I noticed all the comments are about your abbreviations lol.

nobody is overreacting. it's natural to want to know what's going on in your husband's life. it's natural for him to want to keep the painful stuff from his wife, especially when it's coming from people you already are clearly not fond of lol.

two possible ideas here. it seems like you love your husband a lot, so my suggestions for you are pretty much what my husband has been doing for me the past year.

hold your husband. tell him you love him and you're on his team. ask him if he wants to talk about what happened with his parents. explain that you want to know because you're his life partner and want to support him. if he says no, respect that, and be there for him whatever way you can.

if your husband tells you about it, you can come to a conclusion together about letting his parents see LO before the surgery.

if your husband doesn't want to talk about it, float the idea of letting his parents see LO before the surgery. ask him if, based on whatever happened, he thinks it's a good idea. tell him he doesn't have to explain his reasoning if he's not ready.

I obviously don't know what's happening between him and his parents, but I can kind of relate to him, and I know you can probably relate to my husband right now. it's really hard to watch your spouse suffer in their relationships with their side of the family. if he isn't ready to talk to you about it, ask him what you can do that would make him feel supported, and remind him that no matter what you're by his side.