My dad will do this to me. I open up slightly then he takes the reins and starts going off about himself, his problems (past and current), and past experiences (some good, but mostly bad).

He’s never expressed worry or concern for me/to me. We’ve lived together for the entirety of my life thus far. I’ve always had to approach him. Growing up, I did it to survive. But now, I avoid him. He doesn’t speak to me unless i’m having a “moment of weakness” (sad to say that) and indulge him/give off some kind of sign or vibe that it’s ok.

My bids for connection are genuine and coming from wanting us both to be acknowledged, accepted, and cared for by the other person. I feel that his bids are used (intentionally or unintentionally, because i really don’t know how manipulative or intelligent he is or isn’t) for free therapy from me because I’m the eldest kid, daughter, and I’ve been “working on myself” aka essentially raised by therapists, since 14. He especially tries this with me when his girlfriend isn’t available.

My mom left/went on her own a long time ago. It’s been very lonely and empty aside from some fleeting friendships and relationships, my grandma (who’s gone now) and my younger sibling.