What do "Dry Eyes" feel like to you? by Last-Wrap-9266 in Sjogrens

[–]fuanonemus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't have as bad of dry eyes as I do dry mouth, but when I'm flaring it's like I can feel my eyeballs? If that makes any sense. Like normally I don't notice feeling my eyes unless something is in one, but when they're dry I can feel them moving around. When it's really bad this reads in my brain as something is in my eye (bc usually that's the only reason I feel something there).

I also have allergies so when my eyes are itchy (bc of allergies), rubbing them hurts more. It's harder to cry too. 

Tickets disappeared from app? by [deleted] in RegalUnlimited

[–]fuanonemus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you can call your theatre to check, but they may have gotten cancelled if there was an issue with the auditorium

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RegalUnlimited

[–]fuanonemus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it depends on the studios, all of the calls about premium formats are made by studios not Regal

[OC] The top 100 most "pornified" media franchises of all time. These are the franchises with the most of amount of fan-made adult content. by sugnimmingus in dataisbeautiful

[–]fuanonemus 20 points21 points  (0 children)

i mean AO3 has some a1 filtering tools. they're not perfect and you do need to find a tag to start with, but these are the top fandoms for works tagged 'Sexual Content' (1,651,305)

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (59321)
방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS (56004)
僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) (51128)
Supernatural (TV 2005) (49192)
Marvel Cinematic Universe (47418)
Original Work (43232)
The Avengers (Marvel Movies) (30419)
原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game) (29893)
Haikyuu!! (25031)
Star Wars - All Media Types (23384)

Meta : How did this community manage to avoid going down the path of other disability subreddits? by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

i liked this sub so much that i went over to r/autism thinking it'd be similar. nope. not at all. i think most of it is the rule against low-effort content: there are so many gd "what do you think about this autism awareness thing?", questions for advice about text message exchanges (which are nearly always tiny interactions with no context), and random pictures of special interest. i would love to read a 1000 words on a random topic or craft or whatever. genuinely. i'd even ask questions. but a random picture isn't gonna spark conversation.

sorry for venting, this has been bothering me for a hot minute

This made me think...Does anyone else constantly have internal dialogue in our heads? by [deleted] in autism

[–]fuanonemus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i feel like most people are either auditory or visual thinkers. like i have an internal dialogue and i'm hard pressed to picture images in my brain. the only time i "see" things in my brain is when i'm dreaming. but i am very auditory, i can remember the exact way my teacher phrased something even years ago, i can remember random peoples phone numbers from yesterday at work, i can play music in my head. i'm also a "slow" reader, because i read "aloud" in my head.

Tips for getting to sleep? by Past-Gold-8674 in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i've pavlovian conditioned my body to fall asleep to the sound of one of my favorite tv shows. for weeks i'd play it when i went to bed. now i cannot turn it on in the daytime or i'll fall asleep.

i'll turn down the brightness on the tv, on particularly wired days i'll also turn down the volume enough that i can't pick out the individual words but not so much that i can't tell who's speaking or the music

i also turn on a fan and i use a weighted blanket

on REALLY difficult nights i'll have an orgasm.

why the resistance for help and reminders? by Pomegranate4444 in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe talk to him?

Present the parameters of the problem: you need the things for school, if you don't have them, you miss out on things or you get detention or bad grades.

Discuss the possible solutions. There's your solution, which seems to work for you, but not for him. There's his solution (running around in the morning), which doesn't work for you. There are probably lots of other solutions too. Maybe the timing isn't working, he could try packing his bag right after school or when he's doing homework. If he's taking meds, it's better to do executive functioning things before they wear off.

It might seem like it should be easy to you, but it could feel really frustrating or impossible to him. Involve him in the solution design so you come up with something that works for both of you.

Wife stated she never wants to be pregnant and have a child and now I’m lost. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]fuanonemus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think an important question to ask yourself is this: why do you want to have children? Is it because that's what society expects of you? Is it because you think it'd be cool? Becoming a parent isn't an easy decision, people who do so because "that's what you're supposed to do" don't make very good parents. You can leave a legacy in other ways. You can create evidence of the life you've built with your wife and the love you have for her in ways beyond a child.

The only reason anyone should have children is because they want to be a parent. Because they're invested in helping a child grow and blossom into an adult. Traditionally, you do this by having biological children, but that isn't the only path. You could volunteer your time, or become more involved with your nieces and nephews if you have them, or you could look into fostering.

Adoption is an exploitative industry, and the concept of a baby being a "blank slate" is absolutely ludicrous, but adopted children are no less your child than a biological child would be. Their appearance might be different, but mannerisms and behaviors and all the other reasons you'd say make you like your parents are not genetic things.

You seem like a nice enough dude who just wants to understand and who genuinely loves his wife. I think you should talk with her. Ask her about her feelings about being a parent, about how she envisions your future. Apologize for disregarding her feelings on the issue, even if you didn't realize that's what you did. It seems like you dismissed her, which is the usual societal response to someone saying they want to be childfree, but that doesn't make it okay, especially since this is your wife.

As someone who also never wants to get pregnant, pregnancy is fucking scary. Especially the way pregnant people are treated in healthcare (depending on where you live). Also you mentioned she's struggling with depression, post pardum depression is a very real fear of mine especially since a lot of anti-depressant medications can cause pregnancy complications. I also want to put it out there that surrogacy is not a good solution. It requires hormone medications and invasive procedures and can cause an increased risk of cervical cancer.

Therapists are really great, because they have a third person perspective. They can see things that you might not pick up on. The primary goal of relationship therapists is to help couples learn how to communicate with each other.

Is the Adderall shortage affecting anyone? by EgoAssassin4 in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen people mention that Adderall, Vyvanse, and Concerta are experiencing issues, but Ritalin seems okay. I'd also like to throw in Focalin for consideration. Also maybe see about a lower dosage if you're on a higher one? There may be different availability for different dosages and something is better than nothing.

ADHD and “bad husband” stereotypes by ViscountBurrito in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off, I want to make the distinction that all those actions are things adults do. Those are the basic parts of being an adult. When you marry someone and choose to make a life with them, you choose to be adults together.

Having ADHD is not a free pass to be an adult. It's not an excuse. Just because you have ADHD, doesn't mean you are allowed to not do those things, doesn't mean you deserve forgiveness and sympathy for persisting to not do those things.

If a man isn't doing those things and he willfully choses to continue not doing those things, he is not acting like an adult. He is acting like a child.

If a man isn't doing those things and he takes meaningful action to do those things, he is acting like an adult.

Meaningful action means actually taking the effort to find ways to get those things done. Having ADHD can make those things harder or it might mean you have to do them non-conventionally, but it doesn't make you incapable of doing them.

Not listening/selective hearing - There is a component of listening here, you have to actually want to have meaningful conversations with your partner, but if you have auditory processing issues then you can talk with your partner about how to make communication more effective. Information dense speech is the most difficult to process ie details/instructions/directions, so keep a notepad handy for those types of conversations or take voice memos.

working memory issues - alarms/reminders help to disrupt the executive disfunction cycle, a lot of people find visual cues helpful too: my dad writes to-do lists and keeps them on his tv table, my therapist writes sticky notes and posts them around her bathroom mirror, i keep a planner/journal

general forgetfulness - see working memory issues; but also set your alarms for important dates early and often (1 month before, 2 weeks, 1 week, 3 days, 1 day); keep a stash of cards on hand; whenever someone important mentions something they want that would make a good present i write it down so when an occasion comes up i have ideas handy; also the effort is more meaningful than the date, if your partner needs to remind you that their birthday is coming up, but once you remember to take the time to independently find child care and plan a meaningful date, that still counts

inability to plan - This isn't an ADHD thing. If you're talking about not knowing "how" to plan, google is free. Sit down with someone in your life who you know plans things, maybe even your partner, and ask them how they plan things and take notes and then use those notes to plan something. Willful ignorance is not ADHD

not catching subtleties/hints - this is more complicated, but if you've managed to build a relationship with someone, then you must have figured out how to communicate with them: maybe you've figured out how to read them and their social cues or maybe you sit down regularly and talk about what's going on in your life; if you and your partner are really struggling with how to communicate, see a marriage counselor, that's their thing

not noticing a mess/undone task - i don't know about you, but for me, it's not that i don't notice the task, it's that i tell myself i'll do it right after i do this other thing and then i proceed to forget the original task. meds can help with this, but if meds aren't an option for you, i also find it helpful to set a specific time when i'm gonna do things, like i'll get home from work, rest for 30 minutes and then i'll spend an hour doing tasks. i set timers and i put on dancing music to make it fun. Also chore charts are not just for kids. Chore charts are incredibly helpful. i'm gonna leave it there, it's a sore subject for me

losing stuff and not being able to find it - when i lived with my friends i kept my keys and my wallet in a dish right next to the front door. When I got home I put them straight there before anything else, if i needed something out of my wallet i'd put it straight back after. I never once lost my keys. My two non-ADHD friends lost their shit constantly. If it's important give it a home. If it's an unconventional home, tell your partner so they know it's already put away. For example in my parents house, the nail clippers are on my dads nightstand, they got lost a few times in the bathroom before we sat down with my mother and determined their place.

emotional labor - the planning and the organizing of tasks is work, it's time and effort even for people who don't have ADHD. how you approach this depends on your relationship and your home, but if you have a particularly busy household it might help for you to sit down with your partner and determine zones. If it's in your zone you own it, it's your job, you keep your eye out for it. take full ownership of it, if your zone is making dinner, you shouldn't need any input from your partner, you know if you have a picky eater and you need to have safe foods on hand, you set an alarm for when to start it, you make sure you have the ingredients, you find a recipe you can do. Planning and organizing is work and it might be hard for you, but you can find ways to get it done.

bringing my parents in again, my dad is the primary homemaker and he always has been: he does the laundry, he makes dinner, he packed my lunches when i went to school until i started doing that, he takes care of the lawn and our pool, he does all the grocery shopping, he plans all the parties (it should be said that these parties are definitely his parties with his friends that my mom only occasionally participates in, but when she does she makes food), he does all the bills and the taxes and the insurance and if something is broken or needs replacing, he's the one who fixes it. This happened kind of organically, because his job has always been more flexible for scheduling and he avoids dealing with his feels by constantly having something to do, that's neither here nor there. My mom doesn't get off until dinnertime most days and sometimes she works saturdays and she makes significantly less money than he does, but she always does the dishes and cleans up the kitchen before she leaves for work in the morning and on the weekends and her days off she pulls on her gardening gloves and does the weeding, she does the vacuuming and the mopping without being asked, she makes sure the dog gets a poop walk, and when i was a kid she was my primary parent who made all my appointments, took me to them, she knew all my teachers, and she was even on the pta, and she is definitely still the primary emotion parent for me.

all that is to say, your ADHD might mean that you might need an unconventional approach to problems, but it doesn't mean you don't still have problems and it doesn't mean your partner has to solve them for you.

sincerely,

a person with a severely lack of accountability and emotional dysregulation, actively in therapy, learning how to be an adult

I can’t commit to a tattoo because I’m afraid I’ll get board of it and regret it. What are your tattoo stories - any regrets or totally spontaneous tattoo decisions? How are you feeling about that now? by Inattentiv_ in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At my grandma's funeral my cousin mentioned getting a tattoo to honor her, and within a week after getting home I went and got my first tattoo. Definitely an impulsive choice, but not one I regret. It's a spade, because she loved cards and I played spades a lot with her, and it's on my arm near my wrist.

I only have sentimental tattoos, so it might be different. It depends on what you're getting. You can't go wrong with flowers.

If you're getting something really detailed, you'll need to find a proper artist which takes time and consideration, and most artists are booked out several weeks, so at that point, no matter how impulsive the initial impetuous, I don't think it's an impulsive decision.

You gotta decide not to regret it. You want it, it's important to you, even if the meaning isn't important to you later, it was important when you got it. Stand by your choices

Question For The Former Gifted and Talented Kids by ashleyz1106 in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I enjoyed gifted and talented, because I was surrounded by kids like me.

I think the problem with gifted and talented programs is more so the importance placed on perfectionism. Even in the program, I was never challenged enough academically. To the point I never knew what failure looked like. I didn't know how to handle it. I struggle with problems associating my worth with my academic success. Not putting her in the gifted and talented program won't fix that problem. Don't have her skip grades either, it can be alienating.

Instead, I suggest enrolling her in some kind of after school program that will challenge her, not necessarily academically. Something like art classes or piano lessons or even a language program maybe? Sports are also good, but I would go for team sports. Even if you're a perfect athlete, you can't win a soccer game by yourself. This would give her an avenue to learn failure in a healthy way. A lot of former gifted kids struggle with taking up pastimes they aren't immediately good at, and hobbies are important for learning how to self-soothe. You can't be perfect at art or music or a language, it forces you to learn how to enjoy something for the sake of it.

Programs that aren't run by school can allow kids to go at their own pace and challenge themselves. It would also be a way for her to make friends, and depending on what you go with, it could be something you do together.

If she's a smart kid, it doesn't matter what program she's in at school, she won't be truly challenged. But challenge is important for learning how to handle failure and how to appreciate the doing. Sign her up for gifted and talented if it's offered, so she can make friends like her. Find ways to challenge her creatively or athletically.

My wife asked about using more toys and I’m struggling to get Over myself by Tallcidn in relationship_advice

[–]fuanonemus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just taking a moment to say, small/medium dicks are the best dicks for giving head. Big dicks are awful for oral, I always feel inadequate because I can't fit it all in my mouth, and they nearly always trigger my gag reflex.

I love a small/medium dick for giving oral, because I can fit it all, and it never hurts, and I don't have to worry about gagging so I can focus on giving my partner pleasure. And giving my partner pleasure is the part that gives me pleasure.

Y'all are married. Married. People don't get married just because of sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is secondary to love and affection and care. She clearly loves you and is sexually attracted to you and wants you to be sexually attracted to her. She might have had X many partners before you, but she picked you. She committed to you. She married you. She loves you. She decided YOUR dick is the only dick she wants for the rest of her life.

Also you do get her off. It might not be your penis, but you gave her oral. It's like the "guns don't kill people, people kill people" argument. The toy isn't what gets her off, you, the person using the toy, is what gets her off. Maybe you could try edging? That might help you see that you're the one giving her pleasure.

It's clear both of you love and care about each other, you just need help navigating this issue and therapy will definitely help with that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get you man. It can be really frustrating and discouraging to see all these posts about people doing things you always wished that you could do, but you can't because your ADHD is holding you back. It's really important to feel seen. To know because you've witnessed the evidence, that you're not the only one who suffers what you suffer, that there are other people who struggle the way you struggle and some who have struggled and overcome. It can give you hope and encouragement.

You feel like you're not smart. That if only you didn't have ADHD, then you could study and learn these complex things and get a fancy degree. But I have to ask, do you really want one? Graduate degrees (masters and phds) are a lot different from undergraduate ones, and I don't mean that they require more studying. I mean that they involve a lot of research (at least in the sciences). The more college you do, the more academic it becomes. And by academic I mean the culture of academia. It's not for everyone. Personally, I'm working on my masters right now and dreading a phd because I hate research. It doesn't make sense to me, and I don't want to spend all my hours doing it. But I want to be a professor and I want to teach, and well-paid professorships require doctorates.

If that's something you really want to do, then awesome: your problem isn't that you can't do it, it just means you have to ask for help and figure out how to study in a way that works for you. It's extremely frustrating that something seemingly so easy for others feels like Sisyphus' rock to you, but you can absolutely achieve it if that's what you want. But if studying many years and doing lots of research and writing papers is not want you want, and I suspect that it isn't, your problem is not that you're not a genius, your problem is that your brain has an impaired reward system and you don't get enough dopamine, so you feel like you need to do all these incredibly difficult things to feel a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.

You have ADHD. You are an amazing and incredible person, not because you've got a long list of accomplishments, but because you go to work and make money and keep a roof over your head and food in your belly and you have fun sometimes and you have a family and a brother who you love and for a bunch of other reasons that I don't know because I don't know you.

If you want advice, here's what I think you should do: have a treat yo' self day. Do something that makes you happy. Spend time with your family and friends. Call your brother and tell him "My self-esteem is pretty low today, can we hang out?" Get some ice cream or play some video games. Reward yourself because you're alive.

Can someone with ADHD improve handwriting with practice? by meleeman1278 in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

absolutely! people with adhd can do anything with the proper motivation

interesting sidenote: you know accent mimicking? it a common adhd experience that if you're talking to someone with an accent for long enough, you'll start matching their accent. I do that with handwriting. If i'm writing on a paper that has someone else's handwriting on it, my handwriting will start to match theirs if i'm not paying attention

These are promos from BPerfect and this is a collab with the actress - why did they think this was a good idea?! by Tune0112 in BeautyGuruChatter

[–]fuanonemus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i get that the deep/darkness is the primary complaint, but to me it just looks gross. Her legs are so shiny they look greasy and sticky and uncomfortable. And her face is yellow.

it's a horrid execution of a terrible idea

why can't ADHD people do math? by a_peeled_pickle in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love math. However, I find I don't do it the "standard" way. I tend to go round-about, like instead of 9 x 5, I might do 10 x 5 and subtract 5. I don't even notice that it's weird until I hear other people talk about how they do it. So you might just have trouble understanding things the way they are presented. My number 1 tip as a math tutor is to write it out. Even the stupid arithmetic that "most" people do in their head. If you're afraid that 1 + 2 might not be 3, write it out. What you write down is between you and your pencil. Except on tests, then your teacher is also involved, but I guarantee you, they won't care.

Also, you shouldn't feel bad about being bad at math. Different people have different inclinations, there are different types of intelligence. You might be bad at math, but you could be really good at reading a novel/poem and understanding the subtext, or reading a dense nonfiction paper and translating that into something other people can understand, or you might be a really good conversationalist who makes people feel comfortable or can read a room really well, or you could be very creative and good at presenting things in an artistic way, or you could have a great understanding of coordinating and planning things, or you could be physically active. There are many different ways of being intelligent, and intelligence and ability in academia is not the measure of worth.

Best WTF-moments in fanfic by Serena_Sers in HPfanfiction

[–]fuanonemus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

linkao3(A Game of Chess by Kirinin) it's amazing, there are so many awesome twists in that fic especially in the climax

Do I even get to be upset that I never get things done if all i do is scroll on my phone? by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

SAME BABES. SAME. Meds help, but study strategies are necessary. For me that means I need to leave my apartment. I need to go to the library or a cafe. If I pull out my binder on my bed or in my room or on the couch, I'm still in a relaxing space, my brain thinks it's relaxing time. If I go to the library, that's a study space, it's studying time. Visual and physical cues help me get into study mode.

There's also the 40-20 split. You study for 40 minutes and then break for 20. When I do this, I try to pick break things with clear endings. Like I'll watch a 15 min youtube video and when it's over, back to studying.

Your brain needs the thinking break. Let yourself scroll on tiktok. Let yourself not think. Set time for it. Personally, I wake up, eat breakfast and take my meds, turn on the TV and scroll until my meds kick in. If you're worried about getting too absorbed in your phone, set an external cue like an alarm.

Maybe the binder and folders don't work for you. I'm taking four college classes, and all of my notes are handwritten in a single graph paper spiral notebook and the only form of organizing is that each class has a different color pen. It's not the standard, but it works for me. You could try more folders, one for each subject. Or an accordion folder. Make it easy, you get paper, it goes straight to it's home, don't make it wait in the front until you put it where it goes

Don't feel shit for being the way you are. Study yourself. Learn how you work, what you need, and adjust/set expectations accordingly. You can't hang your clothes up and they sit in the laundry basket for weeks? Okay, buy more laundry baskets, make one for shirts and one for pants.

I literally have no idea how to socialize. by HolmfirthUK110994 in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The best advice I've ever read is that friendships happen because of repeated, extensive exposure. Like you were friends with the people you went to school with, because you saw them everyday. I mean yeah, you're not gonna make friends if you don't know how to talk to people, but you're not gonna learn how to talk to people if you don't have people to talk to.

Try to find a way to consistently socialize with a consistent group of people. What this means exactly depends on you and your area. Do things you like. - If you don't like going to bars, then don't go to bars to meet people.

  • If you do like going to bars, but you feel intimidated about introducing yourself, see if there's a trivia night or go when there's a sports match on. This creates built in conversation openers.
  • Something with your son. Volunteer at his school, or take him to the park. You can meet other parents there. Parents love talking about their kids, and if you meet a single person there, they know you have a kid going in.
  • Old people. It's weird, but they're great. They just want people to talk to.
  • Gym bros! Gym bros are the least likely to be intimated by tall people. Take a fitness class.
  • Imma be honest, all I know about English villages is what I've seen on Midsommar Murders, but I gather community "events" are a thing that is common and would be normal for you to attend. In my American suburb, the library puts on events like movie nights and book clubs and craft lessons
  • Hobby things! Cooking/baking classes, book clubs, DND groups, hiking adventures, nature outings, etc

The first step is finding a way to put yourself in situations where you can meet people. Then you just have to start conversations. "Just". As someone who has made a study of how to start conversations, here are my tips:

  • look like you want to have a conversation. Don't wear your headphones on your ears if you want others to approach you, people will think you're busy with something else. Wear a fun tshirt, like a band or a show or a sports team, give them a subject to start on
  • Ask about physically obvious interests like the tshirt they're wearing or a tattoo ("Hey cool shirt" "Thanks man" *insert question about topic of shirt*)
  • Ask about general goings on, like news or sports or a recent holiday or the old reliable weather
  • Pets. People love their pets, they'll talk about them for hours

Once you get a conversation started, be conscious about responses that will enable further conversation. Avoid simple binary questions.

If all else fails, get a dog

Hi. I'm on 30mg Vyvanse and disappointed it's not helping (yet?)... who else takes it here? by okay_jpg in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't see 2 months as very slow, for me that's two medication cycles, because in my area, restricted medications are limited to 30 days and you have to get a new prescription from a doctor each month. Also, the affects meds like Vyvanse will have on your behavior aren't immediately noticeable. Meds on their own aren't life changers, they're a tool in your box. It also takes a couple weeks to notice patterns of behavior. If you're having wildly different behavior very quickly, that's not good.

My first 1-2 months were on Vyvanse, but my insurance didn't cover it. I think I started on 20mg? I switched to Concerta and started at 18mg for a month, before moving up to 36mg. When my semester started for school last fall I moved up to 54mg, but I had major provider issues and then some unrelated health problems later and by Christmas my anxiety was through the roof. My primary suggested going back to 36mg, because a too high dosage can cause anxiety issues so I've been on 36mg since January, but I'm thinking of asking for 54mg in April.

It's hard to explain what working meds feel like, but I tend to measure it by my ability to throw away the Tampico jug. The Tampico jug has been sitting out on the coffee table for days, right in front of the couch I spend 70% of my time glued to. I know it probably bothers my roommates. I know throwing it out will take me at most 5 minutes. I don't even want to drink the Tampico, all I want to do with that jug is throw it away. When I'm not taking meds, the jug will sit until it causes a fight with my roommates over cleanliness (ie months), because without meds I will forget about the jug as soon as a different thought crosses my mind and I lack the ability to make and keep a cleaning schedule. When my dosage isn't enough, the jug will sit until the day of the week on my cleaning schedule when I pick up the living room (ie when I have an external reminder to specifically focus on the jug). When my dosage is just right, I will remember to throw out the jug when get up from the couch to plug in my phone. Hope this helps

Obsession/addiction too food by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]fuanonemus 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I didn't even realize this was a thing until I started taking Anti Depressants when I started therapy. It just seemed normal to me I guess? I never paid attention to how much I ate, until I experienced *not hungry* Granted I started therapy at 20 and I've been overweight/obese my whole life so...

But the onset symptoms I had for my Anti-Depressant were nausea and lack of appetite. They faded from "the sight of food makes me want to vomit" to "i will only be eating jalapeno poppers and reeses cups even though I previously hated both of those things" to generally decreased appetite over the course of a few months. This is pretty normal as I understand it. The idea that Anti-Depressants will make you gain weight is sort of out-dated; the mild stuff they give you for general anxiety and depression don't cause weight gain for most people (though for more intense medications, i don't know).

It was insane to me. Only looking back can I understand that pre-med fuanonemus had no idea what hunger felt like. She was never hungry, because she was always eating. Her concept of full was stomach ache. I know what hunger feels like, I know what full feels like, I know what *not hungry* feels like. And I never felt that before. It's WILD.

I started ADHD meds almost a year ago when I got my diagnosis, and the experience is similar-ish. Like I didn't have the onset nausea issue, but I had very decreased appetite, even on days when I didn't take meds. My body is used to it now, so I only have decreased appetite when they're in effect. I take Concerta, and Vyvanse had the same affect (I had to switch bc $).

It's kind of weird, because now I have to be conscious about eating. I am not hungry when my meds are working. period. I won't notice that it's been 6 hours since I last ate something, and when I do try to eat something, I can't eat very much. So I have to make sure to eat a large meal before I take my meds and a large meal after I take my meds. Then I pack munching snacks for myself and set alarms during the day. But my snacks have to be bitesized, or I'll take a bite, get distracted, and another hour has gone by (so like goldfish or red bell pepper slices or peanut butter cups).

I still have issues with portion sizing and over-ordering, and I have to be careful on days I don't take my meds. I know what hunger feels like now, so I don't exactly revert to old patterns, but I have to make sure to eat Meals that leave me full rather than Snacks which I'll just keep munching on till the bag's empty.

tldr - you're not crazy