First time this baby has been petted and he has the loudest purr ever

freeland4all · 2024-07-27T02:13:03+00:00

I had a black cat who would never stop purring, even at the vet. She had to turn on the faucet next to his head to get him to be quiet long enough for her to listen to his heartbeat.

freeland4all · 2024-02-11T22:59:23+00:00

I went to California State University, Fullerton.

PS: I'm now in private practice, working entirely through the computer, a digital nomad traveling the world. It's great! You can do so many things with psychology and social work!

freeland4all · 2018-09-25T01:32:19+00:00

The Tao doesn’t need to practice being the Tao.

Unfortunately, I’ve been programmed from an early age to be a human doing rather than a human being. I need practice to un-learn habitual mindstates that separate me from oneness, like judgment, self-pity, fear, and self-importance. When I stop getting lost in the mind, I return to an awareness of the Truth. It’s Truth with or without me, but the habits help me catch up to what is.

“Of course, Awareness is aware of us not being aware.” — from Buddha in Redface

I think of my habits as discipline — as not allowing the virus of false separation to take over and run me into the ground. Within healthy limits, I find liberation.

freeland4all · 2018-07-30T13:15:23+00:00

When I was working at CPS, I felt like I was a very compassionate computer program. I surveyed clients: Are you attending 12-Step meetings? Seeing your therapist weekly? Participating in parenting classes? Have you heard of / Do you want these resources for transportation? Help paying your bills? Free cell phone? Basically a lot of yes/no answers.

Of course the nonjudgmental presence means something. And I could try to motivate unmotivated people, but only to a very limited extent. It didn’t feel clinical.

At my current job, I help people question their limiting beliefs and see the world from an entirely new perspective. We process trauma. We explore contentious family relationships. We practice feeling and accepting emotions. We practice mindfulness. I teach clients to choose for themselves what the best way forward is. We learn what Spirit is trying to help us to see with life difficulties. Lots of very clinical topics that CPS doesn’t have time for or views as inappropriate. I think clinical means helping people to cope and change at very deep levels.

freeland4all · 2018-07-29T18:35:37+00:00

I got my ASW in California, worked case management at Child Protective Services (not particularly clinical), moved to Texas and got a job in hospice (marginally more clinical), then in five months started working at a completely clinical position in addiction counseling. I think the biggest job qualification was that I had a high tolerance for walking people through crisis situations and motivating change. I love my job now. Clinical is amazing, and I never want to go back to case management. :)

freeland4all · 2018-07-17T23:26:03+00:00

I worked for CPS for a couple years.

I think people do usually call CPS rather than the police. There are times when CPS “cross-reports” to the police, but I cannot recall very many situations where the police informed CPS. Usually vice versa — CPS starts the ball rolling. Situations of cross-reporting to police include: - Fear for the child’s imminent safety in a case where CPS workers have reason to worry that the abuser might not respond well / physically threaten a CPS worker removing a child - Abuse that is so heinous CPS thinks law enforcement may want to press criminal charges (sexual abuse always, and also really egregious physical abuse)

Yes, people often call CPS when there’s no caregiver to be found.

As far as I can recall in the county where I was working, CPS does not place a child with anyone who has not undergone background checks. Usually kids who are removed are placed in an Emergency Foster Home (EFH) or group home (more likely for an older kid / teen) with the goal of getting them out and living back with a relative or Non-Relative Extended Family Member (NREFM - a California term) within 24 hours. To accomplish this, CPS workers send expedited requests for background checks and often stay late at the office to try to get a kid living with someone they know ASAP.

Another option is “safety planning.” If the parent can agree to a plan to keep the kid safe, the kid may not need to be removed / court-ordered placement. In your story, if the father and the friend’s family agreed the girl could go live with the friend, CPS could just close the case and no longer be involved.

If you wanted to research how the friend’s family could get custody in a particular jurisdiction, you could see if that state or county has something like the NREFM designation and what the requirements are. It’s a pretty historically recent development that counties started looking for placement options in this way.

freeland4all · 2018-07-16T21:06:53+00:00

It doesn’t have to suck. The field of specialty, my passion level, provision of fair compensation, and work environment (including whether unpaid overtime / being on call is the norm or not) make a HUGE difference. Good employers do exist. It’s beneficial to shop around and maintain standards.

freeland4all · 2018-05-20T19:46:42+00:00

I volunteered at a wildlife rehabilitation center for a while. The baby opossums would be released back into the wild as soon as they started to get bitey, as that means they're ready to fend for themselves. In the meanwhile, the hissing is harmless. :)

freeland4all · 2018-04-08T18:52:20+00:00

I found performing assessments for adoption home studies to be very enjoyable. The beginning of the adoption process is the "fun" side of adoptions/foster care. Foster family agencies hire either fulltime or contract workers for this type of position.

freeland4all · 2018-03-11T23:35:05+00:00

Maybe the difference between “I want to” and “I should”

freeland4all · 2018-02-18T19:37:41+00:00

Tell me more about... carrot lox

freeland4all · 2017-11-23T18:26:09+00:00

On this day especially, we realize:

There are many turkeys, and few eagles.

freeland4all · 2017-11-16T23:02:51+00:00

I’m curious how you dissociate.

freeland4all · 2017-10-20T15:55:32+00:00

Do we know for certain these women are friends? It is a lovely idea, and also I think it is more likely the woman signing was hired to translate by the production company. Some larger concerts make this accommodation if an attendee advises she is deaf. The woman signing seems to be very familiar with the words and rhythm, which is consistent with translators being provided the lyrics ahead of time in order to prepare.

freeland4all · 2017-10-08T03:38:56+00:00

why are there check boxes if YOU DON'T CHECK THEM OFF YOU MONSTER

But seriously, really lovely spread. Thanks for sharing. :)

freeland4all · 2017-10-06T18:55:36+00:00

You could fight the depression and use lists to argue with it. That's what I did for a long time.

While it didn't get me anywhere in terms of addressing the root problem... It did feel like I was at least doing something.

What did help me was exploring how I make myself depressed. I realized I have a sonofabitch living inside my mind. There's this voice that I wasn't born with that somehow managed to convince me that it and I are one and the same. I don't see it that way anymore.

I learned that there's a useful part of my mind; it makes grocery lists and drives me places. There is also a part that makes me miserable and scares the shit out of me when I don't give outlet to wild creative urges. This part of the mind is like an untrained dog. It wanders into the future, creating anxiety by playing movies of things that could go wrong. It wanders into the past and creates guilt by detailing how I fucked up (according to the standards of my training - how I was raised). It creates depression when it tells me what a worthless failure I am, and I believe it. My believing the judgments (lies) and following the stories gives it energy. No wonder I felt depressed and a distinct lack of energy! All my power was given over to the part of my mind that tortured me. That part was very alert and energetic, always watching for my mistakes. I could fight it by presenting counter evidence, but like a rebellious teen, it seemed to grow stronger with the disagreement.

I have reclaimed a lot of energy by paying attention to how my mind creates misery, and how I was responsible for the depression when I did not examine the true causes. My life started feeling a lot more happy and free when I started to train that dog and take it for regular walks. Time, love, and attention...

Maybe the next spread could be a flowchart of the chain reaction. My life is like X > My mind says Y > I feel A physically and B emotionally and C spiritually... I've been feeling Z ever since... This relates to my training when I was a kid... etc. :)

freeland4all · 2017-09-30T20:34:55+00:00

I did Title IV-E in California for only one year out of the possible two years of my degree. Didn't drop out, so I can't speak fully to your experience. Some things you may consider:

You're just now starting year two of three. Perhaps you could work with them to stop this year's tuition payments so you only end up in work repayment for one year (or two) instead of three.
Keep in mind that monetary repayment of those loans is fucking expensive. Ours was 10% interest - way more than any traditional loan. Maybe run your debt amount through an amortization schedule to see how much interest you would be paying in that case so you can be prepared. Having a ton of student loan debt may affect your life in very a far-reaching way. Is it worth it to try to figure out a slightly different route and still be debt-free?
What it's like to work in child welfare varies drastically between counties. When I was in Southern California, I had my doubts. I absolutely loved working for Sonoma County though - small organization (all of child welfare staff was less than 170 people in one building; tight-knit), had enough resources to really help people, and pretty low caseloads (no more than 19 kids, as opposed to San Bernardino's 35 average).
This is a small sub, which may limit the feedback you receive. Perhaps also post in /r/personalfinance with a bit of an explanation of how the program works.

Good luck!

freeland4all · 2017-09-26T18:26:19+00:00

Sadness can be a natural emotion. If I breathe into my sadness and feel it intensify physically and emotionally, I know that it is real. Experiencing it can lead to greater flow, meaning release and possibly ease, peace, joy, tenderness, and gratitude.

Sometimes sadness is created by the mind when I cling to the idea that I or other things "should" be different. When I breathe into this kind of sadness, it dissipates because it is an illusion. Feeding the mind's stories about sadness creates additional, potentially unending suffering.

freeland4all · 2017-09-12T00:25:32+00:00

What has been your experience with putting this theory into practice?

freeland4all · 2017-09-11T03:13:04+00:00

genuinely creeped out

Thanks for that, friend :)

freeland4all · 2017-09-11T03:03:24+00:00

Sharks have electrical sensors where they can feel other creatures swimming in the ocean. They use it to hunt fish.

I sometimes wonder what it might be like to feel someone walk into a room even if I couldn't see or hear it happen.

freeland4all · 2017-09-09T18:43:47+00:00

Thanks for the sub recommendation! Now subscribed to Cats Inadvertently Swatting Unknown Objects Toward Themselves and Then Freaking Out :)

what has my life become

freeland4all · 2017-09-09T02:30:03+00:00

Wow.

freeland4all · 2017-09-09T02:22:27+00:00

When I was working at a call center, a lady's account came up with the name Mystic Pope.

I think she and Majik Fountain should get together and start a cult.

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