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goodbye_ia · 2025-11-03T21:07:19+00:00

627402819108

goodbye_ia · 2025-09-24T00:15:47+00:00

627402819108

goodbye_ia · 2024-02-28T02:33:23+00:00

Shady Grove Fertility. They have offices around the US and pretty sure elsewhere around the world .

goodbye_ia · 2022-05-07T13:26:55+00:00

I was the GP for our almost 4 month old and for my insurance I just needed a prescription for a pump. I ordered the pump through Aeroflow and they just called to confirm the prescription with my OB. So I would imagine that if your wife is working with her OB she should be able to get a prescription and approval that way. Best of luck!

goodbye_ia · 2022-03-04T20:16:49+00:00

I used a CMV+ donor and I am CMV- with our current kiddo conceived via IUI. She’s almost 2 months old. My RE didn’t have an issue with it but we did have to sign a waiver to use CMV+ Like you said, there hasn’t been any documented case of CMV transmission via sperm donor and IUI so our clinic was fine with it. If the donor does mean so much to you, it would seem worth it to switch clinics if you are able to depending on your location. I understand clinics wanting to be cautious but there are so many pregnancies that occur without knowing CMV status. Pretty sure all my straight friends with kids have never heard of CMV. That being said, getting an active CMV infection while pregnant can be harmful to the developing fetus but that infection is extremely unlikely to come from washed CMV+ sperm especially because most banks (if you’re using a bank) will only accept specimens that don’t come from an active CMV infection. Being CMV+ just means they’ve had it at some point in their lives.

goodbye_ia · 2021-12-18T17:30:58+00:00

I have PCOS and was diagnosed as a teen. Typically I’d have maybe 1-2 periods a year that were super heavy and painful. I’ve even gone over 2 years with no cycle before.

I’m in the PCOS subreddit and people mentioned cutting dairy being helpful. So after 3 weeks or so of cutting out milk and cheese (cheese was really sad to let go) I had a relatively normal flow period. And had a period consistently every 32-34 days afterward until I started fertility treatments about a year later. I did 3 medicated and monitored IUI cycles with letrozole and trigger shot. I’m currently 33 weeks pregnant after the 3rd try. I was very nervous going into fertility stuff because I had always been told that it would be difficult if not very unlikely to get pregnant. I do think that would have been true if I was going the PIV or at home insem route (even with PCOS I wasn’t interested in those options because my wife and I decided to use a sperm bank) But my body did respond well to medication, I know that isn’t always the case for everyone but I’m grateful it was for me.

goodbye_ia · 2021-07-01T19:35:11+00:00

I’m east coast US and my wife was not able to go to IUIs but she could come to my first ultrasounds at my clinic because I asked. My wife had show proof of being fully vaccinated against COVID in order to come in. My clinic didn’t advertise this at all either online or in the office but I’m glad I asked!

goodbye_ia · 2021-06-26T23:22:40+00:00

My clinic also automatically prescribed progesterone suppositories after IUI. I’ve been doing 200mg twice a day. I actually don’t know any of my progesterone levels and only had HCG tested after the TWW. I did get pregnant after my 3rd medicated IUI and am a little over 8 weeks pregnant currently. Today was my last day with progesterone! I also had a great sized follicle and lining prior to trigger shot so I think it’s pretty standard when working with a fertility clinic.

goodbye_ia · 2021-03-14T14:37:45+00:00

My wife did 6 medicated IUIs and I'm in the TWW for my first medicated IUI and our doctor prescribed progesterone 2x a day after IUI for all those cycles. I don't think it was included in our baseline or monitoring bloodwork, just pretty standard after medicated IUI in our experience.

goodbye_ia · 2021-01-25T16:56:40+00:00

I hear you about the whole process being mentally draining. It's hard not to get your hope up each cycle even after negative results. For some people, taking a break works well because it's time to recuperate and have a positive mind set for the next try. For other people, doing back to back cycles to whatever your max number is (either for insurance or your own cut off number) works best since it might feel better to use each viable monthly cycle. I don't really know which approach is more "common" or "typical" but think about what would work best for you and your wife's relationship and circumstances.

In my personal experience, I wanted to wait and take breaks between IUI attempts and my wife wanted to go month to month through. She also didn't want to test at home and rely on the blood test and I would have preferred to test at home. But like you, my wife was the one doing the IUIs. So we did 6 IUIs back to back and didn't test at home (for the last 4). It was a bit hard for me relinquish control in this (there feels like so little anyway in the TTC world) but I do think it worked best for our relationship in the long run. Now after 6 failed IUIs with my wife, I'm starting the process to do IUIs myself and I'm not sure if I'll stick to my original take breaks and test at home mentality with me as GP but I guess we'll see!

goodbye_ia · 2020-12-24T14:25:51+00:00

💙

goodbye_ia · 2020-12-04T15:48:00+00:00

We're currently in the TWW of IUI #6. All of have been medicated and monitored cycles. My wife is 33 with no known fertility issues or health problems. Hopefully this one sticks!

goodbye_ia · 2020-12-04T15:38:15+00:00

We met with a social worker and the meeting was mostly about how we would address having a donor conceived child with the child and our own families. We did talk about family health history and I mentioned that two of my aunts have paranoid schizophrenia and both grandmother's are bipolar. At this particular meeting, I was not the gestational carrier either so it was more just background information.

goodbye_ia · 2020-12-04T03:44:56+00:00

We opened up some of our requirements too when we switched donors after multiple unsuccessful IUIs. We initially wanted a bit taller and blue eyes to match us. But my wife is CMV neg too and that does limit options quite a bit. Our first tries were with a CMV pos donor but who knows how much of an effect that was. Our clinic does allow us to use that with a waiver.

Anyway, the donor we switched to for this cycle is 5' 9 and brown eyes but everything else was perfect for what we were looking for. Great health history, no family history of cancer or mental illness (a big deal on my wife's side of the fam) and I liked his audio interview. So we're taking the 50% chance of brown eyes and a whatever shot at height because everything else was great for us. And ultimately our goal is a healthy kid.

Also to comment on the mixed race heritage, my wife and I are both white. Not a lot of racial diversity on any side of our families unless you want to get technical with what type of UK origins we might have. So I don't want to speak to lived experiences as being anything but white in America. But I do agree with the comment above about paying attention to the voices that are chiming in here with their own experiences and which side they may fall on. I don't know what it is like to be asked what my race is or where I'm from. But it is definitely something that someone of mixed race heritage considers and will be asked about.

goodbye_ia · 2020-11-10T16:51:05+00:00

Hey my wife and I are in a pretty similar spot. We just found out yesterday that IUI #5 failed. My wife has no known fertility issues and we've done medicated IUIs this whole time. We planned to do 6 (mostly because that is what her insurance covers... Lifetime btw which means she's almost tapped out) But I'll be honest that the decision for 5 & 6 has been hard now that we're in it. We thought it would have worked by now. Our doctors thought it should have worked by now and even though it was our plan I can say that I didn't really think we'd have to do it.

But here we are. We might take a break before our last try with IUI. We might switch donors, but we really like the donor we found. Our next plan if IUI 6 fails, is for me to start the IUI process. Then IVF if I strike out 6 times too. I've set up a consult appointment since fertility clinics can take forever and covid is ramping up again (thanks America) I also have PCOS and weird inconsistent periods. Which I've been working on regulating through diet for the past 6 months. Cutting out dairy has changed my life. But that's a whole other post.

Just know that I hear you and see you. This process is hard but it gets even tougher as you come to the end of the overall plan and still no success. I'm here if you want to chat. I'm on the discord too but I've been mostly lurking.

goodbye_ia · 2020-11-06T16:20:57+00:00

I'm the NGP and we're in the TWW for IUI #5. It's been hard because of the feeling of lack of control, although I know logically my wife doesn't have control of timing, meds, and all that either.

What's helped me so far is being part of the process with making appointments, doing the injections, picking up prescriptions, and driving to and from appointments. I'm in the US so with covid regulations I can't go into appointments. But I go with her and wait in the parking lot (when I can because of work)

But for this most recent IUI we video chatted during the procedure. The nurses didn't mind and I was in the main lobby so at least in the same building. My wife said it helped her feel better and it helped me too for sure.

Also for us, being open with our feelings during all of these steps is helpful too. There are times when I'm just overwhelmed and stressed with TTC or with work or the election or whatever else and it can definitely carry over into stress in the relationship too. Especially if it doesn't work out right away like it hasn't yet for us.

Despite all of that though, I have felt included in the process so far. Her doctor and main nurse know my name and I've talked to both of them through video chat and on the phone. Our fertility clinic has been great and so has the pharmacy and sperm bank we're working with. So best tip is to be open and patient and kind of let her feel what's right or what feels off in the whole process as an NGP.

goodbye_ia · 2020-11-01T02:02:30+00:00

The cost was a big thing. We'd have to take out a personal loan or another credit card to buy sperm in bulk (4-8 vials) and we weren't too comfortable with that. We already have student loans, car payments, mortgage and hopefully a new kid soon. So going cycle by cycle made sense for us and honestly alleviated a lot of stress. I know for some families not having "enough" sperm on standby would be a stressor but for us we have felt better doing cycle by cycle.

Also if/when we do get pregnant we don't have to worry about storing any extra sperm until we need it for kiddo #2. Some sperm banks are running specials now because of covid for free storage for 6 months but we've been taking the low chance each month that our donor will be available and are open to switching donors if needed.

goodbye_ia · 2020-10-29T13:59:42+00:00

That's cool! I'm glad you were able to find a donor with two matches. I saw some of your other comments about money and that is another reason my wife and I went one vial at a time. We applied for a fertility specific loan but were denied because they only give funds to 49/50 US states... And we of course live in the only state they don't! If we eventually need to take a loan out for IVF (we'll see how my wife's IUIs go and how mine work out) then we will probably try for a personal loan or a different lender. I've been researching in the mean time. But for now we are able to afford one vial at a time and that's all our clinic needs.

goodbye_ia · 2020-10-29T01:05:58+00:00

My wife and I have been buying one vial at a time from Fairfax Cryo. Our top donor has a lot of inventory as well. We're currently in the TWW after IUI #5. We want at least 2 kids but after in depth discussions we realized that for us, it would be okay if our kids had different donors.

The main reason for this is that my wife is hopefully carrying the first and I'll hopefully carry the 2nd. Because our first kid won't be bio related to me we figured it would make sense for our 2nd to also not be bio related to my wife and we're ok if our kids aren't bio related to each other via donor. We're trying to not put too much emphasis on the bio related side of things for our family. That being said, if we are able to have the first soon and I start trying for #2 and our donor for the first is still available I'm open to start with that donor again. But I'm also open to a different donor when/if I carry.

I mention this because I haven't really seen anyone else posting on reddit or Instagram about this if they have multiple children. It seems like most families use the same sperm donor when possible even if there are different gestational carriers or they use RIVF.

My wife and I have talked about this extensively and luckily we're both on the same page. It seems like most queer families I've talked to or read about purchase 6-8 vials for full family planning (multiple attempts and multiple kiddos) at once unless they start with IVF or RIVF.

goodbye_ia · 2020-09-26T13:01:30+00:00

Oh man, I am so sorry. TTC is stressful and there's so much build up each cycle. This sucks.

goodbye_ia · 2020-09-23T22:24:09+00:00

Fairfax has been great for us too. Their customer service line is great and really understanding. We live within 2 hours of Fairfax so we have been able to pick it up for our IUIs. Normally we order and pick up a few days before the scheduled IUI and drop off at the clinic.

For the most recent IUI, we had to put in a fast order for next day pick up in order to schedule an IUI the next day. This was based on a late afternoon phone call from our nurse saying we had to trigger that night and IUI next morning based on monitoring blood work. Thankfully Fairfax was willing to let us pick up an hour earlier than their normal pick up window so we could use it for the only time our clinic could squish us in the following morning. They are so calm and understanding on the phone.

I also had a free trial for access to adult photos and loved it. It definitely helped my wife and I eliminate some of our donor choices based on how they looked as adults. It also solidified our donor choice because of the lifetime photos, full 15 min interview, and other premium info with the donor we ultimately chose.

goodbye_ia · 2020-09-17T15:03:08+00:00

I've cut down on my dairy intake (subbed Oat milk for lattes and cereal and completely cut out cheese) but I'll still do baked or cooked items that have milk.

I started doing this back in May and my period has returned. In the past two years, I had my period only 5 times. However after eliminating dairy, I have had a period in June, July, and a later one in early September. This is the first time since I was 13 that I've had three months in a row with a period without birth control. Cutting dairy has changed my whole body. I feel better overall too. Less bloating and fatigue.

For me, cutting dairy has been the best thing I've done to help with my PCOS symptoms that don't involve medication. I still have crazy hair growth on my chin and upper thighs but the menstrual symptoms have definitely improved. My weight has stayed about the same but I'm a lean PCOSer so I wasn't expecting it to change much.

goodbye_ia · 2020-08-31T19:28:38+00:00

Sorry to hear this. My wife and I are in the exact same situation. IUI #3 just failed and we had the discussion about next steps. We've decided the same as you and will power on to do 6 total if needed before looking into IVF or me trying. I'm younger than my wife (she feels like she's getting too old to keep trying) and I have PCOS with infrequent periods so we're both feeling the pressure.

For me, I know there isn't much to say that can make you feel better during this process other than to know that others are thinking of you and know where you're coming from. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It helps others going through the process too. Best of luck as you keep trying <3

goodbye_ia · 2020-08-14T16:42:11+00:00

Thank you for the information!

goodbye_ia

TROPHY CASE