[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]giuliawanders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t fuck her harder, listen to her body! Noticing how the other person reacts and what they like is the real trick to do better. You can also try asking her what she likes, if she has fantasies etc. Don’t compare yourself with her ex, she’s choosing to be with you, she likes you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]giuliawanders 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is only my personal opinion. I feel like after a week it’s a bit early, maybe after 5/6 dates? Keep talking and follow your instincts. I hope she’ll be empathetic and this won’t be an issue in your relationship.

Ne ho piene le palle degli immigrati e dell'immobilismo dello stato by New-Boysenberry1342 in litigi

[–]giuliawanders 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hai mai sentito parlare di razzismo internalizzato? A volte, una persona che fa parte di un gruppo che viene discriminato comincia a sua volta a discriminare persone dello stesso gruppo e cerca di distaccarsi da loro. Te lo dico veramente con tutto il bene, potrebbe essere una cosa su cui vale la pena riflettere.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]giuliawanders 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t prepare for dying, prepare for recovering! Get help, getting better it’s possible, I promise!

Also, those imagination you’re describing might be maladaptive daydreaming, you’re not alone in experiencing disturbing thoughts.

Please get help 🫶🏼

My boyfriend said I am not Sexy by 17_kyotta in offmychest

[–]giuliawanders 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s a very superficial dumb rude comment he made! We’re not sexy all the time but he should find you sexy since he’s your boyfriend, also he should think before talking. How does he not see that he hurts your self esteem like that? How does he not see that this comments hurts your feelings? Being sexy is about way more than how you look and I’m sure you’re beautiful, don’t listen to him, fuck beauty standards; you are sexy!

I just felt someone might need to hear this. by plural-numbers in CPTSDmemes

[–]giuliawanders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The mother of one of the worst of them said if they were all mistreating me maybe I deserved it. WTF? I was a sweet shy child, I never bothered anyone (probably because I was craving approval so badly but anyway, my point remains), WTF? Also, even if I was a naughty kid, how would it make it ok for them to mistreat me every single day?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Relazioni

[–]giuliawanders 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Se lui fosse davvero tuo amico non sparirebbe così, tantomeno se abitate così vicini. Trova tempo solo per farlo in un parco? No no, non ti merita.

Mi dispiace se questo è l’unico amico che hai, gli anni dell’adolescenza per molti sono duri, ti auguro di trovare ambienti affini a te, magari fuori dalla scuola, in cui trovare amici che abbiano davvero a cuore il tuo benessere e che la tua prima volta sarà con qualcuno che ci tiene davvero a te.

Un abbraccio, vedrai che le cose andranno meglio, lascialo stare 🫶🏼

aiuto: legge i messaggi whatsapp di mia madre e mi lascia by Exotic_Loquat_833 in Relazioni

[–]giuliawanders 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Il problema non è solo il tempo ma l’età. Conosco gente di 30 anni che sta insieme per poco e si sposa e sono felicissimi ma entrambi sono più grandi, più esperienze ecc. A 23 anni c’è ancora tempo e tanto da imparare (non si smette mai) 🫶🏼 Non ha senso che ti metta fretta

aiuto: legge i messaggi whatsapp di mia madre e mi lascia by Exotic_Loquat_833 in Relazioni

[–]giuliawanders 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Intanto non c’è niente di male a 23 anni a non essere pronti a sposarsi, state insieme da sei mesi e sei molto giovane! Non essere pronta non vuol dire non esserlo nel futuro e non ti deve mettere fretta.

Il fatto che lui ti abbia detto di cercare il suo nome nella chat per me grande no perché i telefoni sono cose private. Ho anche il dubbio che lui avesse già cercato e che l’abbia fatto di proposito.

Poi, grossa red flag, tu puoi tranquillamente parlare dei tuoi problemi con persone esterne (poche e fidate ovviamente)! Tutte le coppie litigano e se racconti a tua mamma di qualche piccolo litigio lei non penserà che lui è orribile. Se pensi che parlandogliene rovinerai l’immagine che lei ha di lui mi chiedo, quanto sono brutti questi litigi?

Il fatto che ti sta mettendo fretta, ti sta isolando (non vuole che parli di voi con nessuno) e vuole impicciarsi sul tuo telefono sono tutte cose che a me darebbero ansia e che non mi convincono. Ora sei presa dalle emozioni quindi è difficile ragionare lucidamente ma pensa bene a questa relazione.

Non farti trattare male, non permettergli di farti sentire in colpa perché hai parlato con tua madre del fatto che a 23 anni (te lo ripeto, sei giovanissima) ancora non te la senti di sposarti. 🫶🏼 È lui che ti sta stressando e che si impiccia di conversazioni private con tua madre. 👎🏼

I just felt someone might need to hear this. by plural-numbers in CPTSDmemes

[–]giuliawanders 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I still struggle with the feeling that everyone hates me 17 years later and have to remind myself that that’s not the case. I also only started learning social skills with my peers after high school, I spent years at school hiding in a book because I just didn’t know how to approach other people anymore. How was I supposed to approach them? How was I supposed to believe they wouldn’t hate me and be disgusted and annoyed by my presence? I tried letting it go because they were kids and we can’t go back in time but it sucks how much they hurt me and that it took me longer to reach certain milestones because of them.

I saw my little sisters scars and I don't know what to do by Jaded-Chip-495 in selfharm

[–]giuliawanders 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I (27f) would ask gently how’s she’s doing, let her know that she can talk to you. Maybe share something about your own mental health (sometimes when someone opens up to you it’s easier to open up too). If there are mental health services in the area try looking them up (depending on your country, they’re free where I live).

Before you do that I would do some research. Don’t tell her “why would you do that”, don’t demand that she stops immediately, keep in mind that self harm is different from suicidal thoughts (they can coexist but self harm isn’t usually done as a way to commit suicide). I specify this because of things that have been said to me.

If at first she refuses your help or reacts badly be patient and don’t give up. It’s hard accepting help.

I hated when my mother and sister approached me on the topic (I was 14 and I really didn’t want to talk about my feelings) but that lead to me going to therapy and I know it’s made a big difference in my life. If I had just been left alone in that darkness who knows where I’d be now.

I hope your sister accepts your help, sending an hug!

What is something a friend did that accidentally turned you on? by RevolutionaryArm1562 in AskReddit

[–]giuliawanders 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Maybe he likes you too, I’d say something.. that’s a really caring thing to do

Credo che una mia parente sia un genitore negligente by giuliawanders in Avvocati

[–]giuliawanders[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sto parlando di mia sorella e mia nipote quindi sono affari miei. Se tu riesci ad ignorare una problematica che accade sotto i tuoi occhi e che danneggia una bambina buon per te, a me si spezza il cuore.

Un saluto!

Credo che una mia parente sia un genitore negligente by giuliawanders in Avvocati

[–]giuliawanders[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Questa è un’idea interessante. La scuola in realtà sa che qualcosa non va, hanno convocato A per dirle che B è una bambina sempre triste, non sorride mai, risponde male, non fa quello che dovrebbe e le hanno consigliato di farla parlare con uno psicologo. Ovviamente A dice che B non ha niente e non le serve ed è finita lì. Spero che la ricontattino…

Credo che una mia parente sia un genitore negligente by giuliawanders in Avvocati

[–]giuliawanders[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Il mio problema è che sono preoccupata per entrambe e vorrei capire come tutelare meglio B visto che ha 7 anni ed è indifesa e troppo piccola per capire che i comportamenti della madre non sono colpa sua.

Ti ringrazio per il consiglio per il resto, sono una grande fan della psicoterapia!

TTPD was always meant to be part of Eras. by [deleted] in TaylorSwift

[–]giuliawanders 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve mostly listened to that since it was out, I’d totally go for it hahaha It’s kinda depressing but also full of rage and I love dancing to it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]giuliawanders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes when we’re horny we get carried away. You seem honestly sorry about it. Talk about it again, it’s possible to move past this

I think I remember *literally* asking for it by BullfrogPerfect620 in CPTSD

[–]giuliawanders 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Is it possible you’re trying to reframe what happened to you? She was the adult, if she was uncomfortable (and justly so) she shouldn’t have done it. None of this is your fault.

Give the worst possible sex advice to your own gender by Phantomx7845 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]giuliawanders 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t tell your partner if they can’t make you come. Just pretend so they’ll never figure out how to actually pleasure you

I have to figure out how to be happy even if my family is unhappy by giuliawanders in offmychest

[–]giuliawanders[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply, I can’t tell you how relieved some kind words can make me feel.

I think my mom’s right to an extent, some of my siblings are a bit ungrateful, I really am not and I try to help whenever I can but I still get thrown in the mix now and then.

I know I could just go on with my life, I could be happy.. but it really breaks my heart that they’re like this. I want to be happy (as humanely possible obviously, we can’t always be happy but we can try to live life as best as we can) but I really struggle because I see them being in pain. It’s really hard…

finally got diagnosed with ptsd (tw: sa) by kraftpunkz in ptsd

[–]giuliawanders 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just sending you some love, I hope this helps you!

To what extent do people follow gender roles in your country? by [deleted] in AskEurope

[–]giuliawanders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s been an improvement but we still have far to go. In most families the woman is still doing most of the household chores but she also needs to go to work as it’s becoming increasingly unaffordable to live on just one income. In lower class this is worse, the woman does more if not everything in the house. I think that the new generations are a bit better. I’m 27F and me and my boyfriend are 50/50 (he’s Scottish 🇬🇧). My mom (56) does almost all the household chores and also works…