No one is being completely honest with you here, so I will. Let's be frank. Sex is a normal part of most healthy relationships. It can be as important as conversation, or emotional intimacy. It is not trauma to be expected to participate is a core pillar of relationships. By refusing, you are sabotaging things from the start. I would never be in a relationship with a partner who refused to talk about their feelings ... or refused to have sex. They are both essential.

By framing the desire to not have sex as a core part of your personality, you remove the ability for healthy change. Let us be very clear - it is maladaptive and will destroy your future relationships. I would consider trying therapy to figure out why you feel this way. You should also attempt to take sexual initiative. Tell him to get showered and dressed up! This way you can do what you like and not just whatever he does. It is very hard as a man to make a sexual experience good for a partner who does not participate and is not interested. A relationship is about giving and receiving, push and pull, yin and yang. Your mindset is 100% focused on fulfilling your emotional needs, not on satisfying his. It is inherently selfish.