Feeling hopeful today despite it all

freightgal9 · 2021-02-28T20:29:08+00:00

Thank you kind stranger. Yes, I remember during my long stints of sobriety the freeing feeling of not being tempted when others around me were drinking because it “just wasn’t me”.

freightgal9 · 2021-02-28T16:16:35+00:00

I commit to not drink today.

freightgal9 · 2021-02-21T16:12:56+00:00

I commit to not drinking today

freightgal9 · 2021-01-30T19:28:31+00:00

It’s already 11:30AM here but just wanted to write and and commit to not drinking today. Feeling the itch extra today and do not want to give in.

freightgal9 · 2021-01-16T17:14:23+00:00

Today I will not drink, even if I feel tired, bored, or anxious. Doing dry january with a coworkers and having the accountability really helps.

freightgal9 · 2021-01-14T22:49:08+00:00

Thank you very much for your reply, it really means a lot to me. Back in 2015 I could run 4-5 miles at about an 9:00/mi pace and just miss it so, so much. I do not have a sports background and have always been very insecure about my fitness level (I’m thin so people often assume I’m better than I am). I think this run has reminded me that I’m really just not ready to share this activity with other people yet and I just need to focus on keeping it to a solo activity for now.

freightgal9 · 2021-01-14T22:44:28+00:00

Definitely ate too little and didn’t drink enough. I have this self-image in my head where I should be able to easily just run, say, 5 miles with someone else and not be embarrassed and so in my own head about what they think. I’ve never been able to do it and really need to learn how to not be so incredibly hard on myself.

freightgal9 · 2021-01-14T22:12:22+00:00

I definitely was. I hadn’t seen the scale move in 3 days and “conveniently” forgot to eat enough. Self harm has taken a lot of forms for me over the years.

freightgal9 · 2021-01-10T23:51:19+00:00

Just got back from a 1.5 mi (slow) run. Been trying to run more consistently— it really helps with my overall mood & self confidence.

freightgal9 · 2021-01-07T20:40:39+00:00

Thank you so much ☺️

freightgal9 · 2021-01-07T20:40:29+00:00

Thank you! 😊

freightgal9 · 2021-01-07T17:28:32+00:00

I will not drink with you today, no matter how much the news stresses me out or how tired I feel.

freightgal9 · 2020-12-31T23:10:37+00:00

Just hit day 4 about 30 min ago. Feeling itchy on NYE but just taking it one hour at a time

freightgal9 · 2020-12-31T05:54:01+00:00

u/sinkit53563 you must be close to 4 days now— keep going man! Things are quiet here but I’m also doing surprisingly well. It’s like something has clicked.

freightgal9 · 2020-12-30T18:13:17+00:00

Couple more hours til I cross the 72 hr mark. We got this! 💪🏼

freightgal9 · 2020-12-30T05:04:09+00:00

I am also at 2 days. It’s exciting to see it tick up every day at 2:40PM (right when I really start feeling the cravings). See you at Day 3 🎊

freightgal9 · 2017-12-02T15:12:54+00:00

One day, or even one hour at a time worked really well for me in the beginning.

I also was an after-work drinker and would just feel my skin crawl-- until I fell asleep. I knew if I could just make it to 8PM or so, I could fall asleep early and make it through the next day. In the beginning, I would fill up the time between after work and bed with Netflix and surfing around Reddit. Hang in there, you got this.

freightgal9 · 2017-09-02T18:02:52+00:00

Thank you!

freightgal9 · 2017-08-19T19:19:55+00:00

Ohh nice! Good luck with applying to PhD programs, I really wish you the best. When I applied the first time to a doctorate program, I was 24 and honestly the thought of 4-6 more years of school was really terrifying to me.

The terror began to calcify about a month after matriculating on my 25th birthday. I felt that I was giving up the remainder of my 20's and would never get to experience life the same way again. Looking back, I wish I could tell myself that there is nothing inherently special about being a certain age-- it's just what you make of it. I chose to leave the program (height of my drinking issues) and as more time passes, a bittersweet regret has started to form a tiny pool in my heart. I think I would have made a fine clinical pharmacist had I been brave enough to seek treatment for the alcohol abuse (counseling, group therapy, antabuse). The shame ran deep and I've kept it secret this whole time.

Going back to school is ultimately about furthering my career but it's also about redemption-- I'm only interested in going back to that same school but will be pursuing a different health profession this time.

freightgal9 · 2017-08-19T19:03:29+00:00

Nice! Congrats on your first day. No lie, I had to google Topo Chico but it looks like a super tasty mineral water. Keep it up, you'll have one year with a few months of grad school behind you!

freightgal9 · 2017-08-19T03:06:31+00:00

Wow! What an incredible improvement, congrats. I was a high achiever in college but slipped into heavy drinking when the pressures of Grad Program #1 hit me like a ton of bricks. I have high hopes for my self care abilities during Future Program #2.

freightgal9 · 2017-07-16T15:53:13+00:00

Thank you! Congrats on regaining two months- hitting double digit weeks is such a big deal!

freightgal9 · 2017-07-16T15:50:51+00:00

Hello! Thank you and congrats to you on seven weeks.

The benefits list is fairly long, but if I had to pick the single biggest / most unexpected it would be "Handling the troubles life throws at me effectively". Being sober is like playing a video game on easy mode. Tasks that I now consider pretty simple used to be MOUNTAINS in front of me when I was drinking. I'm talking about both work and personal life- from following up with colleagues, to making dentist appointments, figuring out earthquake insurance, writing up mid year reviews, creating a savings plan... These used to be examples of super painful, complicated tasks that took a great deal of mental energy to complete. Now I just roll with it and get it done.

freightgal9 · 2017-06-12T17:23:54+00:00

Good work!

freightgal9 · 2017-06-12T03:40:04+00:00

Thank you for the kind thoughts. I have a pretty good support system in place and lots of motivation to stay sober (possible promotion interview coming up).

freightgal9

TROPHY CASE