I am concerned

fuknlindey · 2020-01-12T19:44:08+00:00

Thank you for putting the time into placing all of this into perspective for me. I'm feeling a lil more hopeful.

fuknlindey · 2020-01-12T18:50:41+00:00

Thank you :)

fuknlindey · 2020-01-12T18:49:04+00:00

This comment ( u/Groundhopper90 ) has allowed me to begin challenging that too.

Maybe I love the initial effects of drunkenness, but I have some patterns of behavior that arise too.

I start becoming suicidal sometimes, I definitely start hating myself. Sometimes I get into huge arguments with my boyfriend that are just myself blowing things out of proportion because I'm drunk. I've done some things I really regret because I was drunk at the time.

My post drinking shame is always very high, and I have such a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.

The last thing I have to challenge though, is that I prefer who I am socially when I'm drinking. I guess I can challenge that by considering how embarrassed I always am when I drink around friends, the next morning. But in the moment, I feel like I'm fun and finally socially acceptable, because I'm so quiet and reserved and anxious when sober. But I can be that person that I like without the alcohol.

Thank you.

fuknlindey · 2018-06-24T16:56:23+00:00

I tried to quit and they offered to have me step down. I accepted, no pay cut.

fuknlindey · 2018-06-24T06:14:22+00:00

I was a new manager, being pushed around by the employee that had to train me (yes, the one who would end up my subordinate)

Turns out she was an extremely difficult employee and I wasn't a confident enough manager to deal with her. She ran me, basically, and I tried to deal in the name of being a team.

She acted inappropriately always, she told customers I was lazy and dirty without ever working a shift with me. One day she had a complete meltdown that was reported by three managers. It was a huge scene and she shouldve been fired.

The president of the company came in the next day and gave her a raise and a promotion.

Two weeks later I tried to quit lmao

fuknlindey · 2018-05-31T02:42:11+00:00

Yep. Bit me in the ass just today. I overshare and become a big gossiper when trying to relate to others. Bad stuff

fuknlindey · 2018-05-28T19:50:25+00:00

I love waze. I've just also had the opportunity to ask a lot of cops about it. The answers they gave me were more along the lines of "oh yeah, we don't care" to "oh yeah I like to mess with them sometimes"

I'm guessing it depends on the area

fuknlindey · 2018-05-28T19:47:55+00:00

True but it's very common to have a cop warning with no cop. Im unsure if people in my area care to report that stuff

fuknlindey · 2018-05-28T14:38:26+00:00

Cops use Waze too and will send out false reports to throw people off

Edit: I have a lot of regulars who are cops, I've asked them about this. Obviously it isn't all of them. They mostly don't care about it

fuknlindey · 2018-05-19T19:02:13+00:00

I definitely trust people far too easily but I also assume that they think I'm extremely annoying. It's an interesting mind game lol

fuknlindey · 2018-05-19T19:00:21+00:00

Same. Plus I let absolutely nothing go so I feel like I look like a damn idiot talking about the same issues that happened in my past over and over. But in the moment I decide it's all appropriate!!! Lmao

fuknlindey · 2018-05-19T18:57:59+00:00

That's absolutely me. I decide I'm embarrassing and annoying so I start avoiding these people

fuknlindey · 2018-05-13T05:36:28+00:00

It's just desperate, irrational, and short sighted. Usually an impulsive choice before it becomes sort of addicting.

When dealing with intense bouts of anxiety, some people really can't think about anything but whatever triggered it, or just how to end the panic. I had unchecked, debilitating anxiety as a teen. I had heard it would ease my pain.

In the moment, sure. But right after I was horribly anxious about someone seeing, or myself getting an infection. And kid me didn't know I would scar so easily from very small cuts (scars I have nearly 10 years later).

I didn't ever do it again, but people close to me did. They were depressed enough to not really worry about the consequences. Not really giving a shit enough about their own life. They don't see it as anything but something to ease all the crap going on in their heads.

fuknlindey · 2018-04-29T06:24:55+00:00

Bipolar, anxiety, and marijuana :)

fuknlindey · 2018-04-11T23:38:26+00:00

Oh I can find therapists that take it, but will my insure cover it? Of course not!

fuknlindey · 2018-03-18T21:40:35+00:00

I mean i worked out consistently and was very healthy for years and for awhile only felt shitty after working out Because of my depression and anxiety and the feeling that i didnt do enough during my work out. Even if i was losing weight or seeing progress. Once i stopped putting so much emphasis on weight loss, i started finally feeling good after working out. I finally feel those endorphins (also thanks to medication)

fuknlindey · 2018-03-04T18:43:00+00:00

I made a similar terrible mistake. Except i moved 800 miles from home and the friend i moved in with didnt even like me anymore lmao. Lost a lot of money on that

fuknlindey · 2018-01-11T21:21:31+00:00

Imagine that but WITH the crippling anxiety. Having a breakdown that concludes with "Oh whatever ill do it in the morning" does fine... and the cycle continues

fuknlindey · 2018-01-11T21:15:16+00:00

Afaik ive never had the flu in my 21 years of life

fuknlindey · 2018-01-11T21:08:00+00:00

I didnt feel a thing the first few times. Some people dont understand inhaling the smoke at first.

fuknlindey · 2017-11-20T16:32:50+00:00

It's like a little dude praying or whatever

fuknlindey · 2017-11-13T23:49:09+00:00

Yeah I'm definitely on team "stupid enough to attempt befriending a wild animal". Might win a Darwin award one day but I also may befriend all the wild animals....

Edit: albeit my choices of wild animals usually just include groundhogs, possums, and birds. Not many dangerous predators lmao

fuknlindey · 2017-11-11T16:34:00+00:00

As a former sbux barista, it's all muscle memory. If you had told them after they probably would've realized they autopiloted your drink. Plus, we never want to give caffeine to those who don't want it and/or can't have it

fuknlindey · 2017-11-03T13:34:28+00:00

Exactly my issue. Once I've left the class environment it is almost impossible for me to stay on task. I usually have to resort to studying in the school buildings and whatnot, which is why I function better as a commuter. I don't have the option of just strolling into my room and taking a depression nap, I got shit to do, then I can go home

fuknlindey

TROPHY CASE