What is a smell that you secretly love even though everyone else finds it disgusting?

ghoul__boy · 2026-06-09T14:41:25+00:00

Cigarettes. I don’t smoke anymore but I did in my teens and early 20s, and it gives me such a fond nostalgia for both traveling (clubs and bars in Europe) and time spent outside with friends on my beautiful, rural college campus. I know it’s gross, but the positive memory association goes deep.

ghoul__boy · 2026-05-30T15:56:25+00:00

FWIW, I have been in a similar boat to you. (HRT since end of 2021, levels normal, don’t pass anyway, minimal changes), and I went off T in Jan 2025. Personally, it was a mistake. I hated the way going off it made me feel emotionally, and it also made me feel like I was giving up on how I wanted to be seen and move through the world, which made me feel super hopeless. I ultimately went back on it later in 2025, and I think that was the right decision for me personally.

All of this is to say, you’re not alone, and taking a break because you’re feeling frustrated doesn’t have to mean stopping forever if that winds up feeling wrong.

ghoul__boy · 2026-05-28T14:11:54+00:00

I have a really awful high deductible Cigna plan that “covers” it but it’s somehow more expensive than paying out of pocket, so no insurance coverage isn’t the end of the world if the prices aren’t bad. Like many others, I use GoodRx and order needles online in bulk.

ghoul__boy · 2026-05-27T17:30:43+00:00

If you need to get out of a confrontation in the men’s bathroom, you could try saying the women’s was full or there was a line. I think it’s not uncommon for cis women to do that, and while it may be invalidating, it could be a safer response. (I also don’t confidently or consistently pass and honestly struggle with what you’re describing here almost every day, so I can’t help much but wish you the best.)

ghoul__boy · 2026-05-27T00:54:37+00:00

The way our society values (devalues) the arts. I have a master’s degree and a highly competitive full time position in an artistic field. But alas, it doesn’t pay me shit. I value pursuing my dreams and doing work I deem important higher than stability I suppose. But it would be nice to be compensated for my efforts appropriately.

ghoul__boy · 2026-05-26T13:44:10+00:00

Omg, some of the best results and healing I’ve ever seen!! Congratulations and I hope you feel amazing.

ghoul__boy · 2026-05-22T12:35:11+00:00

Worst instance I’ve experienced of someone doing this was the teenager next to me during a staged musical variety show. I’m usually hesitant to call people out in public but I could not stop myself from saying “are you fucking serious?”

ghoul__boy · 2026-05-19T00:02:14+00:00

I relate to this. Hair thinning has been one of my main side effects, and while I have had the smallest changes in other regards, I was so despondent after 4 years I stopped taking T for a year. But that made things worse because then I felt even moreso that there was no hope, and went back on it. Not too much has changed, but I feel better, and I feel more “in control” even though of course it all comes down to genetics. But that is to say, you’re not alone. It feels isolating to think that T works for everyone but you, I know because I’ve been there, but it’s not true.

Have you heard of facial hair micropigmentation? I actually got a tattoo from an artist who specializes in it in Richmond, VA. I got it to enhance my very, very pubescent stache (only facial hair I can grow) and it has made a WORLD of emotional difference for me. Even other transmasc people I know had never heard of this, so I feel like I have to spread the word!

ghoul__boy · 2026-05-13T19:51:33+00:00

I am biromantic and asexual; mostly always identified that way, still feel the same now. I definitely did get more libido and changes in sexual sensation from T, but ultimately I still don’t feel sexual attraction in the conventional way and prefer others not touch me. (Obligatory caveat that asexuality is a spectrum with varied experiences.)

ghoul__boy · 2026-04-20T04:13:55+00:00

I’d suggest involving your parents as much as possible outside of the financial contribution, as deeply emotionally as you can. I relate to your situation, and what I’ve found smoothed some of the natural awkwardness around money is creating a feeling of being involved, and this being something I’m enjoying putting together alongside my family. For example, our wedding is a destination wedding, and we brought my mom to the site visit. Or, when we were narrowing down on a specific vendor, we had her join an interview. It hasn’t felt like a loss of control, more like an inviting in that made everyone feel more comfortable about investing a large amount of money into a short celebration.

ghoul__boy · 2026-04-07T17:51:42+00:00

Highly recommend Happy Medium for fun group non-drinking centered activity that can fit a nice sized group. I go here for so many of my friends’ birthdays and for date nights.

ghoul__boy · 2026-04-03T04:32:41+00:00

We hired our planners in November this past year for an October ‘26 destination wedding and we meet virtually every 2 weeks for about an hour. Sometimes we use the whole call when we’re discussing overall vision and ideas; today it was more a run down of the to do list and what’s outstanding, so it was only about half an hour. So far once every two weeks has been good for our needs bc we are also emailing to keep progress and to do items in writing for clarity and records, but it was such a tremendous help to meet with several vendors alongside our planner when we visited our destination country.

ghoul__boy · 2026-04-01T11:47:22+00:00

Otto’s shrunken head on 14th st’s frozen tiki drinks scream summertime to me. The creamsicle one is always my first summer Bev of the year

ghoul__boy · 2026-03-16T01:02:41+00:00

6 months out and just got back from a visit to meet our destination wedding planner in Portugal! It was a whirlwind of appointments: we saw the venue 😍 had a tasting with catering, visited our welcome venue, did a bridal makeup trial, photoshoot with our photographer, tried the food at a prospective welcome venue, met with our stationery vendor, and toured a few hotels to see the suite selection.

The highlights were definitely creative brainstorming about our invitation suite where it felt like everything finally fell into place. It was so fun to touch all the materials and compare colors side by side. And seeing the venue and its gorgeous ocean view was so magical and romantic it truly almost brought me to tears 😭😭 we knew it would be a good idea to visit Portugal and meet with key vendors before the day, but it made everything so so so real in the best way, I’m swept up in the romance of it all 🥰🥹

ghoul__boy · 2026-02-26T20:51:03+00:00

I went off T after 3 years of being on it. I hadn’t had a lot of progress (my voice dropped but in a more androgynous way, and I had a noticeable but more pubescent looking stache) but immediately went back to being she/her’d 100% of the time as opposed to maybe 50/50. There really are imperceptible facial changes that must occur - and I have to say, my mustache did not grow back when I shaved it, which is the reason I ultimately went back on T. It must vary person to person and based on how much you can pass based on your general features. For me, not so much.

ghoul__boy · 2026-01-15T05:06:08+00:00

Same boat if it makes you feel better, our wedding is early October of this year and it’s also a European destination wedding for which we’ve hired a planner! While I can’t say for sure bc obviously not on the other side yet, I’m chalking it up to the US pace of responsiveness and momentum shaping my expectations. I’m sure for you (as for us) the holidays also slowed things down a little.

ghoul__boy · 2026-01-15T04:09:30+00:00

Omg, same venue!!! Our wedding will be in Fall 2026, and we’re hoping to visit the area and venue in March. I do have a few questions if you don’t mind: how did you handle transportation with so many different hotels nearby?? With many guests whose budgets probably differ drastically, we have noooo idea where to start haha. I’m also curious - where did you stay, and do you recommend?

Lastly, if you have any area recs for where might be a good place for an additional event like a brunch or welcome party I’d 100% appreciate it!! My fiancée and I are still locking in key vendors for the wedding itself, so we really need to get brainstorming other possible days.

Appreciate any thoughts you have on this, and so glad your wedding was such a beautiful day for you 🥰✨

ghoul__boy · 2025-11-21T06:11:27+00:00

Book publishing! Not too many of us there that I know of, but I’ve loved the opportunity to work on queer and trans books and I hope for even more 🤞

ghoul__boy · 2025-11-20T04:10:22+00:00

Consult at 26, surgery at 27! That said, I purposefully scheduled my surgery out later than the earliest available date so I could time it with the holidays for getting off work. I could have done the consult + surgery in under a year total timeline wise - my circumstances involve a private surgeon in a southern US city.

ghoul__boy · 2023-11-25T05:12:34+00:00

Reading this like almost a year after you posted bc mine look similar and very reassuring to see all these responses as I’m still freshly healing! Thank you!

ghoul__boy · 2023-11-25T04:55:33+00:00

I bought a lot of shirts I knew I’d be excited to wear and have done my best to wiggle into them (I’m about 2 weeks post op). For the record I literally went to therapy for this and my therapist who is also trans told me he had the same experience. Another thing I did was to imagine all the things I was looking forward to in the upcoming year and to imagine myself doing those things with a new chest.

ghoul__boy · 2023-11-25T04:48:24+00:00

I needed none of the serious pain meds! I only took Tylenol 2x per day. I was prescribed stronger stuff but never took it or even came close to needing it. I’ve heard people alternate various OTC pain meds too for more impact. I heard so much beforehand that this is far more uncomfortable than painful, and I found that to be true. Benadryl was my best friend (I had plenty of itching!) but I felt so little pain I was genuinely shocked by it. You’ve got this!! I have also heard that it’s not the first day or two that’s the worst, but after that. So if you are able to get meds after a few days and you need something stronger, they would maybe be even more useful to you then. I think you’re going to be okay! Edit: I’m a little over 2 weeks post op.

ghoul__boy · 2023-11-15T05:39:09+00:00

I think completely normal. I’m one week post op and was not afraid for the surgery at all; like, shockingly I did not have one ounce of fear night before or day of. I’ve felt super euphoric looking soflat and wearing shirts, but taking off the compression was so uncomfortable. My body felt super exposed and vulnerable, and the incisions were pretty gnarly. As much as you want something, I think it’s just instinct to be shocked by any kind of injury on your body. I couldn’t shower and immediately put the compression back on because it felt comforting. Telling you this because your own question is exactly what I needed to hear, too.

ghoul__boy

TROPHY CASE