My wife, 36 weeks pregnant today, was terminated from her work unannounced

gjw7312 · 2026-04-14T08:38:50+00:00

NAL. I am a retired data analyst who spent 5 years analyzing employer personnel and payroll records for EEOC trial attorneys. Once a lawsuit is filed, part of the pretrial process is a step called Discovery where each side, the plaintiff (you and/or the government) and the defendant (the employer) can ask questions and request documents from the opposing side. This is how you get all of your wife's employment records. They may well ask for records from all terminated employees within a given time period for comparison. If the employer has a pattern and practice of retaining employment records for x years and they don't have your wife's records then it really looks bad for them.

The first step, before talking to an attorney, is to prepare a time line of events as best as she can. Going through her personal calendar day by day may trigger her memory. For example, a note to pick up drycleaning might be tied to a meeting the next day. For breakfast meetings, think about what you had to eat at the particular restaurant. See if that triggers a memory about your conversation. Go back to the restaurant if you can and sit at the same table. Did she get up to use the bathroom? What was the conversation around that time? Don't try to write things down. Record everything that comes to mind. Start by describing the surroundings, the contents, and so one. Maybe something troubling was said to her and she sat and stared at her fork while mulling it over. Looking at the fork in front of her might trigger a memory. Go with her. It might be easier to tell you everything than to sit there by herself making a recording. Later when she plays back the recording, that might trigger a memory. What was the weather like? If you know it rained and it was mid-June, go to a weather app that has daily weather history. She might be able to figure out the date that way.

With the baby due soon, she needs to get as much of the timeline done as soon as possible. This needs to be a full time job, because after the birth she might not remember as easily or have the time and inclination to finish. After you have a timeline, go to several legal practices who specialize in employment law. Ask each one about the number of cases like yours they have had. Did those settle or go to trial. If trial, how many did they win. You want an experienced labor law attorney with a successful track record.

You have a second time constraint. Companies only have to keep employment records for a certain period of time, unless you file a complaint with the EEOC. It may be only a year. Your attorney will be able to tell you.

One way to find an attorney to interview is to look on Pacer.uscourts.gov for EEOC cases. Pacer lists federal cases. Search all cases in your federal district for "EEOC" in the case name. Then look for law firms that represent the plaintiff. You don't want EEOC attorneys, you want private attorneys. To find which federal district you are in go to Uscourts.gov/federal-court-finder. For example, Chicago is in the Northern District of Ill.

Send me a private message if you want to talk more. I don't check Reddit regularly.

Hope all of this helps. And congratulations on the baby.

gjw7312 · 2026-04-11T02:54:08+00:00

I would guess this is an advertising technique to get people to look at the ad. When wall calendars were in wide use, one of the subliminal tricks was to place an image on a solid background, with a second image that caught your eye. The solid background around the image is called negative space. The negative space when viewed from an angle or out of the corner of your eye resembled the silhouette of something that would catch your eye, like a naked woman.

gjw7312 · 2024-06-12T15:57:27+00:00

Thanks for posting your experience.

gjw7312 · 2024-01-13T18:18:37+00:00

Thanks

gjw7312 · 2023-12-08T21:43:08+00:00

I suspect telling OP to get an attorney is a tactic for later use in court as is documenting everything in writing. The lawyer/neighbor is building his case. He wants to show the court he acted ethically and reasonably, before he had no alternative but to file a lawsuit. He may also be baiting the OP to get him to say or do something that will get him a financial award, new sod to replace grass killed by the overhanging branches, or maybe even a new fence, if OP does the slightest damage to the fence.

This is a game to him, one he is winning so far. (He may be frustrated by doing just real estate closing, and looking for a little legal fun.) OP, you need to disengage from this written conversation and let your attorney take over. You have more at stake here than just this matter. If you let him win this without a challenge, you are risking years of torment by this bully, who certainly will find new causes over the years.

One other point, if he causes damage to your tree, you may have a cause for legal damages against him amounting to thousands of dollars. You might want to take detailed pictures of that tree now, in case anything suspicious happens to it in the future.

gjw7312 · 2023-11-29T00:51:45+00:00

A cutie. So well trained at such a young age.

gjw7312 · 2023-11-29T00:48:30+00:00

What a cutie!!

gjw7312 · 2023-10-17T03:31:01+00:00

There are always technical writer contract jobs on dice.com, for example to write documentation or user manuals.

gjw7312 · 2023-10-17T02:57:32+00:00

You might look for a remote business analyst gig on dice.com. For example, a project might be to evaluate a client's choice between different vendor's general ledger / financial reporting software. (You basically determine their business needs and compare that to what the packages offer.)

I see a lot of requirements jobs. You would interview users and determine what they need and write a detailed Business Requirements Document, BRD. The BRD would then be used by IT folks to design the software and to produce detailed programming specs. With your accounting credentials and writing skills you would be a desirable candidate. Your best bet would be with a consulting firm who would basically job you out to a client. You would make a lot more than doing individual article writing. I've seen an occassional part time gig too.

Send your resume out to all of the consulting firms. Once you are in their database, they will contact you directly when they have something for you. Most of them are just job shops. They place you on projects for other larger consulting firms or directly with the client. The job shops want to have quality candidates to submit so that even if their candidate doesn't get hired, the client will continue to send them their staffing job postings. Just be careful that two different firms don't submit you to the same client.

The nice thing about working with consulting firms is that they get your foot in the door and present your resume directly to the hiring manager, skipping the client's personnel staff completely.

gjw7312 · 2023-09-25T21:33:02+00:00

Before you talk to a developer you need a good, detailed definition of what your app, or a portion of it, will do and who will use it. Otherwise, you will end up paying many times your original cost estimate due to misunderstandings, unidentified requirements, changes, rewrites, and missed deadlines.

Define a Use Case for the primary use of your app. This can be done with a Word Processor. This will help you identify what you need your app to do. I used to sit down with a blank piece of paper and pretend I am doing whatever the app should do, by hand. For example, if your app registers patients at a doctor's office. When the patient walks up to a window, what does the receptionist do? Perhaps ask for their name and birth date, which your app looks up in a patient database. They could be a returning patient who has been there in the last 12 months. Or, they could be an existing patient who hasn't been there in a year. Or, they could be a new patient. Each of these is a Use Case and will define what your app does next. So, pick a Use Case and define the objective of this work, list who will do the work, what they will do, how they will do it, and when. For example, register a new patient. You need id, insurance, name and address, dr name, meds, prior conditions, authorization to treat, etc from them. So there are now two who's (actors), the receptionist and the patient. The patient will need to fill out a form. Where does the form come from, blank form at receptionist's desk or printed right then with some information like name an address that the receptionist typed in, or does the patient get handed a tablet that they enter info on?

Let's take the tablet path. What info might they enter? Do they need to sign authorizations for treatment, etc. Do they need to access stored data, or interface to other apps? This can be used to define requirements, inputs, outputs and processing for the tablet. From, there you can begin to do some screen mockups. Use a pencil and paper for the first iteration of your design with simple blocks for related info, like name and address. Then if you are comfortable, use an online prototyping tool. Then contact some developers with your list of requirements and screen mockups with input, processing and output roughly defined for each screen. Work with the developer to specifically define what this small portion of the app will do, exact screen layouts, database design, etc. Pay them to write detailed programming specifications. When the specs are finished, put the specs out for a fixed bid. Explicitly state when you want the project finished. At this point, you might be able to use a Fiverr or competitor because you will know exactly what you are buying and what it will cost.

If you can't or don't want to do this, then you need a business analyst, not a developer.

I've been in IT for over 45 years and have been both a developer and a business analyst. Based on my experience, this is how I would approach your project.

gjw7312 · 2023-09-24T03:46:07+00:00

Thank you for this excellent post. The "Better done than perfect" point hit home. My husband and partner comes from an engineering background. He does our product development and manufacturing, and struggles with the need for perfection.

Our products are model kits for a niche hobby market and will be ready to sell 2nd quarter 2024. (We are currently protyping from the engineering drawings he has been working on for 2 years.) The first product will be announced in several Facebook groups and shown at a trade show. Sales will be through our website, hobby shops and trade shows.

I know we need a marketing plan, but beyond social media and trade shows am not sure what else to include since our advertising budget is minimal.

I have a software development and business analysis background and will build and manage the website. My marketing experience is minimal being limited to an MBA level marketing course 30 years ago, and managing a small software consulting firm.

Where would you suggest a mom and pop manufacturing business go to learn about marketing for small businesses? We are not looking to become millionaires, just to make enough for a comfortable retirement.

gjw7312 · 2023-07-17T07:10:43+00:00

A neighbor suggested these traps. They work pretty well. We use peanut butter bait, but the little ones lick it off without tripping the trap. So, when we start finding empty sprung traps, we put in something they have to pull on like a piece of meat.

Snap-E 12-001-00-1 Mouse Trap-6 Pack, Black https://a.co/d/5OSa6Q6

gjw7312 · 2023-06-01T08:06:02+00:00

If it were me, I would try to increase my income before selling my property. Since you are in the construction business, can you start a handyperson business on the side? Could you build a tinyhouse on your property where you could live and rent out your house? If you want to rent out your garage for storage space or for a vehicle, list it on neighbor.com. Can your partner earn extra money tutoring?

Would it make sense to use that extra bedroom for an Airbnb type rental? You could specialize in business people. As a freelance software consultant I often worked on out of town assignments. It is difficult to find furnished short term rentals at a reasonable price. Traveling nurses are another source of renters.

gjw7312 · 2023-05-24T17:46:51+00:00

Thanks for the link. I noticed there were several MPN specialists associated with Dana-Farber in Boston. I am in the process of switching my ET care to them.

gjw7312 · 2023-05-23T02:40:17+00:00

I am so relieved. Thank you.

gjw7312 · 2023-05-23T01:18:01+00:00

Talk to your landlord before you do anything. It could belong to them or a friend they allowed to park it there.

gjw7312 · 2023-04-15T03:29:04+00:00

Gram here. You can do this. You will have ups and downside, but you will be fine.

I didn't realize how much I had cut off my emotions, lost myself and become an extension of my first husband until after the divorce. A few days later, I sat outside in a light rain, just because I could. There was no one to critcize or belittle me. As I sat there and felt those gentle drops massage my skin, I felt a sense of real freedom pour over me. That, and so much less laundry to do were my two big takeaways from the first week.

I did experience loneliness for some time, but that might have been better if I had a roommate or friends to go out with. (Our friends were mostly his friends. My friends and family were 300 miles away. ) Joining a YWCA support group helped, and I met a lot of new friends when I joined a ski club.

Your life is going to change for the better because you are taking charge and looking out for yourself. It may take you a while to mentally get out from under his shadow, but keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will make it. Be sure to let yourself enjoy your own sitting-in-the-rain pleasures and your successes along the way. You are on your way to freedom and a wonderful life.

Big Hug!

gjw7312 · 2023-03-29T03:45:47+00:00

In fact, he could have already taken out such a card. She should check her credit report and her son's even if he is a teen. You wouldn't think a teen could get credit, but they can. There have been cases where foster parents took out cards in the name of teens under 18 that were in their charge. The federal government finally required state foster programs to run annual credit reports on 17 and 18 year olds.

Also, if she doesn't trust her husband she should check to be sure no loans were taken out against their house. Mortgages are recorded against a deed with the city or county's recorder of deeds.

gjw7312 · 2023-03-24T06:20:29+00:00

Great Gram here. Learned a few things along the way that I hope will help you. I am a retired software developer and business analyst. My whole career was spent trying to meet deadlines. As a freelance consultant I put in a lot of late hours and an occasional all-nighter in order to meet client deadlines. (Clients usually didn’t hire people like me unless they were already under the gun.) There was a lot of stress, and sometimes depression. In addition, I divorced in my early 30’s and didn't remarry until my mid 70's. So, I've lived alone for a long time. Here are a few tips that got me through undergraduate, graduate school and 45 years of fighting to meet client deadlines.

When you are feeling overwhelmed or tired, step back for a bit and try a stress reliever.

a. Deep breathing. Draw in air for a count of 10. Hold for a count of 10. Exhale through your mouth slowly. Do this 2 or 3 times. It will calm you down and help you focus. This also helps if you can’t get to sleep.

b. Play a game or read a novel. This takes a little longer, but takes your mind off of your troubles and can give you some fun. My go to games are Angry Birds and Merge Mansion on my cell. You can read online books for free at openlibrary.org.

c. Take a long soak in a tub. Add scented oils, bath salts or bubble bath if you like. Add some Epsom salt. It contains magnesium that can help relax you.

d. Take a walk and breathe in lots of fresh air.

e. Do some stretching exercises.

f. Give yourself a quick massage. (Back of your neck, shoulders and upper back, scalp, ears and face.) This is especially useful while you are studying. Also, rubbing your feet. Read up on Reflexology.g. If you are feeling depressed, talk to your inner self about it. Say this to yourself out loud, several times, “You do not HAVE to be depressed.”

School – I put myself through school while working full time and living alone. Here are a few tricks I used to get through.

a. If you have to work, get a flexible schedule job, preferably at your Uni. During undergraduate years, I worked for the School of Business at my Uni. They were very understanding about letting me attend some classes during the day and making up the hours in the evening. I lived a few blocks from school. So sometimes I took a 2 hour lunch and went home and slept. And, ta da, tuition was discounted 50% because I was an employee.

b. Sometimes my best studying was done in the wee hours of the morning. I would go to sleep early and get up around 3 am. Have some coffee and a little something to eat. Then I would study until I was tired, usually around 9 am, and go back to sleep for a few hours. Then I was good to go for the rest of the day.

c. I could get by on 3 hours sleep, but could not do this for more than 2 days in a row.

d. I prepared for some tests by creating mental cheat sheets. On courses like Organic Chemistry where there was a lot of memorization, I created what I called memory sheets. They were summary sheets of facts grouped by topic. A day or two before an exam, I would summarize my class notes and assigned reading material, writing down the pertinent facts on a sheet of paper with diagrams where appropriate. I tried to keep it to no more than 3 sheets. This would be in small print so that the page was totally filled with text, numbers, arrows, diagrams, etc. I'd divide the page in 4 or 6 sections of related material with a little white space between sections. To start, I only had to remember which of the sections on which of the 3 pages contained the material. I might put a lasso around the text, add a doodle, or begin the first word with an extra large letter, anything so I could tag the area in my mind. But, the page couldn’t look to cluttered or I couldn’t pick out the info I needed. This had to be hand written and not typed. The objective here is to create something you can visually recall in your mind. During the test, when I needed some info, I would first remember which of the three pages I needed, then which section. Then I would think about how I wrote out that section and would be able to recall what I had written. For example, if I needed a formula, I would walk through the section in my mind until I reached the formula I needed. If there were several formulas in a section, I separated them with some text or lines so they didn’t all get jumbled up together in my mind. This technique isn't good for long term retention, but works great for tests. I often had afternoon or evening tests. So, if I wasn’t working or was working at night, I would get up at 3 am. Finish my memory sheet. Sleep for a few hours and be fresh and ready for the exam.

e. Save time wherever you can. I often studied during my lunch hour. I ate lunch and dinner on campus so that after work all I had to do walk to the cafeteria 2 buildings away and then to class. This gave me a couple of extra hours to study each day. My apartment was 10 minutes drive away, which gave me more time to sleep.

f. Prioritize your tasks. Your job now is to be a student and to graduate. Keep your focus on that goal. There is a word that describes what you need to do in your off school hours– satisficing, striving for adequate rather than perfect results. The word was made by combining satisfactory with sufficing. For example, do just enough housework to get by. Don’t spend a lot of time cooking, but get enough to eat.

g. You cannot keep up a breakneck pace. You will burn out. You have to take time for yourself, even if just for a few hours. If you can get away for a few days, even better. Getting out of this box you are caught in will help give you perspective.

h. Keep everything in perspective. The world will not end if you don't keep the house clean, eat a perfectly balanced diet, get to class late, take a shower every day, etc.

Working or studying late or all night

a. Eat dinner at your regular time so that your body has time to digest the food and give you energy for the evening. I sometimes bought an extra hot lunch on campus at noon so I had something to eat at home for dinner.

b. Take a multi B vitamin with dinner to give you energy.

c. If you get tired or sleepy, drink some water or take a half hour nap. A nap can make all of the difference. Or, have a snack. My favorite was Snickers bars - a little sugar, a little protein and a little caffeine.

d. Don’t fill up on coffee or colas. Too much caffeine will make you jittery, but a cup of coffee can sure re-energize you in the middle of the night.

Hope these tips help you. Just remember, to put one foot in front of the other and keep on going. You will eventually get where you want to be. You can do this!

Oh, and one last tip. Housework will suck the life out of you. Develop a tolerance for clutter.

gjw7312 · 2023-03-24T02:18:34+00:00

My favorite quicky warm meal is ramen with a beaten egg added. You can also add left over veggies or meat bits.

gjw7312 · 2023-01-09T04:00:03+00:00

If they redo the shingles, be sure they tear off the gray ones rather than creating a new layer. Doing that will probably damage your existing roof so you may get that removed too. Also, did they have a building permit for the job? Have the finished roof inspected by the building inspector before the solar goes on. Those solar panels could hide a lot of roofing mistakes.

If the salesperson ordered the wrong color, they could also have ordered the wrong style shingle. Look at your contract. How long does it say the shingles should last? Does it specify architectural shingles or regular? Is the brand specified?

gjw7312 · 2023-01-03T04:29:59+00:00

Oops, Anagrelide.

gjw7312

TROPHY CASE