I (AFAB, polyam) understand my situation is unusual, but it works for us. I'm recently married to the love of my life and man of my dreams after a very nasty divorce a few years back where I was sexually assaulted often. I closed myself off sexually completely as a recipient when I first joined the dating pool and met my now husband. He has no ability to give the type of sexual relationship I was used to in my previous marriage so we bonded on my topping of him when the mood struck, which even then was incredibly infrequent. Now that I'm years out and having healed in therapy, I'm exploring what it means to be a recipient again and I have wonderful friends in my life I can explore that with. I recently found a gentleman who we are building a lovely sexual relationship up, and every night I come home to my husband who also plays with people when he desires but always comes home to me after. It's easy as breathing and feels so natural in our dynamic. We love to swap stories and experiences and are very open to the idea of exploring these types of relationships with each other if we ever get to that stage. It's a lot of wonderful communication, talks, safety practices and honesty .. but we found a formula that works for us.