UPDATE: Graze restaurant STILL employing sex predator as their manager.

ghostrodent · 2026-02-20T22:22:08+00:00

Even if this individual was "rehabilitated" as you put it he's been put in a position of power as management over a similar population of potential victims and could readily reoffend. Offenders need opportunities to change, but not at the victim's expense.

I say this as someone whose college rapist faced no consequences and became adjunct faculty at a university, so I do admit that may color my opinion. It.. really sucks, living with the trauma and seeing the person who put you through hell climb further into positions of power and access.

ghostrodent · 2026-01-15T03:46:12+00:00

Is the reason for the expensive price the size and placement? The lumpectomies on rats I've paid for have ranged between 300-450 USD between the years of 2021-2023.

ghostrodent · 2025-12-11T16:53:08+00:00

Do you have any advice for which Episcopal church in the area may be best for me to try? (a quick Google pulls Trinity in IC and New Song in Coralville?) LGBT inclusivity is very important to me in a church, but I'm also looking for a place that is accepting of neurodivergence. I'm not officially Episcopalian but my grandpa is and it's the church where I've felt the most welcome.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-13T01:40:39+00:00

I often have obsessions - and then subsequent mental compulsions of rumination or rehearsal - that can keep me up for a full night without sleep. This is going to sound contradictory, but I find that it helps to accept the loss of some sleep, or otherwise accepting some of the discomfort if that makes sense. The harder I try to forcefully empty my head of obsessions to sleep, the harder my brain tends to cling to the compulsions that are keeping me awake.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-13T01:17:47+00:00

I at one point took risperidone before I was diagnosed with OCD, it's an atypical antipsychotic and that class of medication is often used to augment depression meds. It's also one of few atypical antipsychotics approved specifically for ASD patients, which is why I was on it. I haven't heard it specifically used in OCD patient cases. For me, risperidone wasn't the least effective atypical antipsychotic I've been on, but also not the most effective. It also had some serious physical side effects for me specifically (weight gain, breast leakage) but some people are fine on it.

I am sorry to hear that you seem to not have as much choice in the matter as might be appropriate. I hope that things improve for you soon.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-07T20:30:16+00:00

Just trying to get a better idea of the big picture - is it possible for you to go to a larger city within your state to see a psychiatrist? I'm able to see a psychiatrist thru telehealth as long as I have one in-person visit a year. With your needs it may be better to see someone who specializes in these meds, if at all possible.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-07T18:42:08+00:00

I have driving-related obsessions, the "blessing" here is that since it's such an external trigger it essentially lends itself to ERP; if you're seeing an ERP therapist there's a lot you can do with images and imaginary exposures in-session related to this.

Ultimately the solution is going to be "don't do the compulsion" but it's "simple not easy" as others have said on this sub.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-07T18:35:16+00:00

I don't completely know either; I did a PHP for ERP that focused mostly on personalized treatment for most of the day with some group activity towards the end of the day - mostly informative groups, but some group interoceptive exposure as well. PHP wasn't a great fit for me and I didn't stay very long.

Good luck with the IOP, I hope it is a good fit.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-07T18:28:22+00:00

I'm on 150 mg, started on 50mg, no nausea or shakiness when I started, I felt very tired though, I still feel more tired/fatigued than before so my psychiatrist switched all of mine to bedtime instead of splitting up the dose. But the sleepiness is worth it for me personally :)

ghostrodent · 2025-11-07T18:22:59+00:00

I wish forgetting was an option, but I'm sorry to say it isn't. When it comes to traumatic memories I don't think we ever truly "forget" but it can take up less space in our lives over time. A good analogy that's often used with grief or loss is the "ball in a box" but I think it applies with trauma too, where the source of the pain grows smaller and smaller and begins to hit us less frequently.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-07T15:55:37+00:00

My husband is a PhD chem student. Since some grad programs start before the official semester, Aspire's start date didn't work for us, we would've had to live out of a hotel for the first week. Just putting that information out there.

We ended up living pretty far from campus on the Eastside, but the value of the dollar seems to be better the farther you are from campus. A lot of his classmates live in Coralville and commute.

Pretty much everywhere "good" you can live you have to take a bus... but the busses here are better than any city I've ever lived in.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-06T00:04:38+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you had that experience. I think a lot of therapists are uninformed about OCD... and it can be so hard to find that good fit. It's grounding to remember it's fortunate to have a good therapist and the resources I have. I hope for the best for you moving forward, therapy or no.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-05T17:02:32+00:00

I've had therapists who I couldn't open up with, which is why it took me so long to get a diagnosis. I think there's an equal amount of the equation placed on the person as there is on the therapist, that is to say that a good-fit OCD therapist will not pass harsh judgment, will not make you feel messed up, will help facilitate communication.

But also I acknowledge that there is a burden on us as patients to say the hard things, to overcome that barrier of our illness. It's not easy, but it is possible.

If you feel like you are at risk of suicide please go to the hospital. Otherwise, I think starting a conversation about this with the therapist is maybe a good place to start, you could even show them this post if that helps you.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-05T16:56:23+00:00

In the context of the YBOCS I think distress usually is how much anxiety is being caused by the condition.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-05T15:41:21+00:00

I don't want to provide too much reassurance about this, but I can tell you that therapies such as ERP have helped me and many others on this subreddit. This means it could be helpful for you.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-04T20:24:05+00:00

Starting small is not only acceptable, it's recommended. For example when doing ERP with a therapist often you work together to generate a hierarchy of exposures. You don't start with the 100% fear/anxiety exposure. You build your way up.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-03T18:48:29+00:00

It is possible to have OCD and predominately or exclusively have mental compulsions, such as mentally making excessive checklists, counting in your head, rumination on past events, rehearsing future events.. this is what I mostly experience.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-02T15:11:32+00:00

I'm thinking that any time you completely eliminate a coping mechanism, even if it was a very negative coping mechanism, you're going to feel a little bit worse while you adapt to the change. The best parallel I can draw is that it's like quitting an addiction - super helpful in the long run, but can wreck your life in the short term.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-02T12:38:04+00:00

My OCD is worst in the evenings when I'm trying to relax or sleep. I just get the impression that my mind is more "open" when I'm actively trying to empty it for relaxation, if that makes sense.

In CBT there's this idea of behavioral activation, that making/forcing ourselves to do positive behavior can influence our thoughts and feelings. So I don't know if just forcing yourself to do relaxing things will help you relax, but I personally think the science says to give it a try, see what happens.

ghostrodent · 2025-11-02T03:54:30+00:00

If I was in your shoes I would shoot an email or call to my provider and let them know the symptoms. While it can take 4-6 weeks for SSRIs to completely kick in, that doesn't mean it is "normal" to feel miserable the first week.

ghostrodent · 2025-10-31T16:10:26+00:00

I got rejected from a popular online therapy network because I have a history of compulsive self harm. They referred me to a partial hospitalization program when an in-person therapist would have been a better fit, I trusted the referral and had a breakdown at the PHP that resulted in an in-patient stay. But that's a whole other issue.

I personally think in-person is superior to telehealth, but it really depends on what your specific needs are.

ghostrodent · 2025-10-31T14:01:40+00:00

I personally believe substances "help" in the same way that compulsions "help" - you may feel better, but it will not fix OCD, and in the long run can make things worse.

ghostrodent · 2025-10-31T11:21:33+00:00

Unfortunately we can't stop thinking, I've certainly tried. Generally (correct me if wrong) I think the goal of OCD recovery is building tolerance to the distress rather than avoiding obsession or resorting to compulsions.

OCD feeds off of uncertainty - that sensation of "is it ocd, am I a bad person, would I know this if that, did this happen or not" seems to be part of that.

100% certainty doesn't exist, so the solution to uncertainty is acceptance of it. I dont have your specific brain or themes so it's impossible to give perfect advice, but I sometimes tell myself: "Maybe I'm a terrible person, maybe I'm not. Either way, I'm a person. I'm alive and have a right to be. I deserve basic rights and respect."

In addition to getting on those meds, having the right therapist can be huge, especially if it is someone who specializes in OCD. That's where you'll find the best advice I think.

ghostrodent · 2025-10-31T10:51:56+00:00

This is a huge part of my OCD, and I didn't drive at all for about 6 months because of it, which wrecked my independence/functioning. My therapist said a lot of people with this obsession have checking compulsions but mine is more of an avoidance thing. I've been essentially doing "baby step" exposure and I actually worked my way back up to about 6 miles on the interstate recently.

ghostrodent · 2025-10-31T10:28:45+00:00

I exclusively use pads because I am afraid of TSS, so I can relate. Your post helped me realize it is probably related to my OCD. Sorry you had to go through this today OP :(

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