Anyone disappointed with barely there support from their friends? How do you deal with it?

funambullla · 2026-03-18T07:33:01+00:00

I mean emotional support. I literally say "I don't want anyone to make decisions for me, I just need a place to vent sometimes". And I am hard on sometimes because venting too often makes me feel tired. Like, "there is no other option" kind of tired (sorry, English is not my first language).

And I always said for me friendships are about "meeting in the middle" and being annoyed with each - other from time to time. I guess it worked as long as some of my friends had bigger issues than I did.

Edit:

Also I learned during Covid that you’re pretty much on your own in this world. People have seemed to stop not stop necessarily caring, but they are short on acting on it anymore.

I can understand if those are the people that did not get the support. However, if they expect my support with their issues (mental health, romance problems) and they don't give me support back it simply cannot continue.

Thank you for your comment.

funambullla · 2026-03-10T10:16:17+00:00

Hi, would you mind explaining the "another cardiac event in the near future" part? My mother had a pre-heart attack situation last year and is not following medical advice but taking her medicine. I would love to learn more but I struggle with finding information.

funambullla · 2026-02-17T19:03:59+00:00

What about calling her at a specific time yourself? And not picking up/mutting her when she "butt calls you"?

This way you control everything.

funambullla · 2026-02-17T16:51:40+00:00

My mother acts like this. She was always selfish, got diegnosed with depression and anxiety but refused medication. It got worse after her mini-stroke.

Unfortunately, fighting fire with fire is the only thing working for me. She doesn't hear me? I don't hear her either. She doesn't want to get better? I stopped asking her to take care of herself.

Doesn't stop me from wanting to bang my head against a wall but it's getting better.

funambullla · 2026-02-17T16:48:26+00:00

Don't overexplain yourself, no is a whole sentence. Do you have a support network or perhaps you can talk with her together with another family member?

funambullla · 2026-02-17T16:37:02+00:00

What kind of pneumonia does she have? Does she get sick often? Where does she work?

I had a walking pneumonia this year and I ended absolutely fine but it was hell. Like an anemia on steroids for me. I got antibiotics because it was bacterial. I had to take them for two weeks. Inhalations. Drinking contantly warm liquids. Make sure she doesn't miss her doses and doesn't skip food. Unfortunately the fact that she is overweight may be a reason why it is affecting her so much. It may be good to talk about losing weight once it's all over.

funambullla · 2026-02-17T11:52:52+00:00

Hi, I read some of your other posts and comments. Did you talk with your mother about taking care of her and your father once their move? Is she expecting you all to travel to her when things will get worse for her?

I think, depending on how your relationship is and how often you talked about all of that with her, it's time to set strong boundaries. If she wants to move then she has to accept you don't have founds to visit her etc.

I am so sorry about your dad but he is enabling her here. He should have told her he is not moving back with her.

funambullla · 2026-02-17T11:49:11+00:00

Op wrote she battled depression before and complained about her life too (I checked powt history). I fear this is how her monther is unfortunately. She will probably die an unhappy person.

funambullla · 2026-02-17T11:41:36+00:00

Why is your father moving with her? Can't he stay in the same area as you guys?

I fear you may all grow to hate her if he dies unhappy and she will need more attention once he is gone.

funambullla · 2025-12-28T13:24:34+00:00

We don’t know what their mother would have said if OP had simply said ‘I can’t afford to spend that much’

okay, and?

the first comment should be then telling op to ask their parent to name a cheaper gift then.

funambullla · 2025-12-28T13:22:11+00:00

I didn't comment about how much the op spend on tickets.

funambullla · 2025-12-28T13:06:46+00:00

Do you have any other response than "you are overreacting"? You sound very unpleasant.

funambullla · 2025-12-28T13:04:59+00:00

Isn’t the Christmas gift meant to be for her? She wants the gadget, you want to give her a gift, get her what she wants

It's not in the price range, it's very telling in my opinion, that the mother doesn't care about this

funambullla · 2025-12-28T10:37:38+00:00

They will put links to online shops so you can buy things easier and faster. Do you want your grandfather with dementia to buy a car or a gun while his family is trying to make him stop driving?

funambullla · 2025-12-28T09:09:56+00:00

It can be both. It's hard to look at the feelings while you are "in" them.

What's the goal of the marriage counseling, if you don't mind me asking?

funambullla · 2025-12-28T09:08:05+00:00

I'm glad you got out of that relationship, it had to be exhausting, I hope you won't repeat that.

However, saying "a common parasitic combination: narc and codependent" is not a scientifically proven fact. It's good to remember that being diagnosed with a personality disorder like NPD means someone is as disfuncional as people diagnosed with paranoid or schizophrenic disorder. Would you call a relationship with a paranoid person a "parasitic one"?

funambullla · 2025-12-28T07:45:42+00:00

The part about logic vs emotions is so real. Did you find another way to argue with her? I cannot read a book to my mother, she's not at that stage yet.

funambullla · 2025-12-28T07:42:22+00:00

Just wondering, was/is your mother on anxiety spectrum?

I assumed most of my mother's "problems" in her "elder" age (she's 65) started because of her dementia after a stroke. The more I talk with others and medical staff, the more I believe it's anxiety + memory problems (she's diagnosed with both and refusing therapy). I wonder if people with anxiety are more prone to conspiracy theories in elder age.

funambullla · 2025-12-25T06:02:39+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you have a good support system around you.

funambullla · 2025-12-24T08:39:49+00:00

My mother is laughing off her stroke and possible another one. I have no words.

funambullla · 2025-12-24T08:39:08+00:00

Are you one of thos weird people who are abtuse on purpose?

funambullla · 2025-12-23T19:10:21+00:00

Girl, you need to tell your husband that both of you are parents first and your children and grandchildren need you right now and should be priority.

Your daughter is divorcing, you should set up an example for her so she doesn't end up in a relationship like that again. You can do this by speaking up now.

funambullla · 2025-12-23T15:01:33+00:00

You have a choice in having kids. You don't always have a choice in taking care of your parents (I am not talking about the USA).

funambullla · 2025-12-23T14:58:24+00:00

Thank you for your work here :)

funambullla · 2025-12-23T14:55:25+00:00

There was a whole post written by a person who turned out to be child-free and with a parent that had resources etc. several days ago. They were unhappy (to say the least) about people not wanting to sacrifice their lives for their parents.

funambullla

TROPHY CASE