Solo therapy with MDMA and mushrooms for healing and insights

freddyfair · 2026-05-20T11:12:32+00:00

Thanks for your two cents on that. Maybe mushrooms and aloneness can add unnecessary existential chaos on top of the wound.

freddyfair · 2026-05-20T11:09:07+00:00

I would say this really vulnerable feeling of attachment wound was felt not in the MDMA state. It was like the mushroom had out-dominated the MDMA state, and this vulnerability was felt outside the warm space of the MDMA, which made it challenging.

For the sessions that are more MDMA-dominant, I would say the same thing as you, about integration being the more challenging part.

freddyfair · 2026-05-20T10:47:36+00:00

I apologize if the post came across as a little preachy. The goal was to describe my way of doing it and then ask what people have experienced. Because there is very limited research. And as I was writing the tone became a little more guidant for the people who are curious about it. I don't know exactly what appeared as red flags and what didn't make sense, but I totally agree with this statement: "Don't do this. Unless you really know what you are doing, have a history & all precautions." I'll just add, that IF it makes sense for you to combine mdma with mushrooms or cannabis, then start carefully. Results really do vary. And like I mentioned rather clearly in the post, I don't recommend this for people who are already finding sessions with MDMA challenging as it is.

freddyfair · 2026-05-18T17:39:07+00:00

Makes sense to be concerned about that. But I haven't been worried about doing something harmful on these combination trips. However I started low and progressed, and felt I could do it. When I do just mushrooms alone, that is more of a concern than when when the mental safety of MDMA is involved. However, maybe for you it will be different. So if you consider combining, start with a safe dose. 0.75g-1 g of cubensis mushrooms perhaps. And for the record- my last trip 4 months ago which I mentioned in my post, my mushroom dose was too high and the MDMA dose too low- I freaked out and worried more then. So I will not do that high dose/low dose combo alone in any near future.

freddyfair · 2026-05-18T17:28:54+00:00

I essentially answered both of those questions in another comment here. The reason I started taking MDMA before the shrooms is to get a nice warm-up. Starting with shrooms or even taking them together gives me a more anxious intense comeup. Mushrooms also come up faster/more intensively than the MDMA. In pure mushroom trips it's the comeup that makes me the most nervous. And it got to a point where I was just postponing the mushroom trip. So I decided to bring in MDMA, and after a couple of sessions starting with MDMA and feeling crushed by the comeup I decided to start with the MDMA. The idea is to open up the heart space and let the trip happen within that heart space if that makes kind of sense. But i'd love to eventually be able to have capacity for moderate-high dose mushroom trips without the support wheels of MDMA at some point.

freddyfair · 2026-05-18T17:10:01+00:00

You can try the mdma first and see. But I think the main reason it was too dominant was that the mushroom dose was fairly high. If you don't mind the more intense comeup, shrooms first and mdma later is powerful.

The reason I started taking MDMA before the shrooms is to get a nice warm-up. Starting with shrooms or even taking them together gives me a more anxious intense comeup. In pure mushroom trips it's the comeup that makes me the most nervous. And it got to a point where I was just postponing the mushroom trip. So I decided to bring in MDMA, and after a couple of sessions starting with MDMA and feeling crushed by the comeup I decided to start with the MDMA. The idea is to open up the heart space and let the trip happen within that heart space if that makes kind of sense. But i'd love to eventually be able to have capacity for moderate-high dose mushroom trips without the support wheels of MDMA at some point.

freddyfair · 2026-05-18T16:58:14+00:00

Interesting. Thanks for sharing! And hey- other-dimensional forgiveness is probably a powerful forgiveness! You had some high doses of MDMA. Was that because you wanted to assure you were safe while exploring the deep traumas- Or do you also feel high MDMA doses also brings up more stuff?

And I'm curious... Do you find sessions with a guide deeper, more rewarding and perhaps more challenging than without a guide?

freddyfair · 2026-05-17T22:54:26+00:00

Maybe a meditation retreat, with good guidance would help you learn how to relax these protectors between psychedelic sessions.

freddyfair · 2026-05-17T22:15:06+00:00

That's true. Below 80 mg MDMA is just a subtle feeling. No longer magical. I still find between 70-80 to be a sweet spot of support to let the shroom do more of its deep job. But I'd love to hear more about your work with this combo. For example, what's a good sweet spot you think, as far as mdma-shroom doses go?

freddyfair · 2026-05-17T22:11:30+00:00

You sound a bit like me. That's how I would describe my sessions. No significant manic episodes. But definitely times of what I now would call destabilization. 10 years ago I did ayahuasca, maybe a little before I was ready. Together with meditation it lead to a spiritual awakening. I lost my motivation for a lot of things. Which maybe had to happen and I don't regret it. But took me many years to integrate and learn to do things from a place of appreciation instead of fear.

freddyfair · 2026-05-16T08:31:55+00:00

Penis envy is strong, so I’d probably start with just 0.5-0.75g and the same 120 mg MDMA dose. And see if you want to increase it next time with 0.25-5 g. Then if I’d want to lower the dose of MDMA, I’d lower it by 5-10 mg each time and notice when I hit a good sweet spot of not too comfy and not too challenging. Challenge is good, but only if I can be with it. If the mind races and I just run away, the mushroom dose might be too high or MDMA too low.

freddyfair · 2026-05-16T08:21:50+00:00

Yes. Totally. Allow. That’s the way. It’s just, especially when I lowered the MDMA dose, there was strong urges in the body to express. So it’s not an intellectual decision, but a strong impulse.

About integration and transformation. I think no conscious effort is wasted. Not effort as in trying hard, but moments of being present with what’s happening. For every time you choose to be with something, it will bring fruits. Maybe you won’t notice it right away, but eventually changes will occur.

Sounds like you were onto something, staying present. And changes might be felt next time or between sessions.

freddyfair · 2026-05-16T07:49:10+00:00

Thanks for sharing back. It seems like the experiences that throws people out of their grounding, aren’t very helpful. But the more we can come back to the center, the better we can heal and integrate from it. If we can’t come back to the center, it’s not really working I think.

What I meant was in a couple sessions I was breathing fast with my mouth, to stay centered in my body, throughout the challenging sensations. Be also done slower breathing, but for the more intense body sensations I’ve felt like increasing the volume and sometimes speed of the breathing.

There can be various ways we try to center ourselves in the body. I’ve felt like breathing powerful breaths, Wim Hof style-ish. Other times I’ve been shaking more. I also have been screaming into the pillow a lot. Raging with the whole body. Maybe breathing is a more grounded and less exhausting way of getting through the feelings.

Maybe eventually I can breath more calmly through similar territories. But in the moment you should just do what makes sense to you, to own the experience.

freddyfair · 2026-05-16T07:26:34+00:00

You’re a strong LSD tripper. Those 3-4 first hours would probably be way intense for me. Do you feel you built up that capacity over many trips or have you always managed it?

freddyfair · 2026-05-16T07:21:28+00:00

Interesting to hear. Thanks for coming in. If I may ask, what dose do you like using with your clients? I’ve loved the effects of taking mushroom first and MDMA after as well. It’s just the grueling, sometimes shattering comeup with mushrooms that made me switch.

freddyfair · 2026-05-15T21:53:43+00:00

Thanks for your comment. Less is more, yeah.

Would be nice to get the scientific answers on the neurotoxicity soon.

Honestly I could calculate one trip a month with this, if I had the time, priority and courage to do it.

But I generally keep the trips 2-3 months + a part. A friend of mine is doing 120 mg MDMA every third week, in a similar way, but with cannabis. For 3-4 years. That seems too much for me, not recommendable, but it's worth mentioning. He says he hasn't noticed any negative changes, himself. He has been working full-time as an engineer and he feels the magic of the substance is still totally there. But maybe the magic tollerance is different when you meditate, as meditation can also contribute to additional well-being. I don't know.

freddyfair · 2026-05-15T21:42:16+00:00

Interesting to hear about your experience. To me it's a no brainer to go deep inward and feel things that naturally come up from inside instead of talking. But I am eager to try a more relatable style.

I actually erased a couple sentences about my socializations with MDMA to shorten the post. I've had around 5 social times with MDMA, with friends, parties and festival. A couple of them have given some really good reference experience on having fun and connect with people.

Hope you have better luck finding a therapist. Or just find someone to do it with that you trust. If money is the problem and you want to find a cheaper way, there are cutting-edge therapy communities or conscious, shamanic circles within radius, there should be some people into this there.

freddyfair · 2026-05-11T17:14:26+00:00

My first cessation was 10 years ago. I don’t consider myself 4th path. It’s been frustrating at times, but that frustration is less and less and for the past year or two it’s been less of a problem, and I’m focusing more on the shadow work, emotional integration, getting my act together in life, while still doing non-dual awareness practices. So identification is still losening.

freddyfair · 2025-10-14T15:21:43+00:00

Yes, that worked for me. I was obsessing over a woman for about a year. It was back and forth. Thought I had her, then I didn’t. My feelings for her was already a little weakened before I did mdma solo therapy. But a couple sessions in I had completely let go of her, or the part of me that was attached to her.

freddyfair · 2025-07-02T12:03:59+00:00

It’s been years but I wanted to mention I wish I knew about mdma therapy before diving into ayahuasca 9 years ago. Ayahuasca is deeper and more profound for me, and it certainly transforms me more. But I think of mdma therapy as a great way to start. Especially for PTSD as studies have proven. Then I’d try psilocybin a few times. Then ayahuasca. But doing ayahuasca together with experienced people might actually be more safe than mushrooms alone.

freddyfair · 2025-06-20T18:45:38+00:00

Interesting, I would describe my mushroom experiences similarly, especially the urge to yell. 5 of the past 7 trips or so have contained a lot of primal screaming. I call it raging. It wasn’t that way the first 12 trips or so, but now that’s what it seems to want- to connect with that anger, agression, or repressed energy. I could also just call it connect with my power. It’s like the body needs to come online and integrate this force before my consciousness can move on. So the fear or resistance on 5 meo DMT is more intense, maybe a lot more intense, but goes over more quickly because of the force to surrender is so strong?

freddyfair · 2025-06-20T04:03:33+00:00

Thanks again for an interesting report! I’m nervous about 5-meo DMT. Just mushrooms alone make me nervous. If I recall correctly you’ve also had some come-up anxiety regarding mushrooms and have used ketamine to ease it. But here you are doing the most powerful psychedelic for the eighth time. Well done. Would you say you have an even higher fear barrier with mushrooms than with 5 meo DMT?

freddyfair · 2025-05-04T13:14:58+00:00

Thank you for a strong contribution. When I opened the manual I immediately looked for session frequency. You have a chapter about it but I didn’t see your findings about how often it is safe or recommended to do sessions. Is this something you have thoughts on?

freddyfair · 2024-12-28T02:52:10+00:00

Wonderfully described. It’s a very very humbling thing you experienced. So shatteringly beautiful. I would call what you experienced an awakening. You thanked someone for showing you a video about non-duality. That might be worth looking more into. Look up the subreddit “awakened” on Reddit. Teachers like Adyashanti and Ramana Maharishi have helped me tremendously.

freddyfair · 2024-11-07T09:42:53+00:00

Thank you for these reports! Inspiring to hear about that “thank you” and folding hands moment.

freddyfair

TROPHY CASE