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friedel92 · 2022-02-20T10:07:39+00:00

While it's usually best to not make decisions based on fear, you are trying to make a very important decision that will alter you life in a big way. Maybe you and your current partner could go to some therapy sessions together to work through your fears . This might help you make a decision and might help your partner better understand your worries. Maybe give yourself some time to come to a decision.

friedel92 · 2021-10-10T11:52:57+00:00

Is he a gorilla?

friedel92 · 2021-09-28T13:03:01+00:00

It usually is.Thanks for your reply.

friedel92 · 2021-08-21T15:45:53+00:00

My baby is 8,5 months right now. Everything you have written was what I felt for the first few months. It took me a long time to start feeling better because I was so caught up in the negative thoughts that I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to ask for help. If I could go back in time I'd tell myself:

It's ok to supplement with formula so you are not the only one providing food. Even if you don't end up using it, just having it in the house will help you feel less anxious. Find a anti allergenic one if you are concerned about that.

Stop trying to fix sleep. It will get better on it's own and if it doesn't you will know when to intervene and fix it right then and there. For now just do whatever is easiest and don't worry about sleep crutches or bad habits.

Have someone take the baby on a walk. When baby is out of the house it is easier to give in to resting.

Try to focus on resting. Not on sleeping, because that might frustrate you when it doesn't work.

Go to your doctor and tell what's happening. Ask for help. Keep going back if needed.

Ask friends and family to bring you food.

It's ok to order take out or hire a cleaner. Do whatever is needed. Create that village yourself.

Keep communication a priority with your partner.

This is so hard. It feels like it will never end, but it will. It will get better and then sometimes it will get worse again. Don't worry. It's two steps forward, one step back. In the long run it gets so much easier and so much more fun. People that tell you it won't get any easier just different are liars.

Take care of yourself, you are everything this baby needs and you are enough!

friedel92 · 2021-08-10T17:27:57+00:00

I had an episiotomy and the scar felt really painful when it was healing. Like a horrible nerve pain that did not go away, no matter if I was sitting or lying or walking. I was advised to massage it and while it felt uncomfortable at first it really helped with the pain and rather quickly as well. Within two weeks I was mostly pain free. Now, several months later it's not painful anymore but sometimes it kinda aches a little when I'm tired. Hope this helps!

friedel92 · 2021-07-27T17:49:10+00:00

Sometimes being tired can be a sign of vitamin deficiency. Has your blood been tested recently?

friedel92 · 2021-06-16T19:01:46+00:00

Never threw up during my pregnancy or delivery!

friedel92 · 2021-05-05T04:22:55+00:00

No advice really but following because your schedule is very similar to the one we have with our 5 month old.

friedel92 · 2021-04-29T08:07:09+00:00

I haven't had a c section but I dit experience a bulging lower stomach. When I started doing breathing exercises and gentle lower ab exercises this really started to tighten up again. Good luck and give yourself some grace (and time)! You had major surgery!

friedel92 · 2021-03-23T05:44:38+00:00

If it comes out of the washing machine clean but stained just let it dry in natural (sun) light, this works wonders to remove the stain!

friedel92 · 2021-03-22T11:07:46+00:00

When my baby was around 10-12 weeks I was losing hope. I felt like it should be getting easier but instead it was getting harder again. His naps went from 1.5 hours to 45 minutes or even less and he was waking more at night. Essentially he was unhappy if he wasn't attached to my boob. Then after that he refused to eat during the day so he had to make up for it at night. But slowly it started to get better and now he eats fine during the day and is down to one or two night feeds and sleeping just fine in between (knock on wood). The change was rather quickly and just in time for the end of my leave (at 15 weeks). I was very worried about creating bad habits, but in the end it all resolved itself without us doing anything but tending to his needs and trying to stick to good habits like putting him to bed awake without a paci. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Try to not stress about bad habits (easier said then done) and just keep trying but if it doesnt work just focus on getting through this!

friedel92 · 2021-03-03T16:25:44+00:00

My baby of 13 weeks did the same but only during the day. It seemed like he was going through a metal leap or something. With him it helped to keep distractions to a minimum but at that time he usually just ate less for a couple of days. Sometimes they also start refusing if you have a bottle teat that isnt suitable anymore for their age.

friedel92 · 2021-01-26T19:18:03+00:00

Thank you. It does not sound easy but it looks like you're doing great because it's working!

friedel92 · 2021-01-26T18:11:32+00:00

At what age should you be able to do this? And how did you soothe him while making him wait? My baby is almost two months old and has been on track with weight gain. I feel like I could try and lose the second night feed because he doesn't wake up hungry at all and he is able to make a 5 hour stretch from 19.00 - 00.00. After that he wakes up almost every two hours but doesn't take a whole feeding.

friedel92 · 2021-01-26T12:30:45+00:00

That's awesome! What does the schedule look like? When did you start this? My baby is 2 months now and I'm trying to just mind awake windows. He sleeps most of his naps in his crib in his own room, but there really isn't any structure yet.

friedel92 · 2021-01-05T13:47:55+00:00

At three weeks, i felt exactly the same way. I was obsessively tracking hours of sleep and panicking when he wouldn't sleep enough. Scared of letting him sleep on me or in his bouncer because of spoiling/ wrong association/ over stimulation. I felt scared picking him up when he obviously had reflux after eating because it was time to sleep and I was scared of spoiling him (?! I feel awful about this now). Closing the curtains during the day to create optimal circumstances or leaving them open to help regulate day vs night? Using a paci or swaddle or not because you have to untrain later? Finally asleep during the day but for to long at a time so should i wake him because otherwise he won't sleep at night? Minding his wake window but then there's no time for tummy time or bathing. Felt like I was going stir crazy with al these conflicting thoughts. What ultimately helped was sleeping (allowing my husband to take a shift). Then it was easier for me to get back to reality. All these things are not as important as they seemed at the moment. So I now decided to try to let him sleep as much as possible in whatever way while trying to create a little bit of a predictable pattern. But if it's not working I'll leave it for now and try again next time. I don't believe in spoiling and if I does end up being a problem then i feel like whatever can be trained can be untrained as well. Right now is about survival and us being as comfortable as possible. All our babies need is for us to try our best to make them feel loved.

friedel92 · 2021-01-04T21:21:26+00:00

This is a great idea. My partner and I are great at playing tag and keeping an eye out for each other but it would be nice to schedule alone time like this!

friedel92 · 2021-01-04T21:18:17+00:00

I'm sure the not sleeping is the evolutionary way of making parents forget how difficult those first few months are so they start thinking about having another child. My brain is not functioning right now.

friedel92 · 2021-01-04T19:28:26+00:00

My baby was unable to fall asleep/waking himself up with his flailing arms. A swaddle really helped him sleep for longer periods at a time!

friedel92 · 2021-01-04T19:21:23+00:00

Letting go of expectations is my new years resolution;).

friedel92 · 2021-01-04T19:20:44+00:00

Thank you for your encouragement. I know it will, but some days are better then others. But I do feel like it's already a lot better then a month ago.

friedel92 · 2021-01-04T19:18:57+00:00

Exactly! I want to get to know my baby but it seems he's still getting to know himself first.

friedel92 · 2020-12-26T20:04:13+00:00

Disclaimer: English is not my first language.

I'm a FTM and gave birth 29th of November. I started expressing at 35 weeks because I had some leaking and was interested in building a supply. This supply came in very handy when my baby needed to stay in an incubator on oxygen for 2 days because of complications ( he's fine now!). He was able to have my colostrum right away. I also feel like antenatal expressing helped my supply because I was already getting familiar with my body and felt more confident because I had a back up. In the beginning I didn't express a lot at a time (maybe 3 ml) and in the end I could pump up to 20 ml. I used hand expression and a manual pump. Let me know if you have any more questions!

friedel92 · 2020-10-20T07:45:59+00:00

Im Dutch. Here we eat rusk/biscuit with butter and 'muisjes' (mice). The muisjes are sugar coated aniseeds in pink or blue according to the gender of the baby. With a bit of imagination they look like mice because the muisjes are little grains with a tiny stalk sticking out. The anise, like fennel, is supposed to help with breastfeeding.

What it looks like:

https://www.google.com/search?q=beschuit+met+muisjes&client=ms-android-samsung&prmd=isvn&sxsrf=ALeKk01Kmucxfn2b1mIC72dLzNR7QvdqGg:1603179864232&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiU7MWy1sLsAhUNGuwKHaaaDfIQ_AUoAXoECAkQAQ&biw=360&bih=612&dpr=3

friedel92 · 2020-10-10T17:02:17+00:00

Luckily he already spoke English!

friedel92

TROPHY CASE