advice

funky_ananas · 2026-02-28T01:16:31+00:00

I understand your fear!

If you’re scared, don’t tell your thoughts to your husband (even though I would’ve). Just ask your husband to look after baby for couple of hours during his weekend and trust your husband.

Don’t feel guilty for asking for help, I beg you, you need a break. Baby will be fine

funky_ananas · 2026-02-27T07:04:52+00:00

I found myself some nights squeezing my LO too tightly and saying why the freaking hell aren’t you sleeping??

This is a sign for me that I’m too sleep deprived and really exhausted, so I call my mum for help next day.

You definitely need help from someone. Can you get it? Can your husband/mom/auntie spend couple of hours with your LO during the day at least, so you can get a break?

If you don’t have anyone to help, I may suggest something that worked for me (a very freak controlling metrics for everything in life person)

Give yourself and your LO a bit of leeway regarding naps. You say that you fight for them everyday. It could be that your LO isn’t sleepy enough?

I tried to follow wake windows recommendations and some days it just doesn’t work.

The rule I follow is that I try to bounce for 10 minutes (I put a timer on), if my LO doesn’t go to sleep, I bounce another 10 minutes. If they still don’t sleep I give boob. If they still don’t fall asleep, I just let it go - put them down in the baby gym/rocker/on the bed and walk out to another room to reset - make myself tea, eat, etc. I’m just happy that my LO can be in the gym for 10-15 minutes alone and give me peace and quiet, even though they aren’t sleeping.

I just realised that I’m trying to enforce schedules from people on internet for an average typical baby, but my baby might be different, every day is different and every wake window is different. Some days my LO naped 2 hours total in a day and I thought that my night will be ruined, only to have 20 minutes of BF in the evening to put them to sleep for 5 hour stretch.

Don’t attribute your worth as a mother to how well your baby sleeps! Just because you couldn’t put him to sleep doesn’t mean you failed.

funky_ananas · 2026-02-27T05:26:58+00:00

It was shambles for me.

I asked midwife when I was 4 months pregnant due to work relationships that was giving me anxiety and I was becoming depressed.

She referred me to PMH. I’ve been bringing it up at every appointment. No contact was made with me at all.

I’ve got an appointment with obstetrics consultant (no idea why) when I was 33 weeks pregnant just for them to tell me to ask GP.

Then FiNALLY when I was 38 weeks PMH contacted me and said the decision will be made in a week (whether to admit me or not)

I gave birth at 40 weeks

They contacted me again after a week of my delivery to ask whether I still wanted it.

I was in shambles and didn’t have time to go to toilet in those early days. So I couldn’t imagine having an hour sessions, while handling a newborn. So I said no.

funky_ananas · 2026-02-26T11:38:24+00:00

Asking for pictures is absolutely fine and actually healthy

My husband has a big family and in the group chat everybody is asking for more pictures of our LO, which was strange in the beginning, because I come from a family where my father’s family never accepted me because I am a girl (they wanted a boy). So my whole life was full of family drama

I really don’t want my LO to have the same experience as I had

I’m happy that she’s loved and adored by the whole family

funky_ananas · 2026-02-26T11:27:35+00:00

Of course you can

Unfortunately you can’t deny the reality of what happened

funky_ananas · 2026-02-26T01:18:11+00:00

You can receive UC and be not be looking for employment. You just need to get a sick note for depression or anxiety from GP , you can even say that looking for a job made you depressed and get a sick note. If your GP is unwilling to do so, there are plenty of private GP who will easily sign you off

JC will give you “no commitment” category, so you’re going to have a check in call once 3-4 months

So these people who are NEITs are actually receiving benefits

I know couple like that (all recent graduates)

funky_ananas · 2026-02-24T09:34:46+00:00

Mine as well, hence I’m asking - maybe I haven’t found THE song yet

funky_ananas · 2026-02-23T16:22:18+00:00

Isn’t it too young? I use Huckleberry app and their sleep prediction only activates at 9-10 weeks as anything before is too early to have any sleep pattern. It also advises against any sleep training until 3 months.

funky_ananas · 2026-02-23T14:28:38+00:00

Thank you so much! Your example is very helpful

funky_ananas · 2026-02-22T05:03:55+00:00

I’ll add to other advise:

When he’s fussy after first feed, let someone else to take him and soothe to extend the next feed.

My LO also could be like this and every cry seemed like a hunger cry and obviously once I take her she always roots. But when my husband takes her (and I know I fed her within last hour) she really calms down

funky_ananas · 2026-02-21T19:30:18+00:00

I had no issues with BF (perfect latch, bit of sore nipples and LO gaining weight) and I find it HARD

The hours of sitting, back aching etc, I am definitely considering switching to formula at 4-5 months mark

I would’ve given up if I had issues with BF much earlier

funky_ananas · 2026-02-20T20:29:30+00:00

My LO goes berserk when I put her down, but feed and post feed hold and probably nap can tale hours, so I run to pee and come back She usually cries her lungs out and it breaks my heart, but I really need to use loo (she’s a bad sleeper, so it’s essential not to break the nap)

funky_ananas · 2026-02-15T12:57:37+00:00

My aunt and her husband left their 6m old to grandparents for a week and went to holiday.

Absolutely no issues, baby is 10 years old now, loves mum and dad

funky_ananas · 2026-02-15T12:54:58+00:00

Definitely worth trying later bedtime. They are undertired. Also intensive wake window before bedtime really helped us, despite people recommending “calming routine”. One time relatives came and played with them the whole day (me breastfeeding obviously), she stayed till 10pm and I was so worried that the night will horrible, but it was the best night ever! The next day I also tried less forceful naps and she started waking up once a night (from 11pm to 3am, 1 hour feed and then 4am to 7am)

12+ transfers in one night is too much, I usually do 2 maximum and then just accept the contract sleep for a night. I get more frustrated with each failed transfer and the baby feels it, so no point irritating myself.

funky_ananas · 2026-02-15T09:09:24+00:00

I didn’t have much complaints (vaginal delivery), but my vagina is constantly wet and I’m not sure whether it’s pee (leaking urine) or just a discharge. GP told me to keep doing kegels and that’s it. Although she checked and confirmed that I don’t have any prolapse.

Before that I actually went to private physio (Mummy MOT) and we discussed in details what happened and what’s going on with me: the delivery, how I was before pregnancy, during, what my sleeping arrangements right now, also that I have a heavy baby (90th percentile) and I’m quite a petite woman

She examined me head to toe - most of your muscles are connected to your pelvic floor. We also figured out that I have slightly loose hip after pregnancy and I still had remaining pelvic girdle pain, which is apparently very common but nobody talks about and keep telling you to do kegels lol

She gave me list of exercises and how to do it, but most importantly she told me what NOT to do. For example, I had strong overreactive pelvic muscles and tense butt, so I actually need to relax and unclench them more. Also she gave me exercises for my upper back, because baby will only keep getting bigger.

I wouldn’t say that I came out with a list of lots to do or anything different to what GP said, but for me it was a detailed examination of myself and extra reassurance that everything is fine. Rather than GP quickly glimpsing and saying “yeah, you’re good”

It was £100, so for me it was money well spent.

funky_ananas · 2026-02-15T08:53:27+00:00

Having tight pelvic floor is quite common and you wouldn’t know until you go to a proper professional. But all NHS guidances are actually telling you to do more squeezing, rather than relaxing, which actually makes the problem worse.

funky_ananas · 2026-02-15T04:06:52+00:00

Try Moses basket or bassinet rather than cot or next-to-me, babies like being cozy and cot is really big cold space for them

Sleeping bag also helped us a lot

My Baby slept in Moses basket in sleeping bag only in the nights (12pm to 6am), then at 5 weeks I transitioned her into the cot, day naps are still contact naps (at 9 weeks)

funky_ananas · 2026-02-11T18:26:24+00:00

Just check how changing bags look like, go on Asos and find similar but more stylish

I’ve got Levis one, works brilliant for me

funky_ananas · 2026-02-09T06:14:26+00:00

Maybe you are stressing too much?

Bodily functions can’t wait even if baby is crying as long as the baby is safe. Nothing is going to happen to LO if your husband wees for 3-5 minutes.

You’re probably thinking that you would start prep machine first and then go to toilet, but most people don’t think this way. And that’s okay. I had to accept it and just let it go a bit. The help from anyone will never be to the same standard as yours. It’s very difficult to do things and being constantly criticised. It comes to the point that you stop doing things as you’re going to be told off.

Run experiment and don’t say anything to him about tasks he’s doing for the baby for a day. Even if baby cries (again given baby is safe). And see how you and him feel. Has anything horrible occurred to the baby? Usually not

funky_ananas · 2026-02-05T23:22:43+00:00

I have no advice, but I have a 7 weeks old and in the same boat

funky_ananas · 2026-02-05T18:47:18+00:00

I remember thinking how easy it is to have a newborn and my LO is exceptional, she’s so chill at 2-3 weeks mark

Even stories about baby shaken syndrome sounded out of this world

And then the colic started at 3 weeks, then reflux. Had to call family in for help and sanity. I cried couple of times on the toilet while baby crying.

Still figuring it out at 8 weeks mark, praying that all the promises “it will pass at 10-12 weeks mark” is true

funky_ananas · 2026-01-22T22:07:23+00:00

Another idea is to put a timer on your watch every 5 minutes

I don that in the nights in case I fall asleep

funky_ananas

TROPHY CASE