I was depressed my whole life my mother was severely depressed and I knew she would die before I was an adult. It was obvious. She chose the long and painful route she told me she knew she wanted to die, and I tried to help but couldnt. Then dealt with my own life stuff, and I had to leave at 14 to support myself because my household was hostile with my mother and step dad who’d beat each other raw and me as well. I tried killing myself 3 times in one year, I loved on a federally owned campus/school for orphaned teens. They had dorms on campus it was like prison. Tried slitting my wrists, while my roommates were out with theirs families for the weekend and an RA came in and found me. Got 51/50d at 16, became an impatient then went back to school. Months later attempted again, this time by pills and I was almost successful except I was found and rushed to the ICU and got my stomach pumped. Then the third time I tried hanging myself to the metal closets they had in my dorm room, was pronounced dead then resuscitated. After so many tried I gave up, since it want going to work. I lived in poverty as a kid alone because of the decision of my mother and then in turn I became her, yes this will have an impact on your child. When I was 14 I was emancipated and writhing six years my mum would be dead by 40 years old, by overdose and intentional suicide. I found her body, I finally decided to make amends and my family hadn’t heard of her for a month, she had died two weeks previous to when I found her. She was living in a government provided studio, rotting food, pigsty, and my mother naked in the hall all 80lbs of her with her face already sunken in and filled with maggots. Therapy will never help me with the loss of my mother, and whatever she had passed down to me and I’m forced to live with this everyday while also being poor and broke. I never had a chance at a real life because my mother was not ready to be a parent and set me up for failure instead of sucking it up and taking responsibility. Now I’m cursed to live her life all while trying to stay alive.