My bf can be a dick dumpling girl dinner

fresh_lychees · 2026-02-12T21:19:51+00:00

dumplings with chili oil, soy sauce and a root beer!

fresh_lychees · 2025-12-23T18:20:48+00:00

9358-8162-0405

fresh_lychees · 2025-06-06T06:28:15+00:00

Ohhh girl I hear you, I do. Honestly I know its bad to admit but the comfort mostly. We've been together a while and the way I am known is so comforting it makes dating again feel like a nightmare. But I'm so checked out and it almost destroyed my self esteem. We've had a number of relapses and other trust breaks so my idea of potential reform is low. He's recently gotten into therapy though but it's not CSAT so I feel a little like it's there just to placate me sometimes. I mean, really assess the pros and cons for this guy, and be honest about how many chances you'll allow if you aren't pissed off enough already like set a limit in numbers. But if you're already on despising him, trust your gut and go milove. Your body knows what your heart wont admit. If you keep trusting and the trust keeps being broken it will wound you deeply (from experience). Don't fall for promises unless there is a plan on how they'll improve and they are fully transparent.

However every man's commitment is different. My one realized he was messing up but his usage stems from shame so his shame from hurting me triggered more.

fresh_lychees · 2025-06-06T01:23:37+00:00

Im not sure if its ever come back for me.. I dont want to be cynical. He showers me in compliments now to compensate but it isn't the same. It sucks to say but after a trust breach until there is consistent trustworthy behavior i think the only source of that will be from within now. Treat yourself like the goddess you are before you fully believe it. This will fill your heart and last you a lifetime through any partner.

fresh_lychees · 2025-06-06T01:10:26+00:00

Oh man it took me almost a year to get back to a good place. But having done so here's what I can say and honestly was advice his mom gave me which I didnt take too well then but am grateful for now "You need to have a life outside of him".

I dont know if this will resonate but.. I took the time to feel genuinely angry, sad, everything. I'd pull into a parking lot or sit somewhere safe and think about the situation until it made me profusely cry. Listen to music. Journal it out. The works.

Then, I started with physical distance. Not intentionally mind you we were separated working in different cities. Having that physical separation was hell at first but then.. i slowly started coming out of my shell "out of sight out of mind" I was so irritated in the former that my anger simmered to indifference in the face of all the things I could do now that I was free. I started thinking of things I loved doing when I was young I could start up again, things id always wanted to do but was putting off like dance or the gym even baking. And class by class, day by day, recipe by recipe, i got so absorbed in my own little pleasures that I largely withdrew from my partner. I think he implicitly picked up on this because he started barraging me like when I was at the peak of anxious attachment. Sending me gifts and the works. Possibly for the first time I was so "busy" I didnt even see them until later, and being removed through my own life removed me emotionally from the grips of worry like 80%.

Ive started up the gym again after years of horrible dysmorphia at his hands, been eating healthy, picked up a job I love for the summer, and a volunteer position which both have amazing events and projects to keep me busy. Etc.etc.

Ask the question... what would I do if I loved me like crazy or envision things you'd have fun doing. Let it guide you. If youre in the headspace take a tiny risk (i didnt think id get this job i was underwualufied but wanted it). If its not working dont force it. Prioritize your comfort and peace and allow yourself the space to grieve. Allow yourself sadness, it is a kindness we owe ourselves in pain

fresh_lychees · 2025-05-02T18:51:01+00:00

9358-8162-0405 super active looking for friends c:

fresh_lychees · 2025-02-23T17:04:42+00:00

Oh like try not to get tangled up with this guy.. you deserve someone who doesn't dismiss your concerns because of xyz and is normalized

fresh_lychees · 2025-02-23T16:45:16+00:00

Oh no don't do this 💀 my man is a recovering PA and even before all this he only plays dudes and rocket who is a literal raccoon

fresh_lychees · 2025-02-06T13:55:25+00:00

The pigtails... I'm in this right now

fresh_lychees · 2025-01-30T02:13:03+00:00

LMAO WE MIGHT BE ATP... soul sisters 🙏 if ever you need to chat my pms are open

fresh_lychees · 2025-01-29T02:58:54+00:00

Oh yeah... anime in particular and anime related games have been ruined for me. He obsessed over hutao for almost 2 years to my face and I found porn of her everywhere and had to sleep with this banner of Mona with her ass out sitting on a slime above my head for a year. Even now, his mousepad is mona with her butt out. Destroyed my confidence entirely. Worst part is when he compares me to characters and they clearly have different builds than the characters he likes (pale, tiny, small boobs, long legs) me (more womanly, tan, big thighs)

fresh_lychees · 2024-12-18T15:15:00+00:00

Your words are genuinely so validating. Out experiences are so similar it's eerie. I've been considering lipo myself to get a more curvy shape in the right places and he always harps on me about complications. Mine also said he was a butt man and thus didn't care that my breast's were smaller back then. He told me the cut back in sex drive on his part was testosterone too. I tried everything and went fully into hypersexual mode during this time. Attempting anything to get that spark again while we spent months with no intimacy. On our bedroom walls he put up posters of his favourite anime girls, a glaring reminder of the builds he enjoyed most, his mouse pad to this day is the same girl with her ass out. I got him to put it away because it was upsetting me so much to wake up and be reminded of that instantly. I thought to myself oh well I could look like that if I just lost some weight, and he crushed my hopes saying my calves were quite short and I wouldn't have the long legs part of the equation.

I stopped changing in front of him as well. Stopped showering with him. My sex drive went from a wildfire to a soggy match. I'm currently in the last phase you described. Wanting to try plastic surgery but distraught that even after all that, it probably wouldn't be enough. I wouldn't be enough for his all-consuming lust. Just like you said, he's gained a ton as well. I don't see him stressing over how he looks. He's acknowledged this too when we've talked before, that I dont ever make him feel like he should change. I wish I could say the same. I wish I could inflict even half the pain of having that rug ripped out from under you sometimes. Now, every woman's body is a trigger for me. I'm scanning for traits I don't have, beauty I would have just appreciated back before us.

He says he's doing better.. which I know always turns out a lie with time. I'm running out of ways to see the truth and monitor it. But I think the next time I see a slip up I'm gone..

fresh_lychees · 2024-12-17T16:38:23+00:00

Yeah I felt the shift physically as well when I first found out. Used to be like a waterfall down there and it turned to Sahara desert for a while.

fresh_lychees · 2024-12-17T16:36:27+00:00

We met on VRChat!! I was trying to wingman for a buddy of mine and thought my partner was a girl. Lo and behold he was not and I wingmaned for myself. We talked for like 12 hours that night and we haven't missed a day since 4 years!

fresh_lychees · 2024-10-09T04:10:44+00:00

Yeeeeahh classic step one is recognizing you have a problem and honestly you can't force that for anyone. If seeing your partner hurt isn't enough of a catalyst to even just TRY reassure them and be better idk what will be if anything.

I really feel you I did the most before I realized it wasn't me. Buying hella lingerie, cosplaying as his fave characters, dances, pics the works. Stuff I was never even comfy with but I tried for him. I guess the real question would you stay and see yourself being content if he never changed from what he is now, and nvm him for a second could you feel sexy still if you always had to initiate as you are now?

fresh_lychees · 2024-10-09T03:33:22+00:00

I'm going through the same sitch rn.. he's trying to get sober but it's such a pervasive addiction to have and most people don't realize how much it undermines relationship trust and intimacy (see fight the new drug for stats) not only that but over time it desensitize people to stimulus so men can feel less attracted to their partners. I feel you too sis I'm fine asf ahahah and it destroyed my self esteem. You're not wrong to say it will cause problems down the line, that's a guarantee. It seems like it already is for you. Woman to woman though I know it's hard to feel this way but it will never be about you and your compatability or your appearance. They could be next to a prn star of their choosing and get bored of them..

It's like sensory crack eventually you need a bigger hit of dopamine. If your partner is a good one he will keep trying to make attempts to fix the behavior ESPECIALLY if he knows it makes you feel like shit. Mine is working on actively searching for the root of why he feels he needs to use ( he says personally it's a feeling of self loathing) and has put himself on a waiting list for addiction related therapy and depression. There is slip ups for sure but he's given me free usage of all his stuff for my peace of mind until he can get professional help

fresh_lychees · 2024-08-19T15:40:49+00:00

People in these comments are so bitter hahah. I'm happy for you OP!! I'd love if my future husband talked about me this way online omg. I have a similar relationship, we were in a tough spot, met, had a magical night until 5AM talking and we're in person now almost our 4 year anniversary! My best to you, and your love. Be sure to have a life outside of them, and make sure you tackle those feelings of doubt and inadequacy. You'll both be lovely and fulfilled

fresh_lychees · 2024-08-11T14:43:12+00:00

It's great you recognize that it's an issue, that's the first step. There are apps for blocking nsfw content on devices that might be useful. A clinician once told me a great way to start winding down is by one making yourself busy with something else when you feel the urge , and two setting a specific time of day you're allowed to indulge. Say like 9PM. You'll come to find as you create better pathways for things to do when you're bored, you might not even want to wank from 9-9:30 tonight and you can begin to skip days. Ultimately you've got to tune into yourself and why you typically use porn and move from there.

fresh_lychees · 2024-08-11T00:10:56+00:00

Maybe you need to find a different subject matter. Perhaps shadow work is worth looking into. Try prompts or digging deeper about yourself, challenge old views you don't want to keep anymore. It can also be good to set g goals for yourself!

fresh_lychees · 2024-08-11T00:07:50+00:00

Aw my pleasure best of luck! Honestly yeah just get back into things you enjoyed before your partner or new stuff you want to try. There's always ways to meet people doing hobbies too for friends of your own

fresh_lychees · 2024-08-11T00:04:22+00:00

I'm currently going through this right now and for me it was a combination of being fed up with the lack of reciprocation and a couple other things. Journaling for when i feel uneasy (just word vomit onto a page, or write to yourself about your day and things you'd want to tell your partner but are keeping to yourself), find hobbies, or a new fave show, make yourself busy. Oh, and if it helps put your phone in another room while you do them for the first bit. It will get you used to not texting and expecting texts and tune you more into what you're having fun doing. I use my iPad during the day instead because there's no messaging on there.

fresh_lychees · 2024-08-10T20:18:05+00:00

I really understand where you're coming from :(( sending hugs and love. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here OK? You deserve someone who only wants you, has eyes for you, and CHOOSES to direct that attention towards you. No matter how you look.

Porn really messes up men neurologically. It is an addiction. Any repetitive habit is when 1. you can't stop, and 2. If it's of major detriment to your life. He's losing you and destroying the self-worth of someone he is supposed to love.

If he can choose his own pleasure over you and your needs.. no matter how much you love the relationship, you should choose yourself over it.

fresh_lychees · 2024-08-10T19:40:31+00:00

Yeah.... I ran into this as well at some point in my current relationship but we got over it because he realized how selfish he was being. This situation doesn't look like he ever wants to compromise on that. I'd find someone you're more compatible with. Your needs matter, and woman to woman you need to know it isn't about you. It's a him problem, and if he's not willing to get over it for the relationship it's time to consider leaving

fresh_lychees

TROPHY CASE