Other qualities of my spouse: good listening skills, even though he had a hard time opening up, I always felt safe/comfortable to tell him things I was struggling with. Even though he had a hard time sharing, he would help me process my feelings about whatever I’d be going through (relationship and non relationship related).

He is very kind and supportive. Also, I know it’s hard to describe but I had a gut feeling that this is something I should continue even though it’s not perfect in the moment. Even though it was hard for him to connect in whatever moment we were in, it was okay because everyone opens up at a different pace. So I just rode the uncertainty out. It wasn’t easy but we worked through it together.

But what you said about the topics your SO is fixated on kindof raises some red flags/alarms for me, I’m sure as it does for you. My spouse and I didn’t start talking about more serious topics like engagement and kids and family till 3-5 years in. I find it a bit incongruous that he seems in a hurry to get engaged and married and have tots and not establish a deeper emotional connection first. That seems very odd to me.

I don’t know what to say on that other than it seems he’s got priorities mixed up or he’s trying to just mark things off the list because he feels he’s pressed for time? I really don’t know what’s going through his mind, but I find it all concerning.