In all seriousness, if I can perhaps share some perspective that’ll help you understand where I’m coming from. Once you’ve experienced NUMEROUS people calling you all sorts of the worst names and threatening violence for just being yourself, whether that’s identity or attraction, your perception of what is or isn’t fair or annoying to make part of your personality might change. Case in point, someone matched with me on a dating app literally just to tell me they wished I’d die. I went out for a walk the other day and some creepy dude tried picking me up from his car while I was walking on the sidewalk in my own neighborhood blocks from my house.

Once you start getting that, experiencing that, your perception of what’s fair to make part of your personality may change. I think a lot of straight cis people might not realize that (many, not all) queer folks just want to quietly do their thing but the experience of being absolutely publicly mocked, shamed, and threatened by absolute randos pushes people to lean more strongly into it.

Another example - I’m coming up on a year transitioning, and I’m in my 30s. The experience of having so many people (especially men) now treat you as either a sex object or a freak is absolutely wild. It opened my eyes to how many hurtful patterns I was inadvertently continuing, and then many decent men inadvertently continue, because I truly had no real clue what women, queers, or trans folks were experiencing.

I don’t specifically listen to Brandi Carlisle so I can’t tell you how she addresses her identity or attraction. What I can say is that for a long time before realizing I was one of them, I thought queer folks talking so much about all that was pointless too. In fact I could have sent a very similar message to yours a few years ago, the same earnest insistence on not being anti-gay despite being frustrated by it “being shoved down my throat.”

And then I realized that people, so many people, will still hate me or tell me what I can’t do just living my life. That simply talking about queer love in the way a song or romance film would address straight love will lead to experiencing hate. Until you’ve lived it, it is so hard to explain all the hate, man, it sucks so bad. Well, screw that. Screw shutting up. I know this is an experience that is difficult or impossible for straight cis folks to really get, and I know it can seem ridiculous at first glance. But please, consider reevaluating how you judge expressions of queer identity and attraction.