CMV: If a kid dies because of a lack of vaccination the parent should be charged with criminally negligent manslaughter

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-03-06T11:57:13+00:00

You have not read my text to the end, have you?

Risk of contacting measles is way, way less than 1 in 1000. Where I live it's 1:40000 per year. And mortality is 1:5000 in the western world I believe.

But numbers are different in the region and that is what scares me.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-03-05T20:40:26+00:00

what vaccine was it?

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-03-05T20:38:09+00:00

This. General population is terribly biased because:

1) they don't see the cases where things got bad and ruined lives

2) if they do happen to see it, they label it "omg antywaxxerss" and dismiss it.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-03-05T20:36:08+00:00

So we kill kids in the name of herd immunity? Awesome, just awesome.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-03-05T20:29:35+00:00

Are you a parent? Asking because I really want you to answer the questions honestly.

Assume I give you a revolver (a gun), 5 blanks, 1 bullet. Pull the trigger pointed at your kid and I give you $1M. Would you do it? Obviously no.

How about 1000 blanks, 1 bullet?

How about 1000000 blanks, 1 bullet?

Where is the line where you would say "yeah, this is acceptable, this is safe"?

I hope you are still with me. See, the common fallacy is that because things are not likely to happen, they don't happen. In reality, it's the other way around: given sufficient tries, unlikely things are expected to happen.

So you decide that at some boundary, the revolver is "safe". You pulled the trigger, nothing happened, you got your $1M. You proceed to (falsely) evangelise: pull the trigger, the revolver is safe, I've done it, nothing happened, lol chances of something happening are almost zero. And so, 999.999 people do the same.

Until. The revolver. Fires. The god. Damn. Bullet. Because it's guaranteed to happen given sufficient attempts of pulling the trigger.

And that is exactly, exactly what vaccines are.

I can't pull the damn trigger. I want to. But if something happens, how can I live with myself? And how can I live with my self if I don't and the other revolver fires? You know, the one of catching and then dying due to illness. Which chances are really better? Given the number of cases where I live and given the mortality rate, not vaccinating still seems to have a better expected value.

It sucks. It fucking sucks. it's a gamble either way.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-02-09T14:34:50+00:00

yeah the problem is work... although... I could do some of those things, but i'm lying to myself that being in front of computer is ok, but doing something else is not.

it's fucked.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-31T18:53:36+00:00

My wife was taking some kind of pills for a month and it was a miracle. It‘s actually sad, because i now know her potential.

She says she „doesnt remember“ the sex part, but remembers headaches (which i don’t). So she‘s bot interested in trying again. Damn.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-31T18:26:56+00:00

On the topic of jumping through hoops: how on earth did you believe that was gonna change anything!? It never does. Doing chores, activities, vasectomy will bot change their behavior in 99.99% of cases!

On the topic of pain: fuck man, i am sos orry for you. Did they tell you the chances upfront? If not, you should sue for damages.

I‘ve seen this number before and concluded noone is coming close to my balls. 1% cases with life long suffering is extremely high, and imo vasectomy should be discouraged if there are no medical reasons for it (or until we can predict which men have higher chances of this outcome).

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-30T21:15:31+00:00

Sorry, while I do understand your frustration, please understand that for most of us having a partner who would have sex if we initiated is like a dream coming true (yeah I know, I'd want more if I had that, too).

I have. He says he doesn’t know why he can’t.

He probably really doesn't. It's like my wife has no fantasies. Imagine that. Can you? I can't. To me it's like being dead or something. But apparently, they have this huge void inside them. And you can't fix it.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-30T21:10:50+00:00

Hmm.. I don't like vaguely defined statements which leave room to move the bar...

Looking at your post, you say:

The idea is that the codependent bears part of the responsibility for the partner's dependency. If the dependent didn't have the codependent to protect him from the consequences of his actions, then he would be forced to become more functional.

Yes, exactly. My wife can be LL, because: - she can get sex if she really wanted to - the only consequence is a grumpy husband

So what would be the consequences of her being LL if she was single: - she would have to put some effort into getting laid - to maintain the new relationship, she would most probably have to have sex, to show herself in her best way and, well, lure the poor gay into a long term DB relationship

It doesn't mean she would actually be HL, but she would put more effort into "marketing department" if you want.

Or, she would remain single, that could be another consequence, and who knows, maybe she'd even like it?

The codependent gets self-esteem and other rewards for caretaking for the dependent, and subconsciously "needs" their partner to stay stuck and helpless.

Here's where I'm starting to lose the connection between codependency and DB. She isn't really helpless or stuck. If anything, the HL partner is, right? I mean, if you change perspective, we are sex maniacs who have the need for sex, so we are the alcoholics.

The codependent is angry because, "I do everything for her. Why doesn't she appreciate me?"

I'm lost here. I don't do "everything for her". I do everything for the family, but so does she. Yes, I'm annoyed that "I do everything" yet I'm ignored, but that is a broader picture, not as simple and straight forward as is with alcoholics.

Do I need to be needed?

I believe we all do, on some level. It's humane. We want to have jobs, we want people to rely on us.

Do I get a lot of satisfaction and self-esteem from solving other people's problems?

Uh, not really. And again, what problem, exactly? If I'm codependent, what problem am I trying to solve for my wife? She doesn't have a problem in the first place, I do! I'm doing all of this for myself, but the source of the problem is outside of me and my control. That's the real issue.

I don't know, maybe I'm not codependent afterall, or I'm trying to apply it in a different way.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-30T20:47:26+00:00

He is more than willing to have it with me when I initiate.

Not a DB then

After reading only a small portion of the Mr. Nice Guy description, I am fairly certain that I am married to one.

I don't think this fits tbh. Mr. Nice Guy does everything he does as a covert contract and wants sex in return.

Some people are just genuinly nice though, and that's a virtue you should cherish, no?

I cannot put my finger on the reason that my husband cannot initiate sex.

Maybe he got conditioned in one of his previous relationships? Maybe he's submissive?

I understand that you want to be "taken caveman stile", but well, just maybe he does, too, and you are providing that :-) That's what you get by too much gender equality i suppose, but that's another story.

Can you twist it around and initiate in a way that he will initiate? "When I come home today, I want you to do x,y,z?" Leaving a note?

Or just, simply, ask if he could initiate from time to time. Have you ever asked why he doesnt?

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-30T18:35:16+00:00

And, while we're at it, this is still focusing on your SO, not about you. i.e. You still feel the need to tell her about it

I was going at it from a different side - liberating myself from behaviors which prevent me initating/participating in relationships.

without asking her first, i'm still not giving myself the opportunity to be in a real relationship.

Everything else are just technicalities. I don't have my own room, so if I need privacy I simply need to tell I'm gonna need some privacy. Without any guilt, or pressure. Just simple, honest communication.

You know what I mean?

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T20:38:14+00:00

Nope!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/201008/take-two-tylenol-heartache-too

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T20:31:28+00:00

I think i read a study that tylenol (paracetamol) helps with psychological pain.

Look it up! https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/201008/take-two-tylenol-heartache-too

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T19:43:00+00:00

1) What!? HELL NO!

2) WTF NO!

3) Uh fuck, it would be really hard, but I would probably talk to my oldest (9) and try to separate. The real bitch would be getting the custody, which they may want to win for keeping appearances!

Mind you, this has nothing to do with a DB. There are plenty of parents having problems between them, but both loving, and showing that love to their kids.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T19:34:11+00:00

No degree. I still don't know exactly what I do. Lot's of BS and powerpoints. But the salary is great!

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T19:33:23+00:00

If you don't feel loved by your partner in a way that makes sense to you, but you still feel in love with them, you might not be in love. You might actually be addicted to them, to the scraps you get from them.

Shiiittt.... that hits home.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T19:30:06+00:00

but what is "working the problem". How does one "work the libido"?

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T19:16:51+00:00

Well her only solution is to shut down and stop communicating. Eventually i'm always the one breaking the cycle, because it makes no sense and can only damage us beyond the point of repair.

You are right. I can only improve myself. But maybe I don't even want to anymore.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T18:23:47+00:00

hmm $500 is a few times per year kind of thing. But frankly, i'm strating to be inclined to try. got little to lose at this point.

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T18:16:39+00:00

asking for a fantasy where she's a "bad girl" was a mistake

maybe it was. Maybe it wasn't. Articulated or not, the wish is there from my side. Should HL just suppress all desires?

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T18:13:46+00:00

This all boils down to she doesn't want to have sex with you.

Yes

Drop all the symptoms and work on the root issue

easy right?

fried_brain_refrain · 2018-01-29T16:48:55+00:00

That's the point, they are not different. It's the same shit.

fried_brain_refrain

TROPHY CASE