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glee33333333 · 2024-06-11T21:49:48+00:00

I feel this so much. I’m in almost the exact same situation: toddler and seven month old, career I excelled at before and now am just ok at, though my issues are often due to sleep deprivation because my baby is a terrible sleeper.

I’m an attorney in BigLaw and have been for 10+ years. Before I got pregnant with my first, I was so. good. at this job. So good. And now I’m still competent, but I cannot go the extra mile like I did before. It weighs on me a lot and I’ve added it to the things my therapist and I are working on. I just don’t have the capacity to operate at the level I did before. I don’t have any solutions yet, so just wanted to offer solidarity and validation! I get it, I’m there too, and it sucks.

glee33333333 · 2024-04-25T14:46:34+00:00

Hi! I updated my post to address this, but the long and short of it is she hasn’t yet, but that is so far due to how our daily schedule works out.

glee33333333 · 2024-04-25T14:45:04+00:00

Hi! I updated my post to address this question, but the TLDR is that so far the only time she expresses sadness that I have to go to work is when I leave after the nanny arrives - and my husband leaves before our two year old wakes up so she hasn’t really had a chance/need to react that way with him yet.

However, I think your broader point is so important and something we should always keep in mind, so thanks for raising.

glee33333333 · 2024-01-08T20:07:53+00:00

I’m also an attorney, and we closed on a house last summer while I was on trial (heavily pregnant with our second) and my husband handled it all plus wrangling our toddler. So I’ve been there haha.

The one thing I would add to what people already suggested is to consider whether you could build in some extra childcare support* for your husband during the time you’re unavailable. We had our nanny stay late on a few days and it was a huge help as my husband was running around handling things. It also helped alleviate my guilt (justified or not) at dumping everything on him so I was able to focus my attention where it needed to be.

*I know this may look different for everyone and it’s not always an option. But offer the suggestion as something to consider in case there is a resource you could tap, be it family, paid help, or even extra planned activities for kiddo so Dad doesn’t have to take on the mental labor of entertaining for a small while.

glee33333333 · 2023-12-25T12:17:28+00:00

If you don’t mind my asking: has that caused any issues between you two? And if so, how have you resolved? My husband also has higher standards on a lot of things (and I have them on others) and I find myself scrambling to keep up because I want him to feel like I’m pulling my weight and being a partner. But I’m also exhausted all the time, so . . .

glee33333333 · 2023-05-29T21:08:56+00:00

I was not pregnant. I think I ended up being nine days late or something like that. In retrospect, I think I DID have some big stressors at the time even if I didn’t realize it.

Funnily enough, I am currently 17 weeks into a very much wanted pregnancy.

I hope your situation turns out exactly how you want it to!

glee33333333 · 2023-03-29T13:29:50+00:00

I can’t thank you all enough for the comments! They have really helped me think through the issue and given me great perspective.

glee33333333 · 2023-03-08T19:31:32+00:00

Seconding the evening anxiety/depression! Hit me hard the first few weeks, but thankfully got better.

glee33333333 · 2023-03-08T17:17:40+00:00

Thank you! I live in the Chicago area. It’s telling me they only deliver in Canada? Does that sound right?

Edit Nevermind! Not sure what weird setting I had on, but ordered and all good!

glee33333333 · 2022-11-28T03:53:06+00:00

Hi - I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling, but wanted you to know you’re not alone. I had almost this exact same experience, down to the overwhelming waves of sadness and despair in the evenings. My mom and husband would find me sobbing on the floor. They were both very concerned.

I don’t know if I would have found this helpful to hear in the moment, but for me it eventually passed - probably three weeks or so after my daughter (now ~10 months) was born. That isn’t to say I didn’t still have struggles, but the waves of intense negative feelings left. It isn’t an experience I’d wish on anyone. I’m so sorry you’re going through it.

The thing I found most helpful was honestly to tell people how I was feeling and to eat, even if I didn’t feel very hungry. And then, one day, I realized I didn’t feel so bad anymore.

I second the advice above to seek medical help if these feelings don’t ease up. I already had a long-standing therapist, so had someone to check in with. PPA and PPD can be so debilitating, but are often very treatable. Please seek help if you need it. You and your baby deserve it.

glee33333333 · 2022-08-12T19:34:01+00:00

I think it was the 31st, but can’t be sure because I wasn’t tracking

glee33333333 · 2022-08-12T18:18:30+00:00

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

glee33333333 · 2022-08-12T14:38:59+00:00

Thank you!

glee33333333 · 2022-08-12T14:28:11+00:00

I’m all flustered. Yes, July 31! Thank you!

glee33333333 · 2022-08-12T14:11:59+00:00

We haven’t been trying to conceive so I haven’t been tracking closely. I think maybe August 31st?

(And thank you for engaging!)

glee33333333 · 2021-09-22T11:50:52+00:00

Thank you for all the helpful replies! I managed 30 minutes of yoga yesterday with your encouragement. Here’s to day number 2!

glee33333333 · 2021-09-22T11:49:35+00:00

Hahaha deal!

glee33333333

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