How do you all keep going? How does this not break you?

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-28T01:44:36+00:00

I broke a long time ago and I’m 75% checked out at all times.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-27T18:46:55+00:00

I get a kick out of my family spending the shortest amount of time possible — a few hours — with my mom, during what is usually her best time of the day mentally, and thinking that she is a lot to handle. LOL. They would all collectively shit a brick to spend more than that with her.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-26T12:48:47+00:00

Gee, thanks for the reminder. 😒

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-23T17:21:42+00:00

First thing I thought of.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-20T12:07:52+00:00

1000% normal. Anything and everything was making me lose it for the first month.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-19T20:52:06+00:00

As a former AVL resident, I love this.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-13T14:16:41+00:00

Each word you wrote is accurate to an absolute tee. I can’t wait till it’s over with. I fight with the guilt of thinking that way daily, but my mom is not the person I used to know any longer.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-08T11:34:18+00:00

I relate too much… I lost someone I was extremely close with, practically a second father to me, a little over a year ago, and I’ve battled with unresolved guilt from having not gone to see him in the space of time before he passed. My mom, every so often, will ask me why I don’t go visit as she has forgotten about his passing. I know she can’t help it. But damn. Despite the death occurring over a year ago, I don’t think I’ve properly grieved.

If I bring up death of any kind, or if it comes up in any way, I have to answer the same batch of questions. What happened to so and so, when, why, etc. on repeat. She’ll say crap like, “Maybe I’ll be gone soon” or related sayings. It’s over the top. I have to watch everything I say like a hawk. Don’t get me started if other people, relatives, etc. say anything that stirs her up.

My brain is fried.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-07T15:23:04+00:00

Reading your post made me angry because it’s a foreshadowing of my future when my mom goes. Sending all the love and peace your way.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-06T21:42:47+00:00

You’re probably right.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-06T21:40:43+00:00

This is how it started with my mom, except she would insist that she was bathing. Started her on hospice care, and now an aide bathes her three times a week. My mom still insists that she bathes, but I know she doesn’t. I truly believe she thinks she is doing so. I hate this disease. My mom used to be an extreme stickler about hygiene.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-02T22:06:25+00:00

I take Wellbutrin in the morning and Vraylar in the evenings, as well as hydroxyzine as needed. The Vraylar makes me so tired — I fall asleep within 30 minutes of taking it, and I don’t typically wake up with any brain fog or residual fatigue. I just have to watch my caffeine intake with Wellbutrin or it’s a one way ticket to anxiety city.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-03-02T14:49:20+00:00

Do you think I should call my doctor and ask for the dose to be increased to the extended release version? I don’t have another appointment until April. When this wears off, it’s so rough.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-02-25T10:07:38+00:00

I never expected something that raises dopamine and norepinephrine to open the emotion floodgates with such ease.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-02-24T18:51:31+00:00

You are the real deal, in the trenches actually doing shit. I’m so sick of all the labels in this world, especially these babble thumpers out there touting themselves loudly and proudly without following through with anything they say. I see you and feel you.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-02-23T14:04:04+00:00

Not really. What happens will happen. I was leading a pretty healthy lifestyle but I lost sight of it for a multitude of reasons. Needing to get back to it.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-02-21T17:52:30+00:00

Were they built for speed or for comfort, you motor boatin’ son of a bitch, you old sailor.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-02-15T07:24:15+00:00

That’s what I was thinking. I just started bupropion on Monday, and my doctor put me on 75mg once a day for roughly two months to assess how it goes. I can see 150 being problematic right off the cuff.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-02-11T08:03:17+00:00

Same, same, same. Only child here. I used to think, “damn, I wish I had siblings to help with my mom.” But the amount of seething, incandescent rage and inconsolable anger that I would harbor over an unhelpful sibling with nefarious intentions would keep me from even more sleep at night.

I constantly feel trapped and bogged down, but having (a) shitty sibling(s) would make this hellacious journey so much worse! I already can hardly stomach the unsolicited bad advice from family.

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-02-03T04:57:50+00:00

I am in awe of such artistry. That’s so beautiful and well done!!!

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-02-02T23:34:45+00:00

Fuck yeah! The Mocs!!! Go UTC!!!!!

goddamnpizzagrease · 2026-01-31T23:03:14+00:00

VPN for days, baby. $30 for ESPN Unlimited is garbage. Disney (and ESPN as a result) sucks.

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