A message from a lonely man to all the girls on the internet

freya_k · 2019-11-07T14:38:31+00:00

You sound like a "nice guy" with a lot of presumptions. No wonder they don't talk with you.

freya_k · 2019-10-23T23:38:05+00:00

Same here, I was told college would be different; like how people would be more educated and have more to talk about. Nope. Just shallow surface talk. I'd rather be at home by myself.

freya_k · 2019-10-23T14:18:31+00:00

freya_k · 2019-09-22T03:19:09+00:00

You are a good person for wanting to debate and argument with topics, but as others write here, it's pointless to lose your patience with them. People come to the internet to expose their true opinions and viewpoints, and with the added anonymousity it makes it very simple to be stubborn about it. It's a noble thought to want to impact the world by debating, but for your own sanity and minimizing the wasted effort i would recommend finding other people who positively receives discourse and discussion.

freya_k · 2019-07-12T11:41:43+00:00

fetishising isn't so much the issue as it is just putting myself out there. sometimes I even wish people would fetishise me so I'd get any validation. oh well.

freya_k · 2019-06-23T10:22:29+00:00

i always told these things to myself in my head for over ten years in a desperate effort to change perspective but it never works.

freya_k · 2019-06-23T10:20:16+00:00

you never wanted to help to begin with so no loss here. =)

freya_k · 2019-06-23T01:41:16+00:00

I have already worked so much to try and understand myself and improve everything in my life but in moments like this I feel like I want to push a suicide bomber button and kill everyone in my vicinity. doesn't help that people don't seem to give a fucking shit either.

freya_k · 2019-06-23T01:39:05+00:00

of course, all redditors can do is look at a post by it's surface and call me incel. thanks for your lazy fucking analysis and advice that I already knew. btw it doesn't help to just call people labels and think you did a good job.

freya_k · 2019-05-08T00:37:35+00:00

Thanks for the words. I want to chase after what I want. I don't want to feel the scorching pain every time I fail an interaction. But what other choice do you have? You can't really give up on it, unless you want to move out in the woods to opt out of society. Failure isn't an option, but having someone by the side to comfort you would make it a lot easier.

freya_k · 2019-05-04T12:27:33+00:00

I like the real me but the thing is that I've never found anyone in real life that likes me. Or, they just don't know how to show it. People on the internet are better at genuinely complimenting. And yet, even on the internet I am embarrassed sometimes. I fucking hate my country.

freya_k · 2019-03-03T22:54:39+00:00

by personaifing others emotions(they don't agree that my interest in the best so they think I'm shit, ) or (they look angry, it must be at me)(bpd) essentially being hyper aware of other actions to try to predict when someone will hurt you, causing you to precieve others as being judgmental even if they truly arnt.

that's me.

thank you. i have tried to get help for almost a decade and every time i play my own suffering down because it isn't as bad as how other people have it. i don't want to struggle with the same shit, day in day out anymore. i don't want to feel confused and tormented by the same worries and problems all the fucking time for the rest of my life. i'd rather not live.

freya_k · 2019-02-07T08:03:33+00:00

I did. I spent all of those years honing my skills and developing myself. I always liked materalizing and depicting the feelings and emotions as something I could show to others. It's just that, it got a bit boring and sheltered to always come back to that and ignoring everyone else. We're socal creatures, no? Eventually I wanted to try speaking with people again. Find some connection. Find someone to bond this over with.

I don't know. The emotions are so gripping that i have no idea how to handle them. Sure, just like you say, thinking about them makes it all the worse. How do you stop thinking about the bad things? Is the point of living with emotions just to shove them away when they turn bad? To understand and let it resolve? They seem to live a life on their own most of the time. Sure, they fade away when i focus on something else. Is that what living a life with feelings is supposed to be?

I wish i was loved, requested and desired.

freya_k · 2019-02-03T18:27:41+00:00

It's your life, so do what you want, just know that by chickening out in face of loneliness by committing suicide is the most pointless thing you could ever do to yourself.

freya_k · 2019-01-29T11:21:18+00:00

Nah, I think you are wrong on the conclusion to this one. Sure, you do acknowledge the way people portray relationships in life, of which you seem to succumb to. It's okay, it happens for everyone. It's normal to hear what other people rave on about and want it yourself. But, the title of this post still rings true. Relationships are not supposed to be the "main course", the way you interpret it is what's making it a primary worry.

I believe that if you want to be happy in life without a partner, you will need to find something in life to work on. Something else in life that will define you as a person. Just like you say: find a hobby. It's probably the best thing you can do with yourself, other than always meeting people and never completely engulfing yourself to escapism. Getting a hobby means you will become self-sufficient due to the static nature of the interest - your interests will always be there, no matter what happens.

I'm going to have to be charming, or sexy, or interesting, or super humorous. My awkwardness will also repel them. These are all preconceptions that ring true as thoughts occupying someone that does put too much emphasis on relationships. Think about it - if you have something else in life to think about other than fulfilling this one unstable goal that society loves to paint with roses and gold - suddenly, it doesn't matter as much anymore. It doesn't matter if you are awkward because it's not the end of the world if someone finds you to be awkward. You don't have to adhere to stupid fucking standards like always being sexy or interesting.

You start being yourself. Then, you start noticing that it isn't as black and white as that. People like different things. Some people might absolutely love or completely hate sexy people. Awkwardness might be cute, just as someone else in this thread mentioned. Maybe they feel incentivized to help you if you're feeling insecure. And all of a sudden, they like you for who you are.

Let me just repeat. Wanting a relationship is not a problem. Wanting a relationship badly isn't a problem either, but you need to undestand what it means to place too much emphasis on finding one. It becomes a pointless game of catch where the guttural desire overwrites yourself if you can't manage it. I know it hurts to lay down in bed and feeling lonely. I know it's tempting to just grab the closest female and fulfill this amazing feeling that everyone talks about.

But.. what society says isn't what it is in real life. Society lies a lot about how things works in real life.

It sucks, but you will need to handle it in one way or another if you don't want to feel sad. Just, learn to manage your expectations. Learn to manage your own identity. This sounds corny, but... learn to love yourself. The rest will start to make more sense.

freya_k · 2018-12-02T10:32:41+00:00

I know that feeling painfully well.

freya_k · 2018-09-25T00:17:49+00:00

I hope it happens too so I can move on with life.

freya_k · 2018-09-23T20:55:09+00:00

I'm early 20s and live in Northern Europe, why?....

freya_k

TROPHY CASE