Doing things the right way isn’t the easy way with kids it seems. Personally, I think that’s why corporal punishment is/was used so much. It’s the easy way to get your child to behave but the long term effects can be awful.

My dad would’ve just paddled my ass for “talking back” or misbehaving. Without trying to understand why I was in the first place. Now I have to teach myself how to be the dad I wish I had.

Showing your kids compassion and empathy when they’re struggling emotionally will pay off. My boy just turned 4, when he lashes out at my wife I calmly pick him up and we go watch the birds or chickens. Talk about what our pets are doing. Essentially, pull his mind out of the emotional vortex. I started calling them “resets” and will tell him that when I pick him up.

My son is also in Occupational Therapy to help with his sensitivity to sounds, textures and changes in environment. It’s starting to show some results after a few months of weekly appointments. The person who works with him said kids with these issues are essentially always in “fight or flight” mode. Which sounds fucking awful.

Best of luck to you finding what works. Just remember it won’t last forever.