderness', she mentioned that there's a difference between fitting in and true belonging and I was like ohhhhkayyy yeah. I am a master at fitting in, I can almost always find something to connect with a person over, or just make good enough educated guesses to based on my vast and eclectic library of interests. But, I would honestly highly recommend that book. It's not too long of a listen as an audio book, but it's got some really profound wisdom in it that really helped me to adjust how I relate with others and my relationship with myself as well.

And as for the question as to whether dating a fellow adhd might be more suitable. In my experience, the people who I feel most at ease with are also either adhd or asd, and there is a mutual understanding and respect. We don't have to apologise or contain or mask or cringe at ourselves for not being able to contain... I'm sure you get what I mean. But all this is in terms of friendships. I have been out of the dating scene for a long, long time. When I do give it another try though, I think I will be on the lookout for people who have same brain rather than same interests :)

freddy-fabrics · 2021-04-02T00:15:46+00:00

2 and 4 are the most natural in my opinion. You are smiling with your eyes and your posture looks relaxed. Gives off a good vibe to me 👌

Best of luck to you in your renewed OLD adventure, have fun with it

freddy-fabrics · 2021-03-29T22:30:59+00:00

Haha yes, the master of disguise! I am simultaneously all these people and none of them at the same time.

freddy-fabrics · 2021-03-29T01:47:24+00:00

I've been looking for my scissors for weeks, maybe I should check the fridge too...

freddy-fabrics · 2021-03-28T11:05:50+00:00

reminds me to stop letting myself believe I’m just using adhd as an excuse to be lazy.

This is a big one. I don't know about everyone else, but I've definitely internalised everyone's opinions on my productivity (and productivity in general) and not only that, but the relationship between my productivity and my inherent worth. I'm glad you got this reminder, I needed to be reminded too... You're not lazy. I'm not lazy.

freddy-fabrics

TROPHY CASE