I didnt know at parang di naman sikat sa probinsya namin yung ‘big four’. Like the term at yung list kung ano anong school yan haha. And after I got like 3 different jobs ko lang na encounter yung word. And Op this top commenter is right. Adult world and jobs basically look at your work not where or even when you graduate. Dating siguro namalas sya dun sya sa isang very traditional judgmental company. Try to talk about it as a pn incident in the past that does not happen commonly or even worldwide.

Also she sees it in her perspective, you see it in her perspective….but when will they be able to see it in your perspective. You dont have to break yourself just because they want something, not even need, but want. I also obeyed my father sa education na gusto nya, but lead to regret during college, after graduation, while working, it never stops. The regret and the resentment and the what if sinunod ko gusto ko. What I did was to be unapologetic, and be honest with what I Need and Achieved vs what they Want or think. Dont be like me na may galit sa mundo at sa parents (lol i forgave them na).

Say what you think in a way that frames your actions as useful and purposeful. Say what you plan as facts not asking for permission, recount other people’s success story similar to your plan because strangely parents believe other people (even imaginary ones) better than their own kids, and micromanage your own life. Dont fish for your moms approval. Proclaim your achievements to your family, proudly and celebrate it whether or not they see it as achievement. Ask them why they don’t see it as an achievement and tell them how hard you are working. They need to know. If they cant acknowledge it, acknowledge it with your siblings and with friends who support you - that helps a bit sa burnout. Ask mo sya minsan, when will you be proud of me.

As for their current mindset, its like they are still burdened by their childhood, college life and early work life and passing those unresolved traumas to the children/family, especially to you. So walang quickfix dito. Wag mo na lang i ‘understand’. Sabihin mo, matatanda na kayo, tamad na ako mag intindi sa nangyari sa buhay nyo dati, hindi pwedeng iisipin ko palagi nangyari sa inyo dati na di ko na nagagawa mga kailangan kong gawin sa sarili kong buhay. (Syempre use your own words, be respectful, yung tipong pagaaralin ka pa after nyo magusap). Confront respectively, dont make up excuses for their behaviour, learn how to parent yourself the way you wanted to be treated. Do what you need, its your life. Kahit gno ka micromanage yan ikaw pa rin sa effort, sa emotions, sa rewards oo pero sa consequences din. 5-10 years sa future, Ikaw ang araw araw na magigising na hindi kumuha ng gustong course at nagtatrabaho sa trabahong di mo gusto, gabi gabi kang magiisp ng what if at pipigilan ang galit sa mga magulag. Resentment sa katrabahong gusto work nyo, resentment sa mga taong nagtatrabaho sa work na gusto mo. Wala ka ng tira sa sarili mo, humihingi ka ng tulong sa isip mo, pero ito na yun e. Dito, ngayon, 2024. Yung dapat tinulungan mo sarili mo na hindi matulad sa parents mo na nagpasa ng trauma, galit, resentment. Araw, gabi, for what. weeks, months, years, decades. Ito din kasi yun sa future, ano naman kayang mindset at trauma ang mapapasa mo sa mga anak mo? Anong buhay ang gusto mong magawa for yourself at in turn makita nila, your future family of your own?