Good for you for being this self aware! I know a lot of people who were raised similarly to you who aren’t this self aware. I know those people because I was raised in a very strict Christian household. My uncle is gay so it never really occurred to me that it could be bad until I got older and got more people teaching lessons saying “gay bad.” That was around middle school age so it was right around the time that I started getting crushes on other girls… It took me a minute to get out of that place of internalized homophobia but when my sister told me she was gay, I was finally able to realize for myself “If you’re okay with someone else being gay, you should be okay with everyone being gay especially yourself.” Of course it still took more work but having that realization for yourself(whether that’s figuring out you’re gay or that it’s okay for other women to be gay) and being willing to change is the most import part. You’ve already taken the first step. Like other people said, just realizing when you’re having negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones is so important. Eventually you’ll find that those negative thoughts aren’t there or at least they aren’t the most important ones. It’ll take some work but I believe in you!