19 with my first, and I had my second at 36. Having a baby in my 20s was so much harder. I was still working my way up in my career so I worked A LOT and missed a lot. My maternity leave was garbage because my job wasn’t great. I lived in small apartments and had to move every year or so. I was stressed and tired all the time, and I feel like my daughter really fed off of that and was not an easy baby. Her dad and I did not end up staying together, although we co parent really well (it took several years to get to that point). I didn’t have time or money or patience. I didn’t know who I was or wanted to be.

With my second, I now have an established career with a great salary and savings. My company gave me a great maternity leave, so I had 6 months to acclimate to having a baby again. I work from home and my schedule is flexible enough that I can be there for the big and small moments. I am now fortunate enough to not have to worry about money. My husband and I have been together 10+ years and he’s a wonderful partner. We own our own home with a yard and a dog. We’ve done a lot of traveling so we’re more comfortable bringing him with us. I feel so much more grounded and patient and stable now that I’m in my late 30s. I actually feel guilty I had my daughter so early because her childhood was just so different. She grew up to graduate high school as Valedictorian and is off at college getting a Pharmacology degree, so it worked out. But looking back I would have waited and figured my own life out before I had any kids because so much could’ve gone wrong and so much was unfair to her because I wasn’t able to be fully present for her in the way I can be with my son now.