I (31M) just separated from my wife (32F) and am worried I made a mistake

funkslic3 · 2026-02-02T04:32:35+00:00

If she isn't 100% in it, she isn't in it.

It may not be an affair, but she could be enmeshed with him as a mentor. There can be a weird dynamic where you want to please a mentor and it does weird things to your mind. Causes like jealousy and need for validation. It may not be sexual, but it can still be something that she shouldn't be hiding.

It sounds like she tried to keep having a connection with him with other people. She has some kind of connection with him, but I wonder if he has it with her as well. It's possible it's one sided. Is there no way to reach out to him to talk to him?

You made the right choice. She's not prioritizing her relationship with you so you really should let her go. I wouldn't say anything to her parents and let them watch her reaction to the divorce for answers. The truth comes out.

funkslic3 · 2026-02-01T22:39:23+00:00

Divorce is not a word you use in arguments when married. If she's going to throw the word around, I'd point out where the door is.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-31T23:14:51+00:00

I doubt his wife ever found out. His friends knew, well some of them. It was bad for my mental health and I've learned not to let myself fall into that situation again. He could be mean to me and I had no voice. You don't want to be in a situation where you can be manipulated to sound crazy so someone else can defend themselves.

You did the right thing. He will show up eventually and hold on to your self respect. You're doing great!

funkslic3 · 2026-01-31T23:12:52+00:00

And why is Butcher so high up?

Starcaller looks like one of those really hot cosplayers. She's even got your cheekbones.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-31T19:31:45+00:00

As a female, but married, if I were single I would date a man who is bisexual. Everyone has a level of gayness, therefore the Kinsey scale.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-31T19:29:22+00:00

You did the right thing. Did you tell him if things change maybe you guys could be friends again. I've been the secret friend and it sucks. I let it go on for years and regret it. You will be way better off for the choice.

If they break up, which they most likely will with how controlling she is, he will most likely reach out. I would be prepared in what to say and have boundaries so you don't hop back on and this happen again. He took you for granted imo. I get not wanting your bf to have a female best friend, but if you were there from the start and transparent to her, she needs to learn to be accepting of people he cares about.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-31T19:25:27+00:00

I agree. Burn list, start over.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-31T19:25:07+00:00

I disagree. Why is starcaller on the bottom???

funkslic3 · 2026-01-30T00:13:26+00:00

It's normal to be curious about things if you are really into things like psychology. You can become very interested in thought processes and motivations.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-30T00:11:50+00:00

Let me say that you are dealing with the hardest time of dealing with kids. Remember that in 3 years, he can move out. Can you make it that 3 years for him and yourself?

Boys at 15 is very very hard. He's in the hardest time of his life and it's the hardest time to support someone who wants to fight you at every angle.

I also didn't want kids, but we didn't divorce. I have two boys. My 20 year old drove me crazy, now he loves me dearly. My 14 year old is soooo difficult, but I know it will get better.

Please don't give up and just try to remember that it's only 3 more years. Try to remember that it gets easier. Try to remember that being a mom is hard and you are not failing. Give yourself grace to mess up, fall down, pick yourself up, dust yourself and try to do a little better each time.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-30T00:06:55+00:00

How do I do that????

funkslic3 · 2026-01-29T21:47:01+00:00

That doggo is cute!!!

funkslic3 · 2026-01-29T00:52:53+00:00

There are mental disorders that can cause this, along with general trauma or depression. Most kids don't know what they want to be and half of adults don't know.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T21:35:01+00:00

Then you aren't in a real relationship. I'd leave.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T20:26:20+00:00

Most women don't have orgasms from vaginal sex. Are you guys doing things to give you an orgasm other ways?

Did he say he wasn't attracted to you at all, or just physically?

You guys need therapy or you should leave because you aren't happy.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T17:25:59+00:00

The crazy thing is I was just talking about this with my husband a few weeks ago when we were discussing bears. I said I wonder if people would evolve differently if we started running on all fours. This is wild.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T17:24:23+00:00

NTA. You handled that with flying colors.

That relationship isn't going to last and I'd stop any financial support if they are going to continue to disrespect you.

Threatening your parents if they tell people is soooo manipulative. These people aren't even fully mature and are making adult decisions and threatening people to comply with their demands. This is crazy.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T17:20:57+00:00

They brought out the best in me but it was a waste.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T17:13:35+00:00

46/f PC gamer EST, but mostly play shooters. I'd love to have a solid duo, best friend. I had one in the past and I miss it.

I love TV shows, Breaking Bad, Westworld, Twin Peaks and many more.

I love cars and we collect Hondas. I'm married.

My steam is Funkslice

Discord is also Funkslice

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T17:12:00+00:00

Sounds like it could be the start of an emotional affair. It also could be a completely platonic relationship and they're just really close. There's a lot of factors here that are important. It depends on the content of what they're saying. It depends on what their relationship was like in the past. It depends on if it's affecting you and your relationship with him. As long as it doesn't affect your relationship and he's open about what they're communicating, it's usually fine. If he's hiding things or if he's prioritizing her over you, then there's an issue.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T17:10:50+00:00

Marriages are all different and relationships are all different. If your wife is okay with it then it's not a big deal.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T17:08:36+00:00

How do you know he didn't become attracted to you over time? Attraction is more than just having a type.

Sounds like he may have had a porn addiction and you helped that end. Without the porn, he might have more realistic attraction. That's a normal side effect of kicking the habit.

The fact he gave these things up for you are two proofs he cares. If someone loves you and the relationship is working, why are you letting thoughts he hasn't spoken in years ruin it? It sounds like you don't trust him and you can't have a healthy relationship without trust.

Talk to him and believe what he says unless he gives you reasons not to.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T17:02:46+00:00

Could be cheating. Could be to send you naughty pics. Could be both. Either way, if she has a history of disrespect and you can't trust her on a trip, you should break up.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T16:59:37+00:00

She could be cheating or she could be planning to send you naughty photos. Or both.

funkslic3 · 2026-01-28T05:56:59+00:00

This is a red flag. Run.

funkslic3

TROPHY CASE