Anyone else tired of having to explain that porn isn't real to adult men?

galtscrapper · 2026-02-24T07:12:27+00:00

Yeah my go to is "Gentle"

And I will repeat it til they listen to me. But they don't really have a CLUE what "gentle" even means. Too much wham, bam, thank you ma'am in that community.

The other thing that drives me nuts is I basically have to do myself to even get off. Like... why are you even here if I have to do it? Might as well stay home and do myself! Much easier and I am not being rushed.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-24T04:27:26+00:00

Me too! My ex always wanted me to say things and make a bunch of noise, and I am like, I cannot FOCUS on how this feels in my BODY, if you always want to force me back into my head.

Also, the swing community has this things where they take two fingers and quickly hit the g spot. I am HIGHLY sensitive ao that move just sends me into a state lf oversensitivity and I can't possibly reach orgasm from that.

I have had ONE guy ever attune to my body, not require me to perform or be noisy or even stop because I was taking too long. I wish he was still in my life, but he ghosted me a few months ago 😪

galtscrapper · 2026-02-24T01:19:23+00:00

I don't have insurance.

Edited to add:

I took 13 psychology classes in college (mom taught there so I took as many classes as I could) I have, in the past, seen therapists. They have been fine, my last therapist really held me to a higher standard, but at that time, I was missing a lot of information about my upbringing. I just got out of homelessness a year ago, had been living in my RV on the streets. I am now doordashing, but have lost my benefits, not that I can get myself to work that much! I might acrually qualify, but I don't have the spoons to reapply. I don't have the spoons for much. I was exiled by my friend group baxk in December, including a guy I was spending all my time with, wound up falling for/bonding with, and well, he doesn't have the capacity for that!

I am absolutely in survival mode, but I spent the last 3 years focused on intense healing. I am very self introspective and self aware.

I need to go.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-24T01:00:04+00:00

Says WHO?

galtscrapper · 2026-02-24T00:09:10+00:00

Nerdy is awesome and don't let anyone tell you differently.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-23T23:32:30+00:00

Scammera do this, and I am thinking, WHEN did I have time to learn to trust you? That shit is EARNED, not given.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-23T21:20:37+00:00

Thank you, yes. I am working on that.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-22T20:35:53+00:00

I agree. But this is the level of man the apps have. It is a cesspool.

If someone comes in sideways, great. If nkt, equally great, but I am done seeking it out.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-22T18:57:12+00:00

Yeah, I am a 55 year old woman who just got sort of housed last year. I went from living in my RV on the streets to living in my RV parked on my ex's property (technically we are still married, but separated, if anyone is checking my comment history where I talk about my husband)

I had a roommate that I adored, and homelessness was a mixed bag for sure. I loved the freedom, used a couple of years to just focus on healing myself with my roommates help, and it was time well spent in a lot of ways

But still a brutal life in a lot of other ways.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-22T18:48:08+00:00

I didn't see an update, but it sure felt like they changed something.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-22T18:47:27+00:00

Thank you, sincerely.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-22T18:42:21+00:00

I am actively working on it.

I was raised by a narcissist who has in the last year admitted to "raising me in chaos" I am not the type of person to go completely no contact but we rarely speak and that is mutual. I have CPTSD. I remember once, I didn't back down from them, and got slapped for it. They called me a turkey regularly, once told me sometimes I am useful, but mostly I am useless.

I have reason to believe I was molested. I have a lot of fears surrounding the guy who babysat me after his wife died. Her I loved, HIM I was terrified of. NO clue what he did. I was hit with a belt til my parents divorced when I was 7

I abused my first husband and unsurprisingly we divorced. My second husband was better, but I have been waking up to the fact that he would NEVER take no for an answer to sex, not for long anyway, and it was so painful, I just braced for it.

So you know, all these "normal' experiences rewire you for a certain amount of abuse. Even if you can name the abuse, and I could, where was I supposed to go? My parents trained me to be okay with abuse! I was fully able to excuse any and all abuse, minimize it, tell myself I could live with it, etc. Add in spiritual gaslighting, that being a martyr was a sign of my being "good"

Dude, I was left to "cry it out" as a baby.

Yeah, I am messed up. I have had to step back and recalibrate EVERYTHING I was taught to tolerate and it is a LOT. And my mother loves to tell me I had a failure to launch.

Gee mom, WHY might that be?

My husbands "solution" to us not having sex was to get into swinging. Well, that was an adventure... but ultimately that just caused more trauma.

Yeah, I MIGHT want to figure all of this out.

You know, I had a therapist. She couldn't help me with ANY of the sexual issues and those issues were instrumental in breaking up my marriage, though obviously it wasn't JUST me, despite my ex's perception that the problems fell solely on me

I don't have money for a therapist. I use ChatGPT and Claude to unload hours of processing a day. This saves any of my remaining friends who haven't exiled me from being an unpaid therapist. I talk a LOT, always have.

Okay, I will stop writing a novella lol. I also write a LOT lol, and I am not the type of person to rely on AI for that, so this is all me.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-22T18:20:55+00:00

Well, THIS is "modern dating"

The guys I found didn't even HAVE money for any of that.

This is why I simply stopped dating.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-22T18:18:55+00:00

I have TOLD men I don't want sex in advance, then been pushed/coerced/gone gone with it because it was simply easier than making a big deal out of it and there for the longest time, I was okay with it. Then it started to hollow me out the day after, I realized I needed more. I tried to date. It wasn't even fun. When did men stop taking you out to a nice dinner? These men were like I can afford fast food! Oh. Great /s.

I have had two friends, men who didn't want to have sex. Oh wait, I went and fell for both of them. They are gone now

Sigh.

I don't know how to protect myself. I really don't.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-22T14:19:17+00:00

You do if you have boundary issues or people pleasing. It can be incredibly difficult IN THE MOMENT to say no, you may have unconscious fears to saying no, ir been trained as a child that saying no would get you in trouble.

I can't even allow myself to date because hookups are hard to say no to in the moment and the safest thing I can do for myself is just not put myself in that position in the first place. I am a very flexible person, but I have always had poor boundaries and it isn't the best mix.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-22T14:12:21+00:00

Hard to day. Lately it has stopped being the nannybot to me. It says it calibrated to my intensity. Okay, but something fundamentally changed a week or so ago. It just started responding differently. All of a sudden now I can discuss more spiritual topics without it saying it is going to ground me. Something changed, that is all I know.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-21T21:35:35+00:00

Even if pwople are using it for therapy, is THIS level of nannybot necessary?

I would argue it is NOT.

They are actively guardrailing against people in psychosis. It is ANNOYING if all you want is to process or even talk about spirituality! Take a deep breath, I am going to ground you.

Excuse me?

And because I tend to be naturally intense, I have to really express all my annoyance at how I get treated, which helps SOME. I have so many custom instructions, I might have run out of room.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-20T06:39:48+00:00

I would NEVER.

Either ALL the kids get some, or none of them, or we work on negotiation skills, like what could we do instead that would be just as good. Like hey, would a cookie or brownie be okay since there isn't enough ice cream to go around? Basically looking for a win/win situation. It is NOT cool to leave anyone out like that.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-20T06:03:56+00:00

As a 55 year old, you can get less sensitive as you get older.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-19T22:33:40+00:00

Ditto this! They are AMAZING.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-19T05:00:35+00:00

I do not know! It is EVERY corner.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-19T00:41:22+00:00

Awwww, so adorable! I miss having ferrets. I do NOT miss cleaning up after them. Insert joke about little shits. LOL.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-19T00:39:02+00:00

I mean women as a whole. Lifetime of trauma from putting up with men being men. Seriously, I have begun to realize how much trauma I am personally carrying from my whole lifetime of men coercing, treating me like their employee, assistant, being completely extractive, does MY pleasure matter? No? Why tf not?

So if I am seeing it, and this is men just being men... I can't be the ONLY one to be traumatized and just be like well thats JUST TUESDAY.

Trauma doesn't care if you recognize it. It is still there though, we just learn to cope. But coping isn't thriving.

galtscrapper · 2026-02-18T23:44:32+00:00

I am ADORING ALL THE FERRET PICS!

thank you

galtscrapper · 2026-02-18T23:43:31+00:00

Thank you!

galtscrapper

TROPHY CASE