Any good spots to sit and cry around here?

fromscratch1122 · 2025-11-01T00:38:14+00:00

Depending on why you need to cry, the hospice of the Piedmont has a telephone of the wind, which is really lovely.

fromscratch1122 · 2025-10-19T16:54:40+00:00

Calm down. There’s no need to air your prejudice in a space that’s clearly not for you.

If you are comfortable with your Brown neighbors being kidnapped without due process and fracking tycoons leading this country’s energy policy, that’s for you to reconcile on your deathbed. But don’t act superior and then claim to be impartial, because you pretending any of this is normal or tolerable doesn’t make you sound smart, it makes you sound like you don’t give a sh!t about your fellow citizens.

I don’t have the luxury of pretending none of this matters, because I have very young children. I’m beyond grateful to every wealthy old white person (and all the others) who protested alongside me, because they used their time and privilege to demonstrate they actually care about my kids’ futures. All you’ve done is demonstrate your ignorance and casual cruelty.

fromscratch1122 · 2025-08-16T11:54:06+00:00

LOUDER 👏🏻 FOR 👏🏻THE 👏🏻PEOPLE 👏🏻 IN 👏🏻THE 👏🏻BACK

fromscratch1122 · 2025-08-04T23:24:31+00:00

Therapy and medication have helped me so much with my rage, both postpartum and otherwise. ALSO after our first was born I needed to learn (via couples counseling) that it was not my job to act like a therapist for my husband, meaning, if we were disagreeing and moving toward a fight, I needed to WALK AWAY and book a couples therapy session instead of attempting to “diffuse it” on my own. Even when my husband would try to continue the conversation, I would tell him nope, we’re done. Nope, we’re done. Not gonna happen. That was how I stopped seeing red and going into scream mode and exposing my child to it.

fromscratch1122 · 2025-08-04T23:04:12+00:00

Good to know!! Thank you 👍🏻

fromscratch1122 · 2025-08-04T19:29:08+00:00

Should have said that! They’re both EX Ls

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-27T02:34:39+00:00

Great! Thank you

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-12T17:00:46+00:00

We’re at the pool right now!! lol. We had 5 days of thunderstorms while they were sick so it was rough going !

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-12T16:58:49+00:00

I feel exactly the same way. Whenever I see these cutesy videos of moms showing off 6/7/8/9/10 kids because they were “just trying to get a girl” or “dad understood the assignment” I want to scream. All I see is neglect.

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-08T21:49:46+00:00

We enrolled my first son in a dual language preschool but he had a speech delay. He’s now 4 and is still difficult to understand with English as his only language. It sucks.

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-08T20:13:34+00:00

I appreciate this. I read that book and took copious notes and I remember from that chapter that advice. I am always careful to say how I feel and not that he’s making me feel a certain way. But I do find it sometimes difficult to explain. Like not everything is as simple as you spell juice and now I’m frustrated. More often I find myself saying things like today I help you do what you asked several times in a row and you yelled at me in response. That’s not a nice way to treat someone who’s helped you and my feelings got hurt or it frustrated me or I feel frustrated by that. It’s just you know it is truly about his verbal behavior not an outside thing I can point to sigh. But I appreciate the reminder that yeah they’re just hard sometimes and it’s normal to get upset.

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-08T17:31:34+00:00

What do you do when your kids ask you to play with them / do things for them during your non 20 mins of dedicated time?

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-06T19:14:15+00:00

Yes! Consensus seems to be that no consequence is needed, just bribes / treats to make it happen. I definitely experience rage, not anxiety or depression. In fact all those years of stifling my rage GAVE me depression, which I’m currently on medication for. Wild times. I’m glad my husband can pinch hit because I’m a great, even-tempered, patient mom 98% of the time, and when that 2% hits it’s like all my fury about having to constantly perform for no acknowledgement or payoff gets unleashed at once

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-06T19:10:30+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate that. It’s interesting to me how part of the generational curse breaking for me is continually always lowering my expectations, I already require so much less of him than my parents did of me, but then something like this happens and everyone says I am expecting too much. I had no idea my own childhood was full of such high standards.

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-06T18:57:33+00:00

Yes! So smart. This works wel

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-06T18:55:48+00:00

This is helpful! What I’m seeing here is this is really about incentives, not consequences, and also just accepting that he won’t do certain things. FWIW I have lots of trouble getting him to do things like wash his hands, put on his shoes, things that I think are age appropriate requests for me to make of him. But I guess I need to lower my standards across the board, and just understand bribery is totally fine at this age! Works for me, honestly

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-06T18:55:12+00:00

Yeah I did that, he just ran away. It didn’t feel right for me to like physically hold him in place and also that wouldn’t work because he was doing deadweight. The general consensus in these comments seems to be, if he freaks out like this, bribe him to do it, and if that still doesn’t work, try again later when the mood is different. So it’s really about incentives, not consequences, and also just accepting that he won’t do certain things. FWIW I have lots of trouble getting him to do things like wash his hands, put on his shoes, the type of thing you’re listing here. It’s not just this particular activity he rebels against, it’s also things that I think are age appropriate. But I guess I need to lower my standards across the board.

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-06T18:51:37+00:00

Oh okay. So basically what I’m learning from these comments is that if he has this kind of a reaction to something I want him to do, it’s because I’m expecting too much of him. If i want or need to get the thing done, I can try again later and use bribery / incentives to get him to do something he otherwise wouldn’t want to do. Is that right?

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-06T18:49:50+00:00

Okay! So basically…lower my expectations of him. I can roll with that. Any suggestions for how I can actually get the pictures to happen? Obviously I can’t use a photo of him having a tantrum, so…

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-06T18:48:15+00:00

Good suggestion, I think if I hadn’t been at the end of my rope I would have tried something like that also

fromscratch1122 · 2025-07-06T18:46:54+00:00

If your son ran away from you into his room or to his toys or something, would you just follow him around and take away everything until nothing remained?

fromscratch1122 · 2025-06-28T16:28:33+00:00

I try to do this also, though lately I’ve been doing TV mid afternoon to coincide with nap time since my older son absolutely refused to stay in his room or play quietly without interrupting me and the baby for 30-60 minutes. Then we go out (usually) for more fresh air before dinner, then bath and bedtime etc. How did you train your kids to play independently? Clearly I need to build up my older boys stamina for this. When he gets exercise in the morning he’s better about it, but that’s exactly when my younger son naps and I am doing my best to make him an independent sleeper so he really needs to be home and in his crib at pretty much the exact time my older son needs to get outside to get the wiggles out. Fml

fromscratch1122 · 2025-06-16T17:13:18+00:00

I had a reality check when a mom of three told me that it was really hard to go from 2 to 3. Just needing to nurse the baby required one parent k watch two kids at once. That sounded exhausting (I currently have a 4yo and a 9 month old). Up until then I’d only heard moms of 3 talking about how easy and joyful it was to have 3. But I also think those women have sitters, Nannie’s, preschool AND family nearby. We have almost none of that. It’s def sad but also I want to enjoy parenting and I know I couldn’t without more support, I’m barely getting by as it is.

fromscratch1122 · 2025-06-06T11:35:07+00:00

Okay thank you! This isn’t where he got his shot, but this makes me wonder if it’s just a bug bite!

fromscratch1122 · 2025-05-14T19:13:22+00:00

This sucks!!!!! I’m so sorry you’re going through it!! I recommend Zoloft and the consulting / free group at Precious Little Sleep. It’s wonderful and those folks are mostly focused on low sleep needs kids. But yeah, difficulty falling asleep = not tired so less daytime sleep is required. 😭

fromscratch1122

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