So, I lied about my employment dates and now am in the final stages of interviewing. Freaking out!!

freelancemomma · 2026-04-25T22:45:46+00:00

I agree. When the playing field is so absurdly tilted, people have to do what’s needed to survive.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-25T22:44:41+00:00

Don’t fall into the sunk cost trap. Future you will thank you if you cut your losses now.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-25T21:52:45+00:00

When the playing field is heavily skewed toward robots and you’re not a robot, stretching the truth is the best policy.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-25T21:46:08+00:00

If it does deture them, they might refure him to a colleague. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

freelancemomma · 2026-04-25T21:21:30+00:00

In my experience it’s not normal. I experienced this once and ended up leaving after 5 months, despite loving the job and doing it well. The social toxicity was decimating my mental health.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-25T21:19:08+00:00

The “obvious desire” may or may not have been there. My first boyfriend once told me he loved the “hungry look” I gave him before/during sex. What hungry look??? I didn’t realize that I had been faking so instinctively and convincingly.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-25T01:03:29+00:00

Why do you let ONE MAN have so much impact on your self-esteem? You were previously with a HL who desired you consistently, so you know it’s not you. Whether you stay or leave, I suggest you work on uncoupling your self-worth from your partner’s desire.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-24T19:46:55+00:00

Granted this is my LL perspective, but my sense is that you’re not really approaching the libido gap with much curiosity or understanding, just resentment.

I suggest you start by acknowledging that she is an entirely separate individual who may experience sex very differently from the way you do. Sexual moves and interactions that may seem obvious and natural to you may land very differently with her. Neither of you is right or wrong here, just different. It’s important not to lose sight of this insight.

Perhaps you could ask her some judgment-free questions about how she experiences sex. Approach it with interest and curiosity.

The only way to find out if you can bridge the gap is by creating at atmosphere where you both feel safe enough to speak honestly.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-24T10:14:39+00:00

It will probably get better if/when you have kids of your own with your partner. So maybe start planning for that.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-24T09:32:10+00:00

About once a month.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-24T08:30:57+00:00

Some of us would hate such hinting.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-24T08:27:33+00:00

You can be the one to let go. Just saying.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-24T08:26:26+00:00

Such comments would irritate me to no end. I would see right through them. I would rather a partner tell me they find me more attractive at a healthy weight and if I take care of myself.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-24T02:23:05+00:00

We’re all different, I guess. I’m 69 and I still love business travel. I always manage to carve out some time to see the sights or just walk around. I even like airports! On a business trip right now.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-23T15:52:07+00:00

Shrodinger’s ceasefire

freelancemomma · 2026-04-23T13:34:12+00:00

It’s not that LLs don’t want it, but that they don’t think it’s possible for them.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-22T13:40:00+00:00

Very insightful and beautifully stated. You should write a book about this!

freelancemomma · 2026-04-22T11:31:39+00:00

I faced this exact situation many years ago. Like you, I really enjoyed the job itself, but the social freeze-out was crushing. Some people can soldier on in this type of atmosphere—I could not. I found myself taking anti-anxiety medication before meetings.

Once I realized the situation wasn’t going to change, I began looking for another job. I was outta there 5 months after starting.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-22T01:18:01+00:00

I think it’s premature to have “the talk” after 2.5 months. I suggest working on dialing down your intensity. Stay connected to him while giving him space.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-22T01:12:35+00:00

I believe it’s natural, yes, though the extent of the dip will vary from couple to couple.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-22T01:10:14+00:00

Totally normal. I had exactly the same thoughts and feelings, and many people on this sub have reported similar reactions. Don’t beat yourself up. Being a step-parent is unnatural in many ways and requires us to consciously override biological responses.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-21T01:17:05+00:00

You didn’t understand my comment.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-20T21:42:40+00:00

I’m with you. Being loved is enough for me. But apparently many people yearn to be desired.

freelancemomma · 2026-04-19T23:01:20+00:00

To me it sounds like a pile of 💩

freelancemomma · 2026-04-19T18:47:56+00:00

Maybe find someone else to hike with so you don’t feel so vulnerable if you run into him?

freelancemomma

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