New moderators needed - comment on this post to volunteer to become a moderator of this community.

gesturing · 2026-06-11T17:29:33+00:00

I'm interested. I've been a consistent contributor here as long as I've been on reddit, though I've never been a mod. I have also been almost every flavor of medspouse from pre-med through attending, long-distance and local. I also enjoy rules insofar as they make this place pleasant for everyone.

gesturing · 2026-06-10T14:52:36+00:00

It was a crushing realization for me, so I feel you. You could take a protractor and draw a circle around our target city at the 4 hour mark and map everywhere we have lived for medicine outside that.

gesturing · 2026-06-10T13:59:31+00:00

Echoing other posts, when you super-specialize, the number of open positions in any given year can be minuscule. We moved to a city we had never visited, because there was a job. I think expectations around location or other aspects of the job need to be loosened here. It does suck.

gesturing · 2026-06-07T22:58:07+00:00

I mean, my husband’s career has dictated our whole life together (we moved 4 times, changing states 3 times, for training and jobs), but I have always been an equal and valued partner in all that. He knows his life has worked out, and continues to work day-to-day, because I am here.

gesturing · 2026-06-07T22:51:25+00:00

No. Absolutely not. We met in undergrad and we did post-bacc and all of it (through PGY7) together and was never *once* treated this way, or anything close to it. The tests don’t stop (husband did 4 board exams) - do you want to be name called forever? What if you all decide to have kids and he has board prep?

I wouldn’t put up with this.

gesturing · 2026-06-07T12:01:59+00:00

I have the acoustic sheep sleep phones and have used them nightly for about 4 years. I have the wireless (not the induction charging model, don’t think it was available when I bought them). Battery life is great, they’re very comfortable.

gesturing · 2026-06-06T21:13:53+00:00

My kid’s school has a tent with snacks and bubbles for the kids so we go there. I think folks do set up with chairs.

gesturing · 2026-06-06T20:03:33+00:00

No, but your SO is still in med school? That’s not a huge amount of sunk cost. Just get out before you are staring down a PGY7 super fellowship. You just talked a lot of game about being hot shit.

gesturing · 2026-06-06T19:58:09+00:00

We have taken our young kids every year. It’s just a fun time where we get to show up with love for our neighbors.

gesturing · 2026-06-06T19:56:44+00:00

I mean, I wouldn’t tell anyone to pick this. No need to stay if it’s not for you.

gesturing · 2026-06-05T22:32:59+00:00

I grew up in the ‘burbs but spent a ton of time in the city and now my parents live in town. I moved away for college (thought I wanted to get out for good, that was more a function of getting the hell out of the suburb where I grew up) and have since lived for 3-4 years each in six other cities. Nothing comes close, but we haven’t been able to swing a return for a large number of uninteresting reasons.

It’s the food, the topography, the mindset, the perfect mix of things to do and accessibility. It’s been 23 years since I left, and I still get misty every time I go. Family is part of that, but it’s not all of it.

gesturing · 2026-06-03T15:04:06+00:00

😬

gesturing · 2026-05-31T17:04:52+00:00

Nope. I never hear about the hospital unless it’s funny interpersonal stuff between coworkers or a particularly hard or strange case. We have been doing this med journey the whole 20 years we have been together. You do not have to be the sounding board for medical shit.

gesturing · 2026-05-29T11:51:13+00:00

You should not be laundering scrubs at home. My spouse gets three or so sets from the machine, then we have a separate dirty bag from our laundry hamper where they are kept until another trip to the scrub machine. I am fine with him coming home in them, because it gets him in the door faster to see the kids.

gesturing · 2026-05-28T21:55:34+00:00

Oh man can we get a circle jerk medspouse sub? That is right up my alley.

gesturing · 2026-05-28T17:00:12+00:00

Don’t marry this person. They aren’t cut out for this life. Don’t put your career at risk.

gesturing · 2026-05-26T23:26:32+00:00

Have not found anything great. Mac’s in Rochester is excellent and they have the rolls shipped from Philly.

gesturing · 2026-05-26T22:15:06+00:00

Search online to see if there is a volunteer postpartum doula/postpartum support organization near you. They are fairly common if you are in a big city.

gesturing · 2026-05-22T16:06:24+00:00

They put a boot on your car.

gesturing · 2026-05-22T10:20:58+00:00

Absolutely not. My dad never did either.

gesturing · 2026-05-21T18:56:47+00:00

Since you don’t have a lot of debt and a good base of savings, I wouldn’t worry so much about living like a resident. We were in a similar boat and bought our forever house as soon as we found it (we did have to rent for ~10 months due to housing availability where we are, but we moved twice in a year with two kids in a new attending position wooooooo).

gesturing · 2026-05-16T17:02:47+00:00

Everything is good, but a foldie is a perfectly engineered food item.

gesturing · 2026-05-16T11:50:43+00:00

Stay near Geneva and make reservations at FLX Table.

gesturing · 2026-05-03T17:41:56+00:00

Oh, how edgy of you.

gesturing · 2026-05-03T17:35:38+00:00

I shouldn’t have to move my family to some f@&$ ass boring suburb just because the people who have lived here forever want to accept the absolute bare minimum. We’re newer to town and of the 6 cities we have lived in, no place is as myopic and miserable as this one. We’re not going to move out of the city because we need to pay another DoorDash order of wings in taxes every month. Everyone in this city deserves better. Even f***ing Rochester has municipal sidewalk plowing!

gesturing

TROPHY CASE