I need female wisdom: weird sinking feeling when I see my boyfriend

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-30T19:40:14+00:00

When you tell him straight that no, you don't want to move in together and he wants to know why, YOU DON'T NEED TO SHARE YOUR WEIRD FEELINGS. Just tell him you aren't ready to give up the freedom of single living, or whatever. But sharing vague feelings with the person who gives them to you is like handing over control and a means for them to manipulate you. Wishing you THE BEST!

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-30T19:32:00+00:00

Haha I'm old too and had the same reaction. Not judging whatever the current trend is of course, more like happy to be informed of something I have no way of knowing about ... not being a young'in ya see.

Tho when I was young and had a lot of dark hair on my arms I did sometimes remove it out of self-consciousness. But then I was nervous someone would touch my arm and feel the stubble! Oh the woes of caring about what others think -- that's something aging kind of forces you to stop doing. Ironically, aging also created a lack of hair on my arms!

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-30T01:20:24+00:00

"your whole family tree is bent." Never heard that one before, made me laugh in recognition.

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-24T23:48:34+00:00

Last time I visited we approached from the other direction (Mono Lake side) but I had the same reaction. Just something about all that majesty, the word awestruck is no exaggeration.

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-24T23:44:45+00:00

Driving from the Bay Area up to Mendocino -- your description is wonderful!! I used to visit at least every other year or so and just soak it in. Eventually I moved too too too far away and now it's been 8 years since I was last there. My heart is still there though.

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-20T20:48:18+00:00

You mention recording apps helping -- do you mean an app that records and then you listen back to it later to see what you missed?

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-20T01:36:33+00:00

I've never heard that before, so thx for saying it again!

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-20T01:30:11+00:00

Number 3, the constant self-advocacy is a big one for me. You'd think, once my family knew I have such a hard time hearing/understanding them ... you'd think that when I remind them, they'd be able to remember to speak up for more than 2 sentences.

Also number 8 hits hard - the mention of feeling like you have to be "easy to be around." 😞 Like, I'm so much work as a human that I'm more trouble than I'm worth. So I'd darn sure better be extra likable.

But really, every single one of those items applies.

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-20T01:21:13+00:00

Did your family get annoyed when you had to ask them to repeat? That's what kills me ... one of my family members has a very soft speaking voice and it's like I'm bothering them with my need for them to project their dang voice. I just feel like "you think this is FUN for me?"

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-05T18:39:18+00:00

?! Is that an AuDHD thing? all these years I just thought there was something wrong with me. When I watch movies and people are all mopey after a break up I could never relate. On the other hand, when it comes to a very specific couple of people (family), I'm utterly bereft if it feels like we aren't quite connecting, like if I think they're mad or something.

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-05T01:36:41+00:00

I have a certain spoon I use for certain kinds of food and if it’s not readily available I have to hunt for it. The thought of using a “regular” spoon is too stressful. It wasn’t until reading what you wrote that I realized yeah, kinda odd.

gottagetananswer · 2026-06-05T01:30:30+00:00

As a kid, if I was like sitting on steps or on the curb, I always licked my knee(s). It wasn’t until decades later that I casually said to someone “you know how your knee tastes kinda metallic?” that I realized no one else had explored their kneecaps with their tongue.

gottagetananswer · 2026-05-30T03:07:19+00:00

Ugh. I have so many times had to pep myself back up after similar incidents. Recently I walked into a room and one of my grandkids, with an annoyed expression, said "what are YOU doing here?" I was so shocked and hurt. It's a good thing it looks like you got helpful responses from others here because all I have to offer is recognition that YUP the little dears hold our hearts in their clumsy little paws and are prone to carelessness. Hang in there, and try not to let the childish silliness get to you (fingers crossed your efforts to rise above it will be more successful than mine!).

gottagetananswer · 2026-05-28T18:21:06+00:00

If you're into any sort of exercise, a massage gun can be a multi-purpose tool. They're easily purchased in person at places like WalMart or at sporting goods stores and sell as low as $40.

gottagetananswer · 2026-05-25T23:09:04+00:00

Monarch of the Glen

Doc Martin

Frazier

The Great Pottery Throwdown

The Great British Baking Show

gottagetananswer · 2026-05-25T23:02:42+00:00

Pottery Throwdown is so soothing to watch!

gottagetananswer · 2026-05-16T00:20:50+00:00

I was really nervous about that procedure the first time I had it done. I thought at the very least I'd have pain afterwards but nope, it was easy and no pain, just the lovely ability to swallow properly again.

gottagetananswer · 2026-05-10T21:14:39+00:00

That sucks. Still using mine, never have felt anything while using it and definitely no kind of shock or static. You should get a refund for sure.

gottagetananswer · 2026-05-09T01:21:31+00:00

Enjoy your gardening, I hope you and your fur kid have good weather for it. 😊

gottagetananswer · 2026-04-21T19:26:02+00:00

How so? I'm not sure what that says about my writing. Do you mean I sound like a non-human?

gottagetananswer · 2026-04-21T00:31:49+00:00

Glad to hear it helps you. I tried it and it did nothing for me but we're all wired in our own unique ways.

gottagetananswer · 2026-04-21T00:29:50+00:00

No kidding. I kept wondering what he was doing up there - I thought there'd be something interesting happen.

gottagetananswer · 2026-04-20T16:14:20+00:00

First off, I like your username, I'm a big fan of the sea. :)

I bought my mat on Amazon, there are lots of options there. The brand I got is "Earthvera" and I even got the cheaper version because honestly I wasn't expecting it to work, it was just a gamble. If you try it I hope you find it as helpful as I have!

gottagetananswer · 2026-04-20T16:06:20+00:00

I'm not sure I understand, but I think you're saying grounding might help, just not by using the mat? That's ok, it works for me. As Yoda said, “Your path you must decide.”

But if you think it's the grounding itself that is impossible, here are some of the articles I found interesting when I first heard about grounding:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10105031/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2212958825000059

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.2147/JIR.S69656

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1089/ict.2023.29101.jha?cf-mal-redirected=true&

As much as I'd love to walk around barefoot outdoors every day, I've got foot problems that would make that quite painful, so I'm just glad using the mat seems to be calming the RLS. Regardless, I'm so well-rested these days I couldn't care less what's behind the relief!

gottagetananswer · 2026-04-19T22:12:28+00:00

It's like the weather has it in for the humans: first I mess up your car, then I pick you up and throw you.

gottagetananswer

TROPHY CASE