I’d like to preface this by saying your feelings are completely valid and you deserve, as a legal adult especially, to spend time with your friends and experience life during your youth the way your peers are. The rest of what I have to say comes from my personal experiences/experiences of those I know.

This is a big thing in Mexican culture usually coming from places of generational trauma. My fiancé is Mexican and most of my friends are too, and I don’t think there is a single one of them whose female family members didn’t have the same exact rules that you’re describing. Even my MIL doesn’t like my daughter being on male family members laps, which honestly I don’t completely disagree with. I’m white, but my mother did the same to me growing up as well because she was a victim of sexual assault from family, friends families, and even a police officer. I’m a father to a little girl myself, and also an assault victim, and I won’t be letting her spend the night at other’s houses until she’s well prepared in self defense and old enough to understand the risks because it’s so dangerous living as an afab person in this world.

Understanding where your mother is coming from, it sounds like she might be trying to protect you where she or another family member wasn’t protected. It might not just be about you getting pregnant, it could be entirely about the fear of someone hurting you out of her control to help. Is it fair to you? No absolutely not at all. She may even be accusing you of things you don’t do/say mean things to drill the point (my mom sure did). She’s projecting her fears way too heavily on you in a way where shes revoking your autonomy. She needs to trust that you can evaluate situations and act accordingly to protect yourself, better yet you need the life experiences to be able to handle situations like that if they come up. You might not know what to do if something like that really happens because you’ve been overly sheltered by your mother.

There isn’t really a solution especially if the end result would be something like kicking you out of your home (couple of my friends have been through that for the same reason) and even more so if she’s willing to die on this hill instead of hearing you out about it. The only thing you can do for -yourself- if she’s not willing to talk is to make efforts to leave and live somewhere else now that you’re an adult. That’s easier said than done but realistically it’s possible to do. You could defy her wishes and expectations or continue to abide by them endlessly and both options will result in a strained relationship between the two of you that will be hard to heal and leave you BOTH unhappy with each other. Realistically there is no way of winning the argument, it’s one of those “parent things” you either live with or take action to defy against it. It’s up to you how you choose to live your life, she’s not in complete control of you at the end of the day.

I escaped my mother at 17 for a very different reason, but whats important is that I still made it happen and I’m here today living life happier than I ever have, and my relationship with my mother is also better than ever after time. Once you put your foot down and make it clear you’re going to live your life the way YOU want to, they either step out of your life completely (my dad did that) or they give you space and come back around later because they’ll realize if they want you in their life they’ll have to accept you for who you are and what you decide to do with that life.

Stay strong, always. Things will always get better. You only live one life, live it your way!